If you have Netflix, Party Down!

You know, I really don't take proper care of my Netflix queue.

I visited it the other day to add the first season of "Burn Notice" and found it to be empty except for three movies and TV stuff in the "saved" category that have yet to come out: "Homicide: The Movie," "Margaret's Museum" and "Party Down: Season One."

Now, it looks like the first two will never come out, so I just kinda keep them there to keep hope alive. It was with the third, however, that I found a pleasant surprise.

I know you can watch movies instantly at Netflix, but have only done that so far with "Superbad" (still, except for maybe "O Brother Where Art Thou," the best way to kill a couple of hours on a Saturday afternoon, and "To Kill a Mockingbird," just because.) When I visited the queue the other day to replenish it (any suggestions are welcome), I found you can also watch the entire first season of the extremely funny show "Party Down," even though the show doesn't come out on DVD for who knows how long (and, I checked, you can't do that at either the Starz site or Hulu.) Amazingly, however, you can apparently watch the great Angola Prison documentary "The Farm" at Hulu if you so choose.

But back to the matter at hand. I know I'll always sound like a rube until I die, and believe me, by now I'm just fine with that, but the Internets just continue to amaze me, and this is no exception.

"Party Down," given its pedigree ("Veronica Mars" creator Rob Thomas and veryfunnyguy Paul Rudd are among its creators) and cast (Adam Scott, Ken Marino, Lizzy Caplan, Ryan Hansen, the great Martin Starr and Jane Lynch, who I think has departed for "Glee," are all very funny in it), this show should be extremely funny, and it doesn't disappoint. But the show about a catering company full of former or extremely underemployed actors features a dark, very bitter kind of funny, so be warned.

The funniest thing to me in the first eight episodes (which is how far I've made it, out of 10) was Marino's character, the caterer who just wants to open a Soup R Crackers franchise, discussing with rapper Dro Grizzle (guest star Kevin Hart, remember him from "Undeclared"?) whether or not black people eat soup. You'll have to believe me that it's a whole lot funnier on screen than on paper, and the first season is riddled with very funny celebrity cameos, including in one of the episodes I haven't seen yet, a visit from "Veronica Mars" herself, Kristen Bell.

And OK, that's a long enough plug for a lazy Sunday morning. Peace out.

I truly love Anna Faris, but ...

Before we get into this week's movies, two of which I think I'll actually see. there's a couple of other cool little nuggets out there today to deal with.

First, it seems that Mike Judge might actually get to make a movie that plays in theaters somewhere besides New York, L.A. and Austin before hitting DVD.

As far as I can tell, "Extract" is about two dudes who toil in a flower extract factory, to be played by Ben Affleck and Jason Bateman (huzzah!). I'm not even sure what "flower extract" means, but with Mila Kunis and Clifton Collins Jr. (who, frankly, should be an Oscar winner already for his work in "Capote") also in the cast - and Judge writing and directing - I'm definitely in.

And I've never really understood why Judge hasn't been given much of a chance to show he has artistic life after Beavis and Butthead. "Idiocracy," while certainly not a groundbreaking work of any kind, was a solidly funny comedy that almost no one got to see in a movie theater, and if you haven't seen "Office Space" more than once by now I'm just really not sure what to tell you.

The second thing that grabbed my attention was a Michael Ausiello piece for Entertainment Weekly with this rather enticing headline: Exclusive: Bell, Thomas Orbit 'Veronica Mars' Movie.

Despite that bit of exaggeration, the actual news isn't all that major, but when it comes to a "Veronica Mars" movie I'll take whatever I can get. What actually happened was that Kristen Bell stopped by the office of "Veronica Mars" creator Rob Thomas, which just happens to be on the same studio lot where Bell is working on the next season of "Heroes" (which I think is gonna be just great after a rather off-putting Vol. 2.) The talk naturally turned to "Veronica Mars," and Thomas tells Ausiello, "Kristen and I ran into each other, and we did discuss a Veronica movie," and that he's also had "a few conversations" with "Mars" executive producer Joel Silver.

I'd say that's pretty far from them "circling" a "Veronica Mars" movie, but we can always keep hope alive!

And now, finally, on to this week's movies, in the order that I want to see them:

1. "The Rocker"
From the reviews I've read so far, just about every scene in this one is stolen almost directly from either "School of Rock" or "This is Spinal Tap," but if you're gonna pilfer your inspiration you might as well start with two flicks I just adore. Besides, Rainn Wilson is simply a very funny guy, and if it means seeing him expose his rather flabby physique way too much to get him a starring role on the big screen, I'm in.

2. "The House Bunny"
As the title of this post makes clear, I think Anna Faris is also just a natural comedienne (and a first-rate cutie, of course, which never hurts.) I've been pleasantly surprised by the positive reviews so far for this one, with a glowing one from Variety and an even split (13 tomatoes, 13 splats) at Rotten Tomatoes. One critic I always trust, however, Nell Minow, has this to say: "The screenplay inflicts a little more injury on Faris than it intends to by committing the very sins it half-heartedly attempts to parody." I'm still in and hoping against hope that she's wrong on this one.

3. "The Longshots"
It's certainly nice to see Ice Cube doing something besides abusing himself, his movie family and all his audience members in those pathetic "Are We There Yet" movies, but I'm afraid I'm just too old for this feel-good flick about a girl who just wants to play Pop Warner football with the boys. That said, Keke Palmer was simply fantastic in "Akeelah and the Bee," so I hope this makes tons of cash and continues her road to stardom.

4. "Death Race"
As cool as Jason Statham was in this year's most surprisingly entertaining flick, "The Bank Job," I just don't think there's any way I can go for a beyond thoroughly unnecessary remake of Paul Bartel's already very silly (bur also really fun) "Death Race 2000." As my rather observant and witty co-worker Erin Ivanov noted, once a movie has had the "Mystery Science Theater 3000" treatment, there's just no way it should ever be remade. And I sure hope Joan Allen and Ian McShane were well, well paid for lowering themselves to this!

And there you have it. Because of an odd confluence of overtime I actually have four days off in a row (I'm not complaining, believe me!), so I'm also headed to Atlanta on Sunday to finally see the Georgia Aquarium and possibly even another movie. Woody Allen's "Vicky Christina Barcelona," which should be playing everywhere already (as its TV commercial already promises) is probably my first choice, but we'll see. Have a perfectly pleasant weekend!

A "Veronica Mars" reunion? Well, sort of

Just how in the world did Rob Thomas become the hottest property on TV?

I mean, I'm all for second (or third) chances, and I've made clear my devotion to Thomas' way-too-short-lived "Veronica Mars," but three pilots in one season? Sheesh.

Just 'cause I'm in that kind of mood this morning, I'll start with the least interesting and work my way up to the news of the day (just in case you couldn't figure it out from that none-too-cryptic headline.)

The first is some kind of reimagining/update/sequel to "Beverly Hills 90210." Now, I'm an admitted fan of trashy TV, tuning in as I do week after week for the CW's "Gossip Girl" even though I'm at least a few years beyond its target demographic (hey, knock it if you will, but I work 10-hour days and rather enjoy a little mindless entertainment at the end of the day.) Even so, I just can't see any possible way I'll tune in to this one.

The second must give Thomas some solace after his failed attempts to resuscitate "Veronica Mars" in a slightly altered format. For ABC he's getting to revive another of his shows that fans (though I can't say I'm one, since I missed it the first time) would say died too soon, "Cupid." I don't have too-high hopes for this one unless he's able to bring back star Jeremy Piven, which doesn't yet seem to be in the works.

And now, finally, to the big news of the day: Kristen Bell let it slip to E! Entertainment's Kristin Dos Santos here that she is indeed in final negotiations to reunite with Thomas for his third - and by far most interesting - pilot of the season. Also for ABC, he's developing something called "Outrageous Fortune," which is based on an Aussie series and centers on a family of criminals in which moms tries to make everyone go straight after dad gets sent to the big house. In less interesting casting news, Rene Russo is about to sign on as the mom. Sorry, but I've just never cared for her much at all.

Man, even if Mr. Thomas really likes to work, that just seems like a recipe for burnout. If Bell is indeed able to fit it into her schedule - along with a confirmed return engagement on "Heroes" and her continuing narration on "Gossip Girl" - "Outrageous Fortune" at least is one well worth keeping your eyes on this fall.

New "Muppet Movie" clearly in the right hands

For me, the Muppets are just something you don't mess with unless you have the purest of intentions, and it seems that Jason Segel and Nick Stoller indeed have a great, old-fashioned idea for the beloved critters.

According to this report at CHUD, the plotline they're developing in fact sounds like it fits right in the Muppet world. The Muppets will apparently be doing what Muppets do - putting on a show - this time to save their theater from an evil character who wants to tear the place down to get at the oil underneath.

Sounds great to me. Segel next stars with Ms. Bell in "Forgetting Sarah Marshall," which will hopefully be the year's first great comedy when it finally drops April 18, and there's some other pretty cool casting news out about another of his upcoming projects.

"I Love You, Man" will star the very funny Paul Rudd as a man who's about to get married and - realizing he has no friends - goes on a series of man-dates to find a best man, which turns out to be Segel. Rashida Jones is on hand as Rudd's fiancee, and in great news, Jamie Pressly - the funniest gal on TV on "My Name is Earl" - has now joined the cast as her best friend.

Now, this is apparently written and directed by John Hamburg, who made the rather wretched "Along Came Polly," but he also directed some episodes of Judd Apatow's "Undeclared" back in the day, so I'm willing to cut him a break. Besides, if he actually manages to come up with something bad with a cast like that, it will indeed be a rather monumental failure.

Your daily dose of Nazis

What could brighten your day more than a photo of Tom Cruise and, even better, the great Bill Nighy in their best Nazi garb on the set of Bryan Singer's "Valkyrie"? Well, I couldn't think of anything, so here's the best photo from Empire magazine, and you can find a few others here. Peace out.

Hiya! Hiya! There's a new Muppets movie in the works!

Statler: Well, how do you like the film?
Waldorf: I've seen detergents leave a better film than this.

Yeah, yeah, I suppose there's pretty big news out there today about a certain wizard's seventh book being divided into his seventh and eighth film, with David Yates coming back to direct them both, but if you look at the world like I do, that just pales in comparison to this:

There's gonna be a new Muppets movie! Not a remake of the movie I was convinvced, at 9 years old, was the greatest cinematic creation of all time, but an actual new Muppets movie.

I shouldn't get so excited about this, I suppose, but I can't help it. I just love the Muppets beyond all reason, and everything about this project sounds right so far (though really, we don't know too much at all right now.)

The facts, so far, are these: Former "Geek" Jason Segel and his writing partner, Nick Stoller, will come up with an original Muppets script, with Stoller set to direct.

So, just how does someone land this rather distinguished honor? Well, apparently, the Henson folks had a hand in Segel and Stoller's upcoming camp Apatow comedy "Forgetting Sarah Marshall," which hopefully won't suck when it drops April 18. In the flick, Segel's character, who has just had his heart broken by Veronica Mars (more on that, sort of, later in this post), somehow ends up performing a "Dracula" puppet show using creations from the Henson shop. How exactly this emboldened Segel to make a pitch to the Henson folks to come up with a Muppets movie I'm not sure, but he did, and, thankfully, both Henson and Disney bit.

Along with being an alum of both "Freaks and Geeks" and "Undeclared," easily my two favorite one-season-only TV shows, Segel of course also stars on the very funny (but somehow apparently on the "bubble") "How I Met Your Mother," which returns to CBS with new episodes Monday. If you like this show at all, please tune in so CBS doesn't pull the plug on a fourth season!

As for the Muppets movie, I offer only one dose of caution. Please, please, please remember that the Muppets thrived on jokes, like the one that started this post, that were always a little cheesy but also always appropriate for all ages. They were never (too) crude, and they were never, to the best of my memory, computer-generated. With those simple rules in mind, I say congratulations Mr. Segel, and please have a lot of fun with this!

Warner Independent gets its 'Wishbones'

How exactly does every book Tom Perrotta write get made into a movie? Don't get me wrong: "Election" is close to a minor comic masterpiece, and once I finally got around to seeing it, "Little Children" was easily one of the best movies of 2006. I'm just saying, the dude certainly is on a winning streak.

His newest novel, "The Abstinence Teacher," which I haven't read, was picked up by Warner Independent Pictures before it came out, and now the same studio has purchased the rights to my favorite Perrotta novel, "The Wishbones."

Though admittedly rather similar in tone (but not structure) to Nick Hornby's "High Fidelity," it's still an endearing tale of growing up (and refusing to.) The "hero" is a 30-year-old New Jersey wedding band (the Wishbones) musician who still lives with his parents. Just as he's about to marry his longtime girlfriend, he begins an affair with a Bohemian poet from Manhattan and, well, the rest you can find out for yourself.

The "Little Miss Sunshine" producing duo Albert Berger and Ron Yerxa are overseeing both this and "The Abstinence Teacher," which is being directed, not too coincidentally, by "Little Miss Sunshine" helmers Valere Faris and Jonathan Dayton. A little incestuous, perhaps, but if it leads to good movies, so what?

Please, Naomi, say it ain't so!

A question for Naomi Watts: If you have to spend the next two years or so saying nice things about thoroughly unnecessary and, in the latter case, outright criminal remakes, does your soul die or just erode a bit?

I like Naomi Watts in a lot of things ("Eastern Promises," "The Ring" and, way back when, "Flirting" come to mind), but how in the world did she end up in both Michael Haneke's remake of his own movie, now known apparently as "Funny Games U.S.", and Michael Bay's latest assault on cinema, an actual remake of "The Birds" (being directed by Martin Campbell)?

I'm sure she'll make movies I'll like (or even bother to see) again, but in the meantime she's left to heap empty praise like this on the "The Birds" remake:

"It's a work-in-progress at this point. I think it's a wonderful film. There are great things in it that interest me. The script isn't completely there yet, it probably won't happen until next year."

I hope that means there's still time to pull out of this before it destroys you, Naomi!

From "Veronica Mars" to "90210"?

I suppose that "Veronica Mars" creator Rob Thomas has gotta eat, but this project just sounds too silly to be real (which of course means it is.)

The programming geniuses at the CW have indeed commissioned Thomas to develop a contemporary spinoff of "Beverly Hills 90210" for CBS Paramount Network TV.

Though I'm almost certain I couldn't bring myself to tune into this, assuming it ever hits the airwaves, I do have one question: Since most of the "kids" seemed to be at least 30 when the original "90210" went off the air, won't they be approaching 50 now? Who in the world really wants to see that?

And since you're in the spinoff biz, CW, why didn't you bite on Thomas' original spinoff pitch, which would have put Kirsten Bell's Veronica Mars character at the FBI Academy? Sheesh.

A new trailer for "The Incredible Hulk"

OK, enough silliness. I'll end instead with this fairly cool trailer for the upcoming "Incredible Hulk" movie starring Edward Norton, Liv Tyler and Tim Roth. I think I'm just about the only person in the world who actually liked Ang Lee's take on the hulk, but I will admit that from what little I've seen of this new version it does look and feel a lot more like a comic book movie at heart. Peace out.

Ellen Page is headed to "Hell"

The big news this morning, of course, is that the writers' strike finally appears to be at an end.

Showrunners are back at work today, and writers are expected back Wednesday, but I have to ask: what exactly did they win? WGA west President Patric Verrone said the new deal is "... not all that we hoped for, and it is not all we deserve." Judging from what I see in TV commercials, however, I fear it will be even worse than that.

Why so pessimistic? I was fairly happy that this was all over until, on Sunday night, I saw a commercial for something on NBC with the word "Truth" in it (the full name escapes me, and I really just can't justify the effort to find out what it is). On this rather reprehensible program, a man seemed to be answering questions, while hooked up to a lie detector, with his marriage and, I presume, most of his life in the balance.

Does anyone see the entertainment value in this? And if so, could you please explain it to me? Here's hoping that the labor peace will lead to some actually scripted TV this fall, but I fear the breach will be too much to mend. I'm sure there's blame to go around, but just to pile on NBC a bit more, the network has already announced it is ending the pilot process used to woo advertisers, which can only be a bad sign.

But enough of that. Even if I fear it will be a phyrric victory at best, the writers are indeed headed back to work, and we should at least celebrate that. And, since nothing makes Mondays go down better than good news about beautiful women, that's all I'll have from here on out (at least until the very end.)

No "Heroes" until Fall

One show that will definitely return, but not until Fall, is NBC's "Heroes," which is seriously in need of a good season after the near-disaster that was Volume 2.

Hayden Panettiere, while at the Berlin Film Festival, spilled the beans to an AICN scribe that filming on season three is set to start in April, which would logically mean we wouldn't get anything new until the Fall.

Whenever it comes, I'll be ready for more. Season two was often a maddening one to me (what in the world was the point of adding the wonder twins Maya and Alejandro, for starters?), but the last few episodes really picked up steam and set up well for the next edition, so definitely bring it on.

Ellen Page is headed to "Hell"

And finally we get to the still-fairly-young lady of the moment. Lest anyone get suspicious that I write about Ms. Page so often simply because it leads to more traffic on this site (which it certainly does), you'll have to trust me that that's not it.

I've seen "Juno" twice now, and it's simply a charming little movie, and mostly thanks to Page's work in the lead role. It's not the best movie of 2007, an honor that I'd split between "No Country for Old Men" and "Ratatouille," but I would call it just about the most fun flick of the year, and that's good enough for me.

And now Ellen Page is about to spread some of her good karma to someone who sorely needs it: Sam Raimi. No one (except for maybe M. Night Shymalan) is more in need of a satisfying flick than Raimi after the dour disaster that was "Spider-Man 3," and his next one, "Drag Me to Hell," is rapidly shaping up to be just the ticket.

All I know so far is that Ellen Page has just signed on to star in the horror flick and that it's described simply as "a morality tale about the unwitting recipient of a supernatural curse."

Raimi and his brother Ted, the team behind "Spidey 3," wrote the script for this one too, so here's hoping they indeed have a lot more fun when this begins shooting in March.

"Veronica Mars" gets Disney treatment

Speaking of "Heroes," Season 2 semi-regular Kristen Bell has just signed on for a Disney romantic comedy, not at all my cup of tea but noteworthy nonetheless.

In "When in Rome," also set to begin filming in March," Bell will play a successful real estate agent in New York City who can't find a lasting relationship (already more than bit hard to believe.) When her younger sister impulsively marries in Rome, she flies out for the wedding and, after picking up coins from a reputed "fountain of love," finds an overabundance of suitors waiting for her back home.

Like I said, sounds like a whole lot of meh to me, but don't blame the messenger.

"Ratatouille" cleans up at Annies

And speaking of "Ratatouille," Brad Bird's Pixar flick won a leading 11 Annies (by my best estimate) at Friday's ceremony, so a hearty huzzah to that.

Along with best picture, best writing and best directing, it also scored the voice work prize for Ian Holm (though I would have given the honor to either fellow "Ratatouille" nominee Janeane Garofalo or the somehow-snubbed completely Peter O'Toole.) And while we're at it, congrats too to "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" vet Seth Green, a winner for best director of a TV show for the sublime "Robot Chicken."

And why not wrap this up with a look at Pixar's next summer offering, "Wall-E"? I still have doubts that this largely dialogue-free flick will work, but just a look at Wall-E's eyes is enough to give me hope. Enjoy the trailer, and have an entirely bearable Monday. Peace out.

All hail Criterion: Demko's DVD shelf

The big news if, like me, you happen to live in Macon, is that Wes Anderson's "Darjeeling Limited" is coming to The Grand (formerly known as the AmStar) this weekend. I've been back to the site three times already to check it, but it seems a slow movie weekend means the answer to "how far will I have to drive to watch the new Wes Anderson movie?" is, well, about 10 miles. Huzzah to that.

For the rest of the world, thanks to Criterion (who are at work on a special edition of Anderson's "Bottle Rocket"), it's a banner week on DVD with two genuine classics getting grand treatment.

First up comes "A Bout de Souffle," or as Criterion has chosen to call it by its English title, "Breathless," or as I like to call it each time I finish watching it, "quite possibly the coolest movie ever made."

An exaggeration? I don't think so. If you've never seen Jean Paul Belmondo riffing on Bogie and pitching woo at the very funny Jean Seberg, watch this immediately. There was also an American version of this starring Richard Gere, but i couldn't possibly give you an opinion on that since I could never bring myself to watch it.

For the new Criterion edition of Jean Luc Godard's original Frenchy flick, the extras include: Archival interviews with Godard, Belmondo, Seberg and co-star Jean-Pierre Melville; new video interviews with director of photography Raoul Coutard, assistant director Pierre Rissient and filmmaker D. A. Pennebaker; New video essays: filmmaker and critic Mark Rappaport's "Jean Seberg" and critic Jonathan Rosenbaum's "Breathless as Film Criticism"; "Chambre 12, Hotel de Suede," an 80-minute French documentary about the making of "A Bout de Souffle," with members of the cast and crew; "Charlotte et son Jules," a 1959 short film by Godard, starring Belmondo; and a booklet featuring writings from Godard, film historian Dudley Andrew, Francois Truffaut's original film treatment and Godard's scenario. With all that included, I just can't recommend this one highly enough.

In making "Days of Heaven," American director Terrence Malick clearly took note of the French New Wave to make some ripples of his own. His increasing abhorrence of anything resembling a structured plot has, for me at least, made his recent movies like "The New World" almost unwatchable, but with this '70s flick he was clearly on top of his game.

As visually stunning as it is all-around entertaining, "Days of Heaven" stars Gere as a Chicago steel worker who accidentally kills his supervisor and flees to the Texas panhandle with his girlfriend (Brooke Adams) and little sister (Linda Manz) to work harvesting wheat in the fields of a stoic farmer (Sam Shepard). What they find there develops into a love triangle and much more.

For the Criterion edition you won't get a commentary from the very camera-shy Mr. Malick, so instead there's one from art director Jack Fisk, editor Billy Weber, costume designer Patricia Norris and casting director Dianne Crittenden, who all apparently provide insight into just how hard it was to work for the demanding Malick.

There's also an audio interview with Gere that plays over footage from the film, in which he also vents some frustrations with Malick. Rounding out the set are interviews with Shepard and with camera operators John Bailey and Haskell Wexler. If you have a few shekels lying around, you can pick up these two genuine classics for $53 from Amazon, which sounds like a pretty good deal to me.

"Fido" - a zombie movie I somehow managed to miss

I've seen the poster for "Fido" several times now, but it never hit me that that was the very funny Billy Connolly all zombied out in the picture. If that's not enough to make this at least worth a rental, well, you and I clearly just have different tastes in movies. As far as I can tell, this is basically a boy-and-his-dog movie in which the dog just happens to be a zombie. I'm there already.

Two great TV series come to an end

I'm about to watch Kristen Bell's "Heroes" debut on the DVR (as soon as I can wrap this up, in fact), and seeing her again will be nice, but not as nice as the oft-rumored but ultimately failed revival of "Veronica Mars" would have been. The series had already lost its way a bit in the third and final season, out on DVD today, as it substituted mini-cases for a single, season-long puzzle to solve. Even in its lesser form, however, it was funnier and smarter than just about anything else on TV, and well worth buying on DVD. If you spring for it, you'll even get "Pitching Season 4": An in-depth interview with creator Rob Thomas discussing the new direction for the series he tried to pitch to network executives that picks up years later, with Veronica as a rookie FBI agent.

"The Sopranos - Season 6, Part 2" famously wrapped up the mob series with an up-in-the-air ending that infuriated many fans but just worked for me. I've never been one that demands closure, and from what I hear the ending of the new Coen bros. flick "No Country for Old Men" will put this further to the test, assuming I ever get to see it. Along with the final nine episodes, you get the promising featurette "Making Cleaver": A behind-the-scenes look at Christopher's horror film, and "The Music of The Sopranos," in which creator David Chase, cast, and crew discuss the songs from the show.

And now, if you'll excuse me, I am indeed going to cut this short and go watch "Heroes" now. Peace out.

Remake news so bad I couldn't possibly make it up

This being Monday and all, I'd love to be the bearer of better news. And at least part of me hopes you've all heard this somewhere else first to soften the blow.

When I first heard the idea that someone would actually remake "The Birds," I just assumed it was some kind of urban legend. No one would really do that, would they?

Well, as has happened at least once before, it seems I'm wrong. I hope Martin Campbell lives a long time and makes a lot more movies, because it's gonna take a heck of a lot of good karma to survive this.

Until now he's had a good enough run. "Casino Royale" was the best Bond movie in many, many years, and his "Zorro" sequel was fun enough. The ride stops, however, stops when he puts his hands on Hitchcock.

Here, as far as I can muster from the French site Cinempire.com, are the details: The bold fools who will write this abomination for Campbell are Paul Harris Boardman and Scott Derrickson (the team that wrote "The Exorcism of Emily Rose," a surprisingly entertaining flick.) In case you haven't vomited from all this yet, brace yourself, because it only gets worse.

What do you do when you know you're taking on a remake that should never even be started? Call it a "re imagining," of course. The formerly fairly talented Todd McFarlane is doing the same thing with "The Wizard of Oz," unless I rather quickly develop a talent like Maya's on "Heroes" and can do the world a big favor by taking all these idiots out (stay tuned, by the way, for much better news about "Heroes" in the next segment.)

And, worst of all about this madness: Naomi Watts is at least rumored to be in negotiations to fill the shoes of Tippi Hedren (who, I was pleasantly surprised to find, is still alive and kicking.) If she still has the energy at age 77, I would hope she'd use her foot on Ms. Watts' also rather pleasant posterior to kick enough sense into her to get her to just say no to this.

Whew. That's a lot of bile for a Monday morning, so how about some much better news about another blonde I like even more than Naomi?

Veronica Mars on "Heroes" tonight!

Just typing that was enough to make me smile, so I indeed hope I have that right. I've enjoyed hearing Kristen Bell's voice on "Gossip Girl" (yes, I'll admit it, I watch that), but it will be so much better to see her face again too on "Heroes."

As far as I can tell from the commercial, she's pursuing Peter Petrelli (Milo Ventamiglia) for some reason. The best NBC could come up with for a tagline was "what power will she have?" I would have at least added "Veronica Mars back on TV? F*** yeah!) A bit misleading, perhaps, but much more effective. Definitely tune in tonight.

More incredibly bad news

Sorry to alternate like this, but I'm still not fully awake, to be honest.

What's worse than a thoroughly unnecessary remake? In my book it would have to be these so-called "spoof" movies that won't just die. Apparently enough people (though hopefully no one reading this) went to see "The Comebacks" in week one that it made nearly $6 million. Not a ton, I guess, but probably enough to justify it's excremental existence.

Can it get any worse? After you watch this clip, you'll know the answer is definitely yes. I won't spoil it for you, because it's something you have to see to believe. I'll just leave you with a few questions. If you steal complete scenes from a flick, when does it stop being a "spoof" and just become a crime? And, not that I want to see her more often, but does Carmen Electra have a contract that only allows her to star in these flicks?. Anyways, I won't delay your agony any further. Click on the video if you dare, and please, please, remember I'm just the messenger. Peace out.