Should you watch the "Watchmen"? A conditional vote for yes

Before I get into any of that, I just wanted to say that it's simply nice to see that Andrés Galarraga, a k a the Big Cat, is still alive and looking very healthy. He was always easily one of my favorite Major League Baseball players, and was diagnosed with cancer way back in 2000, so it was just great to see him on the bench managing the Venezuelan team in the World Baseball Classic (and thank God for baseball of any kind!)

OK, enough of that. Here today, as it has been for much of the past month, it's all about Zack Snyder's "Watchmen." And now, after having sat on this since about 3 p.m. Saturday afternoon and let it stew around in my mind, I'm ready to call it at least a qualified success (despite its rather underwhelming $55 million opening.)

The main complaint I've heard about Snyder's work is that he stuck way too close to the comic book script and really just made a paint-by-numbers version for the big screen, but I don't really buy it. With "300" he certainly took all of Frank Miller's palate and tone to tell the tale of the battle of Thermopylae, but given the revered nature of what he was working with here and the big input of "Watchmen" co-creator Dave Gibbons on the set, I thought he really put his own pop sensibility on this story. AND PLEASE, BE WARNED, I WILL BE UNABLE TO DO THIS WITHOUT MAJOR, MAJOR SPOILERS, SO IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE FLICK YET OR JUST DON'T WANT TO KNOW, DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER.

It starts out right away with the deliriously entertaining opening credits, set to the tune of Bob Dylan's "The Times They Are a Changing." I laughed out loud when Silhouette stole that V-J Day kiss and reeled from the sucker punch of her murder only seconds later. For me at least, this spell lasted throughout the flick, even as the other facet of Snyder's style, the need to spatter as much blood as David Cronenberg at his bloodiest, came to the fore.

And it's certainly true that one of the many directors who have circled this project through the years, Terry Gilliam, probably would have taken more chances with this, but I'd have to imagine that's exactly why he and others failed to follow through on it to the finish. Just as the "Watchmen" comic book was all about the good and bad consequences of compromise, so is the movie itself, and it comes down mostly on the good side of things in my book.

What transferred my love of the comic most directly to the big screen is that the movie handled two of my favorite sequences just about perfectly. The first is Dr. Manhattan's TV interview and subsequent trip to Mars. Snyder doesn't have the space to play all the time games that Moore did in the comic, but he still manages to make it hit hard when Janey Slater pulls off that wig and makes the desolate Mars scape the ultimate spot for Dr. Manhattan's intentional isolation. It certainly helps that, as he tells the hero's tale, Billy Crudup manages to capture all the soul hidden behind that vacant stare (even as he does, be warned, dangle his blue wang-dang-doodle quite a bit.)

The second thing it nailed just about perfectly was also driven by spot-on performances by Jackie Earle Haley as Rorschach and - to a lesser extent - the always-welcome Danny Woodburn as the diminutive Big Figure. Haley just simmers with all the right snarling rage once he's unmasked as Walter Kovacs, and I just had to smile the first time that Woodburn (a k a Kramer's tiny co-conspirator Mickey Abbott on "Seinfeld") came around the corner to confront him in his cell.

So then, what didn't work? Well, for me, it was mainly one scene Snyder left in but botched and two that he almost entirely left out (and in the second case just should have altogether.)

The first, and the single worst scene of the entire movie, was the almost completely passion-free love scene between Nite Owl II (Patrick Wilson) and Silk Specter II (Malin Ackerman.) Given the amount of skin it shows (and yes, as the Comedian might say, it certainly does prove in Ms. Ackerman's case that those are some good genes), it's a curiously joyless affair, made all the worse by the attachment of a version of Leonard Cohen's great song "Hallelujah" to it. Just an all-around travesty.

And the most glaring omission would have to be the death of Hollis Mason, a moving moment in the comic book that's replaced in the flick by a random encounter between Nite Owl II, Silk Spectre II and a street gang. But the most grating of all was the inclusion of the newsstand owner and comic book reader for just a split second before they are obliterated. The two of them offer a running commentary on the end of the world that drives a good portion of Moore's tale, so to waste them in such a way on screen was just a total spit in the face.

So, given all that, what tipped the scales to make this one at least a conditional winner in my book? Well, Alan Moore fans can squawk all they want, but for me it was the ending (AND ONCE AGAIN, IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW ABOUT IT, PLEASE DO NOT READ ON AND THEN TRY TO BLAME ME LATER.)

To me, it kept all of Moore's big ideas about compromise vs. absolutism intact while just improving on the overall story. Sure, it would have been fun to see the giant squid appear, but would you really want to add another 45 minutes to the flick while Ozymandias (Matthew Goode) explained just how he managed to cook that up? As it is, having the attacks instead mirror the energy of Dr. Manhattan just perfectly amplifies the God vs. man angle, and makes that fact that it's the good Dr. who finally has to encounter Rorschach all the more compelling.

In the end, I'm glad that in this case Snyder's compromises won out over Moore's absolutism so this movie could be made in the first place, and with my Grand/Amstar Cinemas Mystery Shopper pass in hand I'll probably go see it again this coming weekend (since there seems to just be nothing of any merit at all opening.) And in a rather tangential closing, here's a clip of the only performance of "Hallelujah" that can even come close to rivaling Jeff Buckley's, by the singer/songwriter Allison Crowe. Enjoy, have a perfectly passable Monday, and please let me know if you think I'm just all wrong about Snyder's flick. Peace out.

What did we learn, kids? Don't f#%&$ with Tyler Perry!

How in the world did Tyler Perry manage to beat down the Jonas Brothers? I should have suspected something was up when black folks outnumbered teens and tweens by better than two to one as I lined up for a ticket Saturday (I was going to see "Milk" before it leaves theaters for good.)

In the biggest surprise so far this year, "Tyler Perry's Madea Goes to Jail" managed to hold on to the top box office slot with a week-two haul of $16.5 million, while those Jonas kids only limped home with $12.7 million for "Jonas Brothers: The 3-D Concert Experience."

Amazing but, in my opinion, well-deserved, because despite his usual haul of lukewarm-at-best reviews, this is Tyler Perry's best film since "Madea's Family Reunion," and one I think just about anyone willing to take a chance on it will enjoy.

Beyond that on a quiet Monday morning (on which, amazingly, there is still some snow on the ground outside in Macon, Ga.!), the biggest news out there is about Jason Reitman's next flick, "Up in the Air." It wouldn't seem like taking a more-than-two-year directing break after something as solidly entertaining as "Juno" would be the best of career moves, but thankfully he's back at work now on something that sounds like a lot of fun.

George Clooney has already signed on to play a corporate downsizer who is obsessed with collecting frequent flyer miles at the expense of having a life, and now "Juno" star Jason Bateman has signed on to play his boss. "Twilight" fans should take note that Anna Kendrick, easily one of my favorite young actresses, has a pretty big role in this one too (though I plug it all the time, if you haven't seen the charming little flick "Rocket Science," in which she also stars, rent it immediately.) Her role was initially described as a love interest for Clooney, but since she still only looks like she's maybe 20 years old, I don't think they really want to go there.

Remember Gurinder Chadha?

The other big news from this morning's box office report was that "Slumdog Millionaire" enjoyed the best post-Oscars bounce since "Titanic." Danny Boyle's flick grossed $12.2 in an expanded run, and has now brought in more than $115 million in the U.S. alone.

And now, jumping while Indian fever is still the fad of the week, British director Gurinder Chadha is cooking up something that sounds really fun.

Remember her? Before seeming to disappear completely, she directed one of my favorite movies in "Bend It Like Beckham." High art? Perhaps not, but being a soccer movie with a great pop soundtrack and a thoroughly healthy-looking Kiera Knightley gallivanting around in a sports bra for much of the flick, it's just for me the definition of cinematic comfort food. After that she made the somewhat entertaining "Bride & Prejudice" and then, in what always reliable reviewer Emma at All About My Movies called easily one of the worst movies of 2008, something called "Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging."

Now, however it seems she's hopefully getting back on course by turning to - where else? - zombies. She describes "It's a Wonderful Afterlife" as "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" meets "Shaun of the Dead," and Variety says its about what happens when a British-Asian mother's obsession to marry off her daughter leads to serial murder.

That all sounds great to me, but it wouldn't be Monday of "Watchmen" week here if I didn't mention something about the flick that finally arrives Friday, so here it is: I've finally taken the plunge and opted for Imax. I just bought my ticket (for $17?!?!) this morning for the 12:20 p.m. Saturday show, and I can't friggin' wait. And now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get ready for work, where I will at least attempt to do something besides daydream about Dr. Manhattan's voyage to Mars all day long. Peace out.

Who watches the "Watchmen"? Me and you, at least in featurettes

I guess the saddest news out there this Sunday morning is that Paul Harvey has died at age 90, but since I haven't bothered to tune into one of his broadcasts for at least 15 years I really can't pretend to be all that down about it, especially since he was 90 years old after all.

And besides, anyone who's been here in the last month or so knows that, like much of the world, I have just about nothing but "Watchmen" on my brain, and will until at least this weekend.

All I have this morning are these four "Watchmen" featurettes, each focusing on two players in the "Watchmen" realm: 1. Silk Spectre and Dr. Manhattan, 2. Nite Owl and Rohrschach, 3. The Comedian and Ozymandias and 4. Zack Snyder and Dave Gibbons. They're not terribly groundbreaking in any way, but each has entertaining tidbits, including a bit about the technology of creating Dr. Manhattan and Jeffrey Dean Morgan's description of the Comedian's psyche. Enjoy, and have a perfectly lazy Sunday. Peace out.

What's up with the ending to "Watchmen"?

This is just about the farthest thing from news for people who have been following the saga of Zack Snyder's "Watchmen" movie, but I just came across it, so bear with me.

In getting ready for the movie, which in spite of what follows in this post I remain at least cautiously optimistic about, I recently re-read the graphic novel, and can confirm that it's easily as good as I remember. I can also confirm that the ending is just as maddening and simply insane as ever.

Now, if you don't want to know how the graphic novel by Alan Moore and Dave Gibson or - more importantly - the movie coming out March 6 end, READ NO FURTHER. I understand this is easily the worst kind of spoiler imaginable, so please don't read on and then try to claim I didn't warn you. Here goes.

As anyone who has read the graphic novel knows, Adrian Veidt/Ozymandias' plot to change the course of history hinges on creating a giant squid that attacks New York City (yes, again New York City) to fake an alien attack and therefore lead all the nations of Earth to cease their hostilities and unite at the height of the cold war. If you're reading that for the first time, yes it is that crazy.

And Snyder and the folks who came up with the script for the "Watchmen" movie apparently thought this madness was simply too much for casual moviegoers to stomach, and frankly they may be right. I can vividly remember that the first time I read it I had to go over pages two or three times just to make sure I had it right, but that was much of the novel's appeal.

So, what have they changed it to instead? Once again, a final warning, if you don't want to know, DO NOT READ ON FROM THIS POINT.

I have no way of knowing if this is exactly right, but according to
this "Watchmen" site, what Veidt unleashes will actually be a series of attacks designed to mirror the energy beams created by Dr. Manhattan. This may seem a lot more reasonable on the surface, especially if the script keeps Veidt's intent intact, but it raises at least one major question: If Veidt's plan frames Dr. Manhattan (which I can't confirm, mind you), who acts as a weapon for the U.S., how in the world does that work out to an attack from an outside force that can unite the planet?

Snyder certainly didn't do himself any favors when, in the original Dark Horizons interview back in November in which he originally revealed his plan to monkey with the ending, he also added this:

“The fans, god love 'em, they’re all up in arms about the squid,” said Snyder. “What they should be up in arms about are things like shooting the pregnant woman, ‘God is real and he’s American’, whether THAT’S in the movie. That’s my point of view, maybe I’m crazy.”

Well, not crazy, but certainly condescending. How, in the face of all this, can one remain optimistic? It certainly takes a lot of somewhat-blind faith, but there's also visual evidence in the full photo gallery from the film you can view here at Comingsoon.net that things are still mostly on the right track.

There have also been constant video tidbits released along the way, which I've been sharing whenever I find them. The latest is this trailer for the animated "Tales of the Black Freighter" tale that I can only assume winds it way through the "Watchmen" movie on a parallel track as it did in the novel. It will also be released along with Hollis Mason's "Under the Hood" on DVD near the end of March to keep "Watchmen" fever running strong.

Enjoy the trailer, and when it comes to "Watchmen," just try to keep hope alive. Or, if you've now lost any or all of that, please feel free to sound off on what Snyder and co. are up to here. Peace out.

Does Ben Kingsley really deserve this?

I love looking at the Razzies list each year because, even though it's done with a spirit too mean even for me, it reassures me that - despite much evidence to the contrary - I don't see every movie that comes out, just almost every one.

In fact, the only movies on this list that I saw last year were M. Night Shyamalan's "The Happening" and "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull." I can't see any reason for Indy to be here, and now that I look back on it, I had a lot of fun watching M. Night's flick too.

Now, I'm not saying it's not bad, but I conditionally recommend renting it if you - like me - enjoy laughing at just how bad a movie can be. Just a taste: When Marky Mark and his entourage come upon a house full of infected folks who aren't in a particularly good mood, he actually sings a Doobie Brothers tune through a crack in the door to soothe them. I can't make this stuff up.

The only other beef I could possibly have with this list is the inclusion of Sir Ben Kingsley, but I guess after appearing in "The Love Guru" he only has himself to blame. "The Wackness," however is one that's near the top of my Netflix queue right now, and I'm really looking forward to it. Anyways, after seeing who actually gets the Oscar nominations this morning, enjoy these for a good laugh, and scroll to the end for a visit from Dr. Manhattan!

Worst Picture
* Disaster Movie
* The Happening
* The Hottie and the Nottie
* In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale
* The Love Guru
* Meet the Spartans

Worst Actor
* Larry the Cable Guy, Witless Protection
* Eddie Murphy, Meet Dave
* Mike Myers, The Love Guru
* Al Pacino, 88 Minutes and Righteous Kill
* Mark Wahlberg, The Happening and Max Payne

Worst Actress
* Jessica Alba, The Eye and The Love Guru
* The cast of The Women (Annette Bening, Eva Mendes, Debra Messing, Jada Pinkett-Smith and Meg Ryan)
* Cameron Diaz, What Happens in Vegas
* Paris Hilton, The Hottie and the Nottie
* Kate Hudson, Fool's Gold and My Best Friend's Girl

Worst Supporting Actor* Uwe Boll (as himself), Uwe Boll's Postal
* Pierce Brosnan, Mamma Mai!
* Ben Kingsley, The Love Guru and The Wackness
* Burt Reynolds, Deal and In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale
* Verne Troyer, The Love Guru and Uwe Boll's Postal

Worst Supporting Actress
* Carmen Electra, Disaster Movie and Meet the Spartans
* Paris Hilton, Repo: The Genetic Opera
* Kim Kardashian, Disaster Movie
* Jenny McCarthy, Witless Protection
* Leelee Sobieski, 88 Minutes and In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale

Worst Screen Couple
* Uwe Boll and Any Actor, Camera or Screenplay
* Cameron Diaz and Ashton Kutcher, What Happens in Vegas
* Paris Hilton and either Christin Lakin or Joel David Moore, The Hottie and the Nottie
* Larry the Cable Guy and Jenny McCarthy, Witless Protection
* Eddie Murphy and Eddie Murphy, Meet Dave

Worst Prequel, Remake, Rip-Off or Sequel
* The Day the Earth Blowed Up Real Good
* Disaster Movie and Meet the Spartans
* Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
* Speed Racer
* The Clone Wars

Worst Director
* Uwe Boll, 1968: Tunnel Rats, In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale and Uwe Boll's Postal
* Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, Disaster Movie and Meet the Spartans
* Tom Putnam, The Hottie and the Nottie
* Marco Schnabel, The Love Guru
* M. Night Shyamalan, The Happening

Worst Screenplay* Disaster Movie and Meet the Spartans
* The Happening
* The Hottie and the Nottie
* In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale
* The Love Guru

Worst Career Achievement Razzie
* Uwe Boll

A visit from Dr. Manhattan

There's not much I can say about this except that 1) the good Dr. looks more than a little odd in his navy blue tighty-whities, and 2) I'm so happy that "Watchmen" is coming out so early in the year (in early March.) This fairly clever bit of viral marketing went up on this Watchmen site today, and it's here for you to enjoy too. Peace out.