Does Ben Kingsley really deserve this?

I love looking at the Razzies list each year because, even though it's done with a spirit too mean even for me, it reassures me that - despite much evidence to the contrary - I don't see every movie that comes out, just almost every one.

In fact, the only movies on this list that I saw last year were M. Night Shyamalan's "The Happening" and "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull." I can't see any reason for Indy to be here, and now that I look back on it, I had a lot of fun watching M. Night's flick too.

Now, I'm not saying it's not bad, but I conditionally recommend renting it if you - like me - enjoy laughing at just how bad a movie can be. Just a taste: When Marky Mark and his entourage come upon a house full of infected folks who aren't in a particularly good mood, he actually sings a Doobie Brothers tune through a crack in the door to soothe them. I can't make this stuff up.

The only other beef I could possibly have with this list is the inclusion of Sir Ben Kingsley, but I guess after appearing in "The Love Guru" he only has himself to blame. "The Wackness," however is one that's near the top of my Netflix queue right now, and I'm really looking forward to it. Anyways, after seeing who actually gets the Oscar nominations this morning, enjoy these for a good laugh, and scroll to the end for a visit from Dr. Manhattan!

Worst Picture
* Disaster Movie
* The Happening
* The Hottie and the Nottie
* In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale
* The Love Guru
* Meet the Spartans

Worst Actor
* Larry the Cable Guy, Witless Protection
* Eddie Murphy, Meet Dave
* Mike Myers, The Love Guru
* Al Pacino, 88 Minutes and Righteous Kill
* Mark Wahlberg, The Happening and Max Payne

Worst Actress
* Jessica Alba, The Eye and The Love Guru
* The cast of The Women (Annette Bening, Eva Mendes, Debra Messing, Jada Pinkett-Smith and Meg Ryan)
* Cameron Diaz, What Happens in Vegas
* Paris Hilton, The Hottie and the Nottie
* Kate Hudson, Fool's Gold and My Best Friend's Girl

Worst Supporting Actor* Uwe Boll (as himself), Uwe Boll's Postal
* Pierce Brosnan, Mamma Mai!
* Ben Kingsley, The Love Guru and The Wackness
* Burt Reynolds, Deal and In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale
* Verne Troyer, The Love Guru and Uwe Boll's Postal

Worst Supporting Actress
* Carmen Electra, Disaster Movie and Meet the Spartans
* Paris Hilton, Repo: The Genetic Opera
* Kim Kardashian, Disaster Movie
* Jenny McCarthy, Witless Protection
* Leelee Sobieski, 88 Minutes and In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale

Worst Screen Couple
* Uwe Boll and Any Actor, Camera or Screenplay
* Cameron Diaz and Ashton Kutcher, What Happens in Vegas
* Paris Hilton and either Christin Lakin or Joel David Moore, The Hottie and the Nottie
* Larry the Cable Guy and Jenny McCarthy, Witless Protection
* Eddie Murphy and Eddie Murphy, Meet Dave

Worst Prequel, Remake, Rip-Off or Sequel
* The Day the Earth Blowed Up Real Good
* Disaster Movie and Meet the Spartans
* Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
* Speed Racer
* The Clone Wars

Worst Director
* Uwe Boll, 1968: Tunnel Rats, In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale and Uwe Boll's Postal
* Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, Disaster Movie and Meet the Spartans
* Tom Putnam, The Hottie and the Nottie
* Marco Schnabel, The Love Guru
* M. Night Shyamalan, The Happening

Worst Screenplay* Disaster Movie and Meet the Spartans
* The Happening
* The Hottie and the Nottie
* In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale
* The Love Guru

Worst Career Achievement Razzie
* Uwe Boll

A visit from Dr. Manhattan

There's not much I can say about this except that 1) the good Dr. looks more than a little odd in his navy blue tighty-whities, and 2) I'm so happy that "Watchmen" is coming out so early in the year (in early March.) This fairly clever bit of viral marketing went up on this Watchmen site today, and it's here for you to enjoy too. Peace out.

"Hancock": A tale of three movies, none of them any good

Well, I guess it had to happen eventually. After a summer in which I've liked just about everything I've seen since "Iron Man" (with the caveat that I simply skipped several flicks on general principle), I've finally found a true stinker in "Hancock."

I mean, even M. Night's "The Happening" kept me laughing throughout at just how bad it is in stretches and therefore, I must confess, made me enjoy watching it a lot more than I could have possibly expected, but this one is just a lifeless - and pretty much soulless - creation.

I suppose my opinion doesn't matter too much since Will Smith+the Fourth of July still=mad money in the bank ($41.3 million BEFORE the actual holiday), but that doesn't mean I won't sound off anyway.

So, who's to blame for making this an almost singularly unwatchable mess? There's plenty to go around, but it has to start at the top with Mr. Smith himself this time.

I've had my bones to pick with him through the years, but I never really thought it would come down to him not being enough of an asshole to make a movie work.

However, after spending his entire career crafting his image as the black guy so nice that even the late Jesse Helms (sorry, but he's on my brain after reading his obituary) might invite him home to dinner, he simply doesn't have the edge - no matter how hard he tries - to play a character as innately unlikable as the seriously flawed hero "Hancock." So what you get is Will Smith walking around looking surly for 90 minutes or so, telling all the jokes you've already heard in the trailer and no more of any note. What a waste.

I suppose I would have been able to forgive this if director Peter Berg and writers Vincent Ngo and Vince Gilligan had been able to choose which direction they wanted to go in with this one. Either unable or unwilling to turn the once-promising premise into a real satire on the nature of heroes and our expectations of them, they instead let the movie just get more and more boring as Hancock is rehabilitated, until it reaches a "twist" ending that will just make you want to scream "wtf!" at the screen (I managed to refrain, but it took a whole lot of self-control!)

It certainly felt like they just reached a point where, after putting together 70 minutes or so of footage that goes absolutely nowhere, they all huddled and came up with the most ludicrous way possible to bring this to its mercifully quick end (though sequels are definitely already on the way.)

Jason Bateman does his best to wrest some laughs from his part as Hancock's PR man, and indeed succeeds at a few points, but he's just fighting a losing battle here. Charlize Theron, however, just looked even more confused by this maddening flick than I was.

And, as much as it pains my heart to say it, Berg's direction here is almost as bad as the story itself. Unsure where to point his camera at many points, he simply lets it spin around at least 360 degrees, never for any apparent reason. And lest anyone who's never been here before think I just had it in for "Hancock" from the start, that's simply untrue. I have nothing but love for Berg's "Friday Night Lights" and even more so the nearly perfect TV show that followed in it wake. But "Hancock" is simply an awful movie from start to finish.

Even so, there are surely great things to come very soon in superhero land, with Guillermo del Toro's "Hellboy II: The Golden Army" coming next week and then a little movie you may have heard of called "The Dark Knight" right after that, so keep hope alive. Peace out.

What in the world ever happened to Cameron Crowe?

There are really few movies in the world I loathe more than Cameron Crowe's "Elizabethtown."

Now, obviously, I'm not saying by any objective standard that that semi-autobiographical rom-com is one of the worst movies ever made, because it clearly isn't. But I only reserve the word "hate" for films from directors from whom I expect a whole lot but really let me down. Therefore, you'll probably never hear me use it for a Uwe Boll movie (unless I ever bother to see "Postal"), but there's a very good chance you might hear it this weekend for M. Night Shyamalan if he disappoints again with "The Happening."

(If I can digress just a bit about that, does anyone else find it ominous that the only way they can find to promote "The Happening" in commercials is that it will be Shyamalan's "first R-rated movie"? SFW!?!?)

OK, I'm back. My rather circuitous point here is that I used to have tons of love for Cameron Crowe. I just love movies that make heroes out of possibly the most inappropriately loathed workers in the world - journalists - so I just adore "Almost Famous," probably beyond any rational amount it might deserve. I also have tons of time for "Say Anything," and of course he also wrote the timeless "Fast Times at Ridgemont High." So I certainly welcome any news of a Cameron Crowe comeback to wash away the rather bitter taste of "Elizabethtown," even if the details so far are very scarce.

Now comes word that he's apparently completed the script for an as-yet-untitled romantic comedy and signed on to direct it for Columbia Pictures, with Reese Witherspoon and Ben Stiller set to star.

I still like Stiller quite a bit when he's not starring in movies for either himself or the Farrelly brothers, and have nothing but love for Reese, so here's hoping this will be a return to top form for the formerly-fairly-great Mr. Crowe. Stay tuned for details as soon as I get them.

What will the new "Muppet Movie" look like?

Although I found Jason Segel's "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" to be a bit of a letdown, there's no denying that that "Dracula" puppet show he put on at the end was a classic. And, luckily, the Henson folks took notice too and have handed him and bud Nick Stoller the rights to make a new "Muppet Movie."

But just what will that mean? Will it be a good, old-fashioned Muppets flick suitable for all audiences? I certainly hope so, and from what Segel recently had to say to IESB.net, he does to. Here's some of what he had to say.

IESB: Is Sam the Eagle in it?

JS: Sam the Eagle is definitely in it. Statler and Waldorf - the whole gang!

IESB: Can you tell us a little bit about the story, which way you are headed with the MUPPETS?

JS: All I can say is that we are trying to bring it back to the early '80s movies where it's not Muppets in the Sahara or Muppets Underwater. It's the Muppets getting back together to put on a show, to save the studio.

IESB: No Pigs in Space?

JS: I can't give that away.

IESB: And the hope is to stay 100% traditional with the Muppets right?

JS: Oh yeah, absolutely.

IESB: No CGI Muppets or some horseshit.

JS: No, no, no. Hopefully it will fall right in the pantheon of The Great Muppet Caper, Muppets Take Manhattan, Muppet Movie, you know, we're trying to make one of those.

IESB: You said you had written something for Charles Grodin?

JS: Yeah, a brief cameo. We'll see if he wants to do it. There are some great cameos in there.

You can read the rest of the interview here.

Well, I was already fairly confident this flick was in the right hands, but now I'm sure. Here's hoping Segel - who said he just turned in his first draft of the script to his corporate handlers - is able to follow through on this and get the movie he, and all the rest of us, really want.

A new trailer for "Valkyrie"

If I'm not mistaken (as I definitely sometimes am), Bryan Singer's "Valkyrie" was first set to hit theaters, well, right about now. For whatever reason, and hopefully none of them terribly bad, it's now been pushed back until at least Feb. 13, 2009.

Which has made it fairly easy to forget all about what should be a more-than-fairly-cool flick. Personally, I'm still eager to see it, 'cause I'm always amped for a good World War II flick (especially Spike Lee's "Miracle at St. Anna," set to drop Sept. 26), and one that features a reteaming of the "Usual Suspects" team of Singer and Christopher McQuarrie with a plot to assassinate Hitler is right up my alley.

Anyways, here's the latest trailer, which indeed looks pretty intriguing. Enjoy, and have a perfectly pleasant Tuesday. Peace out.

Surprise ... Spike Lee sounds off at Cannes

I love Spike Lee, even when he's just horribly wrong, because the man is never, ever boring.

At Cannes to promote his upcoming World War II flick "Miracle at St. Anna," Spike couldn't help but take swipes at some big-time fellow directors, the Coen brothers and Clint Eastwood.

When it comes to the Coens, however, I had to think back through all their movies before deciding he's just dead wrong. Here's what Mr. Lee had to say about their body of work:

"I always treat life and death with respect, but most people don't. Look, I love the Coen brothers; we all studied at NYU. But they treat life like a joke. Ha ha ha. A joke. It's like, 'Look how they killed that guy! Look how blood squirts out the side of his head!' I see things different than that."

Wow. Now, the Coens have certainly, and thankfully, made their share of very funny comedies, but I don't think they've ever made death a joke. Now, they do make it a very stylish occurrence and, yes, do sometimes revel in the bloodiness of it, but if anything "No Country for Old Men" was the best meditation on violence and death I've seen in many, many years.

But, Spike being Spike, he wasn't finished yet, and saved his most savage (and accurate!) critique for Mr. Eastwood. Here goes:

"Clint Eastwood made two films about Iwo Jima that ran for more than four hours total and there was not one Negro actor on the screen. If you reporters had any balls you'd ask him why. There's no way I know why he did that -- that was his vision, not mine. But I know it was pointed out to him and that he could have changed it. It's not like he didn't know."

Amen, brother. I really had no time at all beyond the performance of Adam Beach for Clint's "Flags of Our Fathers," but I really liked "Letters from Iwo Jima" quite a bit. That said, Spike is right, and I'm happy someone has the huevos to point it out in such a significant forum.

As for "Miracle at St. Anna," Spike said it's in the final stages of post-production and will be complete by the end of July, hopefully for a very wide release on Oct. 10. The flick, for anyone who doesn't know yet, is about four African-American Buffalo soldiers of the 92nd Infantry Division - Derek Luke (huzzah!), Michael Ealy, Laz Alonso and Omar Benson Miller - who get trapped in a a small Tuscan village on the Gothic Line during the Italian Campaign of World War II. It also stars James Gandolfini, John Leguizamo, Kerry Washington and Joseph Gordon Levitt (another huzzah!), hopefully giving it enough star power to reach my little corner of the world this fall.

Steve Buscemi in 'Revolt'

With Michael Cera set to star in the adaptation of one of my favorite books, I already had my eyes squarely on any news about "Youth in Revolt," and there's a lot of the good kind about it today.

For director Miguel Arteta ("Chuck and Buck"), Cera will play the sex-obsessed hero Nick Twisp, 14 in the book but assumedly a little older when this finally hits movie theaters in December. Now, in some fantastic casting news, he's being joined by Steve Buscemi as Nick's violent and status-obsessed loser of a father, George Twisp, and Ray Liotta, who plays a rather fascist member of the Oakland PD who shacks up with Nick's mom. Jean Smart and M. Emmet Walsh have also signed on, but I'm not sure as of yet to do exactly what. Still to be cast is Sheeni Saunders, the teen temptress who wins Nick's heart.

The book by C.D. Payne is one of the silliest I've ever read, but still holds a high place in my heart, so here's hoping this all turns out as funny and crazy as it should be.

"The Happening" trailer

What exactly makes this a redband trailer I have no idea, but it does hold the promise that director M. Night Shyamalan will get back to top form when "The Happening" comes out in July. I certainly hope he delivers a winner, but now I've got to hurry and get to work. Peace out.

The joys of summer: 10 to definitely get geeked up for

Instead of using this space to announce my personal multiplex boycott (which will only last about a week and a half anyways), I've decided to keep things positive and future-oriented here today. Besides, the friggin Baltimore Orioles are 6-1, so what could really be so wrong with the world at this moment?

Now, two things you won't see in my summer 2008 preview are any movies directed by Fred Durst (he actually has one coming out in July called "The Comebacks") because, well, he's Fred Durst, or - despite its obvious primal charms - Anna Faris' turn as a Playboy bunny in "House Bunny" on Aug. 22. (But, as you can clearly see, I have rather crassly included - in honor of both summer and, well, Anna Faris - a picture of her in character.)

Unfortunately, you also won't see any little comedies with the potential charms of a "Waitress" or "Little Miss Sunshine," not because I don't want them but simply because I couldn't find them. If you know of any I'm missing, please let me know. One more disclaimer: I'm really looking forward to "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" on April 18, but since this is about summer, I've restricted this preview to May to August.

And now, without any further hesitation, are 10 movies I surely won't miss seeing this summer, in order of just how unreasonably geeked up for each I am (and in a few cases, the trailers too.)

10. Redbelt
If you're gonna make yet another movie about the world of underground fighting, do you really cast Tim Allen in one of the leads? Two things in this one's favor, though: The truly great Chiwetel Ejiofor is the badass at the flick's center, and it springs from the mind of David Mamet who, oddly enough, is apparently a purple belt in jujitsu himself. I sure hope this plays wide when it opens May 2 and kicks off Summer with a real bang. (The trailer is below.)



9. The Happening
No one is more in need of a winner than poor M. Night Shyamalan, and I, at least, am hoping he gets it with this one. Mark Wahlberg, Zooey Deschanel and the always-welcome John Leguizamo lead the cast in this "environmental thriller" which, as far as I can muster, is about some kind of force that leads people to commit suicide. Man, do I hope this doesn't just suck when it comes out June 19.

8. Hellboy II: The Golden Army
This one should be pretty fascinating, if I indeed have my plot summary right. Instead of taking on Nazis, according to Mike Mignola, this time Ron Perlman, Selma Blair and the crew will be taking on some crazy version of the American Indian who - and can you really blame them? - have gotten their hands on a nuclear weapon or some other silliness and turned on the gringos. I can't see myself really cheering against Indians, but man do I love me some Hellboy, so I'll be there July 11. (The trailer is below.)



7. Iron Man
The more I see of this one the more I'm convinced that Robert Downey Jr. really does have the chops to play our hero May 2 and turn this one into a franchise. Director Jon Favreau has plans to make it at least a trilogy, and you can look for Downey just about everywhere this summer, turning up as Tony Stark again in "The Incredible Hulk" on June 19 and in black face for "Tropic Thunder" on July 11.

6. X-Files 2
Chris Carter said he has struggled to come up with a better title for this one, but I'll be there no matter what it's called July 25. The plot, of course, is pretty tightly under wraps, but I do know that - unlike the rather disastrous first X-Files flick - this one will spring almost directly from one of the show's late storylines (possibly about Scully's offspring), so it should be great.

5. Pineapple Express
Anyone who knows me knows that I hold comedy in extremely high esteem, so you'll find two in the big five, starting with this Camp Apatow offering starring former "Geeks" James Franco and Seth Rogen. Frankly, I can take or leave stoner comedies, but judging from the trailer below this one should definitely provide some serious laughs on August 8.



4. The Rocker
I had forgotten all about this one, but since it stars comedy god Rainn Wilson I'm certainly hoping its almost as funny as it is sure to be simply silly on Aug. 1. Wilson is Robert "Fish" Fishman, the devoted drummer who gets kicked out of the '80s hair band Vesuvius. Twenty years later, he jumps at the chance to make his comeback in A.D.D., the high school rock band fronted by his nephew. If something in that doesn't make you laugh, I probably just can't help you.

3. Wall-E
OK, it's only the big guns from here on out. I don't think Pixar's latest offering will reach the lofty perch that "Ratatouille" holds in my heart, but here's hoping anyway. I do know that it will be an odd offering, with a lot of none-too-subtle preaching about environmentalism and the dangers of Wal-Mart, plus an opening half-hour with no human dialogue at all. Find out if it works or not June 27. (The trailer is below.)



2. "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull"
It was a photo finish at the top, but in the end, I'm just not as excited about Harrison Ford's return to his most famous role as I am about the flick that nabbed the top spot on this list. Now, mind you, I will, assuming there is one, turn out for a midnight show when this opens May 22 (the day after my birthday!), and will hopefully cheer like a giddy kid at least once.

1. "The Dark Knight"
In spite of the tough competition from "Indy," this one was really a no-brainer for me. Either I've managed to tune it out or Warner Bros. has actually resisted the urge to crassly use the late Heath Ledger to market Christopher Nolan's flick. Besides, with a definite step up from Katie Holmes to Maggie Gyllenhaal as Rachel Dawes and the addition of Aaron Eckhart as Harvey Dent, I really don't see any possible way this one can suck on July 18.

So, there you have it. Please feel free to add any I have missed, and have a perfectly pleasant Wednesday. Peace out.

New hope for an "Arrested Development" movie

Although there's definitive movement afoot regarding a possible end to the WGA strike, for fans of a certain dead TV show there also have been talks of a different kind going on that could generate something unbelievably cool (or perhaps incredibly disappointing, but here's hoping not.)

According to E!'s Kristin Vine, who rarely gets things wrong, Jason Bateman, who has been talking up this rather amazing possibility nonstop, has revealed that "AD" gurus Mitchell Hurwitz and Ron Howard have launched the project with new vigor and contacted all the major cast members to measure their interest in a flick.

"I can confirm that a round of sniffing has started," Bateman says. "Any talk is targeting a poststrike situation, of course. I think, as always, that it's a question of whether the people with the money are willing to give our leader, Mitch Hurwitz, what he deserves for his participation. And I can speak for the cast when I say our fingers are crossed."

How she knows this I have no idea, but Vine also claims that Universal is very interested in backing this if it ever comes together. And, since Jeffrey Tambor is about to have his second post-"AD" sitcom, "The Captain," cancelled very quickly (I predict, anyway) and none of the "AD" cast members except Bateman can seem to find good movies to star in, I'd imagine everyone would be eager to get going on this as soon as possible.

Even with all this buzz this is still just a rumor, but here's hoping it becomes a very welcome reality.

Is "Dr. Parnassus" alive and well?

Speaking of rumors, I've heard a lot of them about how Heath Ledger's death will impact Terry Gilliam's "The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus," but have tried to stay away from them until something official is announced.

The craziest idea I've heard is that, since Ledger's character had the ability to transform himself with different appearances as he went down the different paths in Dr. Parnassus' contraption, a variety of actors could be used to augment what they were able to shoot with the late Mr. Ledger.

That would indeed be a crazy kind of tribute, but later today we may get to have some kind of official word. Though it's not live yet, a Web site for the movie is set to go on line later today, so click here and see if it actually does, and if it offers any more clues about this rather murky mess.

Finally, a biopic I can get behind

Maybe it's because he grew up in Maryland or just because the Muppets are so friggin cool, but for whatever reason I've always had an inordinate amount of love for Jim Henson and just about everything he put his hands on.

And now he's about to get the proper tribute he definitely deserves. Empire Film Group, Inc. has acquired the motion picture production and distribution rights to Henson, an original screenplay by Robert D. Slane that chronicles the life and achievements of the Muppets creator. Empire has pegged the film for production in late summer with a $30 million budget.

None of this can be called bad news, but who would you pick to play the puppetmaster? For my money there couldn't be a better choice than Jeff Daniels. What do you think?

A teaser for M. Night's "Happening"

Even though "The Village" and even moreso "Lady in the Water" can easily find homes on any list of the worst movies I've ever seen, I'm still holding out hope for a M. Night Shymalan comeback with "The Happening." As you can see from this teaser, there's some pretty creepy stuff going on in the flick set for release this summer. Enjoy, and have a perfectly bearable Tuesday. And, of course, if you live in a Super Tuesday state, vote (as I'm going to do for Barack Obama as soon as I wrap this up)! Peace out.