Catching up with some news and clips

Many of these things may have indeed happened while I was on vacation with mi hermano in New York and Philly, but they're all fascinating to me, so if you want to, please feel free to read on.

Easily the best news, and fresh I think, is that HBO has set the return dates for two of my favorite TV comedies, and is in fact packaging them back to back this September. "Bored to Death" and "Eastbound & Down" will indeed premiere as a block beginning at 10 p.m. Sept. 26, and I can only say bring it on.

If you've never seen "Bored to Death," and I'm sure there's many more than a few of you who haven't, I really can't recommend many TV comedies higher. The show from novelist Jonathan Ames (if you haven't read his "Wake Up, Sir!", do so right away) is about a struggling writer (Jason Schwartzman) who decides to list himself as a private eye on Craig's List. As he goes on various misadventures in New York City, he's often joined by co-star Zach Galifianakis and, even better, Ted Danson, who steals every minute he's in as a crazed magazine editor.

"Eastbound & Down," from the Southern-fried comedy shop of Jody Hill and friends, is a more bitter pill to swallow, but in its own way almost as funny. At the end of season one, Danny McBride's Kenny Powers had burned all his bridges in his pathetic attempt to return to the big leagues as a pitcher, and if I'm not mistaken, the new season will at least in part have him hurling in Mexico. That should be a hoot, so if you've never seen this little odd show, give it a chance.

In another bit of TV news, though I'm now thoroughly convinced there will never be an "Arrested Development" movie, two of its funniest actors will be reuniting on creator Mitch Hurwitz's new show, "Running Wilde," starting Sept. 20 on Fox.)

In the show, Gob Bluth plays a rich callow dude (sound familiar?) who falls in love with a crusading environmentalist played by Keri Russell. And now comes word that in a casting change, the extremely funny David Cross will play a radical environmentalist who competes for her affections for at least seven episodes. Nothing but funny there (or at least here's hoping, because Hurwitz's last show, "Sit Down, Shut Up," was just a flaming turd.)

And finally, both because this is nominally supposed to be about movies and because I love Sam Raimi at his best, he's attached to direct something that could be all kinds of fun (and I'm not talking about that "Oz" prequel, which even with Robert Downey Jr. as the wiz himself should just be terminated with extreme prejudice.)

After that, I suppose, Raimi has set his sights on adapting the graphic novel "Earp: Saints for Sinners," from a script by the novel's author, Matt Cirulnick. As the title implies, this would indeed be about the Western hero Wyatt Earp, but transport him into a future in which he takes on outlaws in a ravaged society where the only boomtown left is Las Vegas. Now, having sat through "Spider-Man 3" I know Raimi can fall as much as anyone, but this just sounds like fun to me.

OK, from here on out it's all about clips, the first two of which come directly from Roger Ebert's newsletter, which really is a must-read if you love movies (and at $4 a year, it's a real steal too.)

First up comes the first proof that this fall and winter are going to be all about James Franco, and as a devoted "Freaks and Geeks" fan, that's just fine by me. Later, in December (I think), he'll star in Danny Boyle's next flick, "127 Hours," as mountain climber Aron Ralston, who became trapped while climbing in Utah and had to go to desperate measures to survive. You can count that as one of the very few flicks I'm most looking forward to for the rest of the year, but before that, on Sept. 24 if you live in one of America's bigger cities, you'll be able to see him as the poet Allen Ginsberg in "Howl." Here, courtesy of the Ebert crew, is the first trailer I know of. Enjoy.



I thoroughly enjoyed Ben Affleck's directing debut with "Gone Baby Gone," so you can certainly count me as psyched for his sophomore effort, "The Town," based on the novel "Prince of Thieves" by Chuck Hogan and set to come out Sept. 10. The rather stellar cast includes Gossip Girl Blake Lively, Jeremy Renner, Reel Fanatic fave Rebecca Hall, Jon Hamm and Chris Cooper in a Boston flick about a bank robber and his contacts with the FBI, amorous, contentious and otherwise (sounds more than a little like "Out of Sight," which is fine with me.) Enjoy the first trailer I know of.



Next up comes the first American trailer for Woody Allen's "You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger," which, even with the awful narration that also was the only blemish on his sublime "Vicky Cristina Barcelona," looks like it should be another winner. The cast includes, Josh Brolin, Naomi Watts, Anthony Hopkins, Antonio Banderas and the simply stunning Freida Pinto, so we at least know there will be a lot of pretty people, hopefully doing very funny work when this comes out (and hopefully everywhere) Sept. 22. Enjoy the trailer.

And where better to finish up today than with more silliness from the Muppets? We'll have to wait until Christmas 2011 for the new Muppet movie, "The Greatest Muppet Movie Ever Made," being cooked up by Jason Segel, Nicholas Stoller and James Bobin. In the meantime, thankfully, Jim Henson's creations keep popping up in new YouTube creations like this latest clip of the Swedish chef cooking up some popcorn shrimp, with predictably disastrous results. Enjoy the clip, and have perfectly passable Wednesday. Peace out.

Twin Peaks 2.0? Not hardly, but not awful either

ABC has indeed released the first 14 minutes of its upcoming take on oddity called "Happy Town," and while it is truly more than a little insulting to release this on or very near to the 20th anniversary of David Lynch's TV masterpiece, it's actually better than I thought it would be.

But more on that at the end. First up comes news from David Cross that's sure to upset "Arrested Development" fans, but considering all the bulls*** we've been fed about an "AD" movie, I really don't think you can blame him for being probably the much more realistic messenger. Here's what he had to say to TVsquad.com:

"(I)t's not going to happen. Way too much time it's been (since the show ended). I mean, there's so many people involved. Everyone's doing their own thing, you know. And everybody's aged. It's just not going to happen. I'm sure I speak for everybody when I say we'd love for it to happen, we'd love to work on it, but just I don't think ... not going to happen."

Unfortunately, everything he had to say there makes a lot of sense. So consider the idea dead at least for now, but in the meantime remember that series co-creators Mitch Hurwitz and James Vallely are set to return to Fox (I believe) next fall, with Gob Bluth in tow. Will Arnett is indeed to co-star in "Wilde Kingdom" as what sounds a whole lot like his "Arrested Development" character, a dude who falls for a do-gooder played by Felicity herself, Keri Russell. Even though "Sit Down Shut Up" was just the epitome of awful, I'm still betting this will be a winner.

After that today, it's all about stylish horror, both in the form of a new film from Juan Carlos Fresnadillo and a truly creepy visit from Werner Herzog.

First up the Fresnadillo news. If you saw what he did with "28 Weeks Later," a far more visceral affair than its predecessor, "28 Days Later," you know the man has a talent for directing great horror flicks. And now comes word that he's signed on to direct something called "Intruders," which will star Clive Owen and Daniel Bruhl, a.k.a. the "Nation's Pride" from Quentin Tarantino's "Inglourious Basterds."

All that's known so far about the story is that it will be about an 11-year-old girl who is battling demons of some kind, but given the man's track record (he also directed the seriously satisfying Spanish thriller "Intacto"), this is definitely one to keep your eyes on.

And in something more immediate but at least as creepy, director Werner Herzog has taken a little time to put his own twisted spin on "Curious George," and since it was easily the funniest thing I found this morning, it's well worth a listen. If you like this, I believe he does his own take on "Madeline," too, which should be easy enough to find. My favorite line here has to be "George quickly learns a hard lesson about desire," but it's really all good. Enjoy.



OK, finally, though nothing can really properly follow that, ABC has indeed put the first 14 minutes of its upcoming series "Happy Town" online, and if the purpose was to get me to keep watching, mission accomplished, I suppose. It's not great, but it will apparently star "Angel" vet Amy Acker, never a bad thing, and the story about a mysterious killer does seem to hold some promise, even if the obvious attempt to emulate the magic of "Twin Peaks" is most likely going to be a constant annoyance. Anyways, enjoy, and have a great weekend. Peace out.

Video proof positive that David Cross really is just about the funniest man on Earth

You know, as those "Pirates" movies keep getting weirder I just lose more and more interest, but Rob Marshall, director of the upcoming "Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides," has at least come up with one thing to get me intrigued.

Ian McShane, Al Swearengen himself, is about to sign to to play Blackbeard, the legendary pirate who piloted the ship Queen Anne's Revenge. With Penelope Cruz already on board as a definite case of trading up from Keira Knightley, I think that just might be enough to get me to buy a ticket for this.

And in another bit of news that interests me (and life's frankly just too short to spend any time on things that don't), details are starting to emerge on just what "Gilmore Girls" creator Amy Sherman-Palladino is cooking up now for the CW.

Yes, I realize I'm far too old to watch this stuff, but at its rare and best (as with "Gilmore Girls"), the station occasionally offers shows that cater to folks over the age of 15, which will hopefully be the case with this. "The Wyoming Project," which needs to start by getting a better name very soon, will star someone named Sean Faris as a 22-year-old dude who inherits a Wyoming ranch and the custody of his three younger sisters. What made "Gilmore Girls" so great was the keen eye for familial relations combined with a genuinely quirky sense of place, so here's hoping she can do at least something close to that magic this time around.

And after that today, all I have left is the first episode, in its entirety, of something Spike Jonze and David Cross teamed up to create for British TV. If that sounds like a dream team to you, than you're with me, and as you'll see from this trio of YouTube clips containing the first episode of "The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret," they don't disappoint.

I'm not sure what British network this is on, but be warned, whichever one it is certainly isn't afraid of profanity, which spews from the mouth of Will Arnett, who also stars in this, almost as freely as it did from Peter Capaldi's Malcolm Tucker in "In the Loop." Definitely watch this with headphones if you're at work, and have a perfectly pleasant Tuesday. Peace out.

Tyler Perry and Buster Bluth in Macon? Yes, really

Before I get into any of that, today, Natalie Portman, Jane Austen and zombies? Yeah, I'll be there.

When you set out to write a book called "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies," you're really setting yourself up for a fall, because, well, who can deliver on a premise that good? Well, having read the book, I can tell you that Seth Grahame-Smith - with, of course, a big assist from Jane Austen - certainly did, because the book is a hoot.

And now it seems that Natalie Portman has signed to both produce and star as our zombie-fighting heroine Elizabeth Bennet in a movie version. That makes me giddy just writing it. Now, if they just could make zombies the new vampires, the world would certainly be a much better place.

And only something that good could knock this (admittedly somewhat old, but if you live here, still intriguing) news from the lead: Tyler Perry is coming to Macon (if anything deserves an exclamation point, that's it, but I just really don't like them.)

Yes, Madea herself will be taking to the stage at the Macon Centreplex on Feb. 9 as Perry unveils a new stage play, "Madea's Big Happy Family." As is the course with his ventures, I'm sure that if the audience eats this up it will become one of his movies someday soon.

Unfortunately, the tickets are rather insanely expensive, starting at $47.50 and ranging up to $77.50 - a little too rich for my blood, especially with the tickets on sale right before Christmas. I encourage anyone who can afford to, however, to check out this opportunity. Tickets (if there are indeed any left) are available at www.maconcentreplex or by calling (478) 751-9232.

In another Macon event that's much more within my budget and just as dear to my heart, the name just sums it up perfectly: "The Best of Buster Bluth with Tony Hale."

"Arrested Development" fans (and if you're not one, why not?) will certainly know what that means. It seems that Tony's parents live in Macon, and he's agreed to host this event at the Cox Capitol Theatre to benefit the Macon Film & Video Festival. At 8 p.m. Friday, Dec. 18, he'll be screening his three favorite "Arrested Development" episodes, and then take questions from the audience (and one of them, perhaps from me, will surely be about the alluring possibility of an "AD" movie.)

And best of all, it's only $10, which doesn't count the couple of beers I'll consume during all this goodness.

And in a final bit of Macon news, the Macon Film Guild is showing a movie this Sunday that I've been waiting for most of the year to see, "Cold Souls" (which of course means I'll have to work that day, and not be able to go ... shark farts.) Paul Giamatti stars as an actor who, tired of his daily existence, jumps at the opportunity to have his soul removed. It's when he later decides he wants it back that the apparently very clever fun from writer/director Sophie Barthes really gets going.

For those who will actually be able to go, and I encourage anyone who loves good movies to do so, the showings are at 2, 5 and 7:30 p.m. Sunday at the Douglass Theatre in downtown Macon.

Finally, since I know a great number of the few people who bother to read this don't live anywhere near Macon, I'll leave you today with a couple of video clips that caught my eye this morning.

The first, also related directly to "Arrested Development," is, as best as I can tell, the opening for a pilot called "The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret" that's being pitched for the UK's Channel 4. The premise it sets up - David Cross navigating the high-speed world of modern London - is great, and as you can see from the clip, it's also got Will Arnett at his blustery best. Enjoy, and if you're watching this at work, for God's sake do it with headphones on, because the language is more than a bit salty.



And what could be better than that? Six minutes of "Chuck," of course. The first half finale of "Glee" was indeed, as my friend and boss of sorts Stephanie Hartley says, "gleetastic," but now that most shows have gone dark for December, there's nothing I'm looking forward to more on TV than the return of our favorite bumbling now-apparently-super spy.

NBC has upped the season three order from 13 to 19 episodes, and the show is set to return with a two-hour episode Sunday, Jan. 10, before settling into its regular Monday night slot with another hour the next night. Great news all of that, and just to what your appetite a little further, here's a six-minute preview of season three from NBC, which shows some of Chuck's new skills and that, thankfully, all our Buy More buds (including Tony Hale) will be making a return too. Enjoy the clip, and have a perfectly enjoyable Thursday. Peace out.

Comedy catch-up: A look at "Role Models"

Like the songs says, I'm a "Simple Man" in many ways, so it doesn't take much to make me have a pretty great day.

First, the mighty Maryland Terrapins man up in the closing minutes to vanquish the Golden Bears of California, and the Turtle is now ready and willing to maul those Memphis Tigers. I can't wait to watch that Saturday afternoon.

Then after that I sat down to watch "Role Models," a truly crude comedy that I had just passed on in theaters but was loaned to me now by my cubicle mate Randy Waters, who usually has reliably good taste (though he couldn't get into "Chuck," so there is that caveat.)

And what I found with "Role Models" was a series of almost completely satisfying surprises. I knew going in that it would star veryfunnypeople Paul Rudd, Elizabeth Banks and Jane Lynch. Also Stifler and McLovin, both of whom I can only take in small doses.

What I didn't expect, however, was that it would at least partially be a reunion of "The State," and even better capture much of the spirit that made that show so deliriously funny. Remember "The State"? Being a certified old fuddy-duddy I can testify that the comedy troupe show that lasted for 29 episodes from 1993-95 was the last time I bothered to tune into any MTV series in its entirety.

"Role Models," it turns out, was directed by "State" vet David Wain, and co-written by Rudd and "State"-er Ken Marino. And along with Marino, the flick stars fellow "State" funnypeople Keri Kenney-Silver and Joe Lo Truglio, who can make me laugh out loud with just a look.

The second surprising thing "Role Models" has going for it is that, like the best Christopher Guest flicks, it throws you into a weird world and treats it with humorous respect, laughing with and sometimes at its players, but never cruelly mocking.

And that world for "Role Models" is LARP, or Live Action Role Playing. If that doesn't make you laugh at least a little already, you should probably just stay away from this one, in which Lo Truglio, Matt Walsh and most of all Ken Jeong as King Argotron dive completely into the madness this presents and wring just about all the comedy you can out of it (Rudd "killing" Walsh's Davith of Glencracken on the battlefield but then going into overkill was just particularly funny.)

Now, "Role Models" isn't a comedy for all tastes. It's consistently crude, and the opening bit about pimping energy drinks to kids, while making a point, wears thin too fast. And young Bobb'e J. Thompson will certainly test your tolerance for hearing kids spew the most profane of profanity throughout (I however, no matter how old I supposedly get, will always find that funny, and I did here.) The world also could certainly survive without any more Kiss jokes. All that said, however, if you just passed on "Role Models" in theaters like I did, take a chance on it now and I think you'll find a genuine laugher with just enough heart.

And speaking of funny, I'll close today with the new (I think) trailer for Harold Ramis' "The Year One," which is set to drop in the middle of June. Like "Tropic Thunder" I think this one will certainly try the nerves of people for whom a little Jack Black goes a very long way, but I'm really looking forward to it. Rudd and David Cross as Cane and Abel, in particular, should just be a hoot. Enjoy, and have a perfectly pleasant weekend. Peace out.

One thing you definitely will see during tonight's Super Bowl

First off, ahearty huzzah to Danny Boyle, who was the big winner at last night's Directors Guild of America awards for "Slumdog Millionaire." Unless "Milk" somehow pulls an upset, this sets up a big Oscar night coming for Boyle and friends, and that would certainly be fine with me.

And today I'm off to see "Taken" before going to watch the Super Bowl with some good friends of mine (and I made one of my very favorite dishes, Holly Clegg's crispy Southwestern lasagna.)

Along with the football, of course, the ads get almost as much attention, and this year there will be a lot of spots for movies. A lot of them ("Land of the Lost"!?!?) I couldn't care less about, but one, Harold Ramis' "The Year One," is definitely worth staying in your seat for.

With Ramis writing and directing his first flick since "Analyze That" (OK, not the best of movies), this is certainly a reason for comedy fans to celebrate. Jack Black, Michael Cera, Paul Rudd and David Cross all make an appearance in the clip below, and many other funny people will be on board for the tale of two hunters (Black and Cera) roaming the earth in biblical times. Black has promised something in the style of "Monty Python's Life of Brian," and while I'm sure it can't meet that high standard, I'm still betting this is going to be very funny.

Enjoy the Super Bowl spot and the big game itself. Monday morning I have friggin' jury duty for the first time in my life, so if anyone has any legal strategies to get out of it, please let me know!

Where are they now: The cast of "Arrested Development"

The inspiration for this post comes from Jason Bateman, who is on quite a roll of late.

Friday, of course, he'll star in "The Kingdom," which I'm looking forward to if only because it's directed by Peter Berg, in whom I have full faith. It looks like a pretty standard political thriller, but I'm still holding out hope that it will turn out to be more than that.

And this morning comes word, in French from the great froggy film site Cinempire.com, so bear with me, that he's joined the cast of Kevin MacDonald's next flick, "State of Play." Based on the British miniseries of the same name, it also stars Edward Norton and a certain actor you may have heard of named Brad Pitt.

Norton will play a police deputy who's charged with investigating the death of a politician's mistress, Pitt is the politician's old campaign manager who's called upon to hush everything up, and Bateman is a journalist who's trying to do the opposite (if you've seen the BBC miniseries and I have any of this wrong, please let me know.)

That all sounds great to me, and of course Bateman can be seen before that in a Bluth father-and-son reunion in "Juno," a flick I've mentioned here, well, at least 500 times or so. Michael Cera is on as good a role of late as his TV dad, so here's hoping that continues (and, just in case you've somehow missed it, please check out ClarkandMichael.com and be ready to laugh - a lot.)

And, as a tribute to the much-missed (by me, at least) "Arrested Development," here's a look at what's happened to the rest of the cast since Fox killed this utterly entertaining show:

Jason Bateman: Along with the aforementioned projects, Michael Bluth will also appear soon in "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium." All I know about this is that it's about a magical toy store and it stars Natalie Portman, which is enough to get me at least a bit intrigued. Next summer he'll star in "Hancock" with very pretty people Charlize Theron and Will Smith.

Portia de Rossi: I'm sad to report that Lindsay Bluth Funke has nothing listed on her IMDB resume since "Arrested Development" except an appearance or two on her girlfriend's talk show. Surely there must be work out there for this rather funny lady.

Will Arnett: I would say that Gob Bluth's post-"AD" movie record has been nothing short of atrocious, but since I haven't bothered to see most of his flicks I can't say that with authority. Up next on his very busy resume (he has at least eight projects listed as announced or active on the IMDB) will be an appearance in "Semi-Pro," the next sports-oriented Will Ferrell flick about a struggling basketball team from Flint, Michigan. This looks like it could be very funny, but after that I'm sorry to have to say he'll be providing voice for the thoroughly unnecessary remake of "Horton Hears a Who." Oh well. I guess a man's gotta eat.

Michael Cera: After "Juno," in which he plays the rather fortunate young man who manages to impregnate young Ellen Page, he's set to star in a movie based on the very funny novel "Youth in Revolt" by C.D. Payne. I just finished reading this, and I can report that if you can handle yet another novel about a 14-year-old and his constant quest to have sex, this one is just a hoot from start to finish and should make a good flick in the right hands.

Alia Shawkat: George Michael Bluth's cousin Maeby, conveniently enough, also stars in a flick being released this week, something called "Prom Wars." As the title implies, this is a flick that's targeted at an audience just slightly younger than me, but I'll probably see it anyway at some point. The plot (courtesy of IMDB): The graduating class at Miss Aversham and Miss Cronstall's School for Girls find that they have all blossomed simultaneously. Capitalizing on their improbable hotness, they issue a challenge to the boys of rival private schools, Selby House and Lancaster College: The winner in a series of athletic and academic competitions will be awarded exclusive rights to the girls as prom dates. Oddly enough, this appears to be headed straight for DVD, since I can't even find it listed at Yahoo's movies site.

Tony Hale: Buster Bluth is next listed as having a bit part in "Rockett," some kind of romantic comedy set to star Jimmy Fallon (meh) in November. After that he's down for two movies I know absolutely nothing about, some kind of thriller called "In My Sleep" and "The Tale of Desperaux," a rather star-studded animated flick about a mouse, a rat and a servant girl. Who knew rats would become the new penguins?

David Cross: Tobias Funke was, for my money, the funniest cast member of "AD," with Michael Cera a close second. He's starring very soon, if you're lucky enough to be going to the New York Film Festival, as Allen Ginsberg in Todd Haynes' trippy Dylan biopic "I'm Not There," but after that things dont look too promising. After an appearance with Jason Lee in "Alvin and the Chipmunks" (no, I'm not kidding) he only has animated voice credits listed, although at least one of those will be in the upcoming "Futurama" (huzzah!) movie or episode (not sure which) "The Beast With a Billion Backs."

Jeffrey Tambor: George Bluth has already flamed out in one post-"AD" sitcom, "20 Good Years" (which didn't even last one bad one). He's currently listed for another pilot, "The Captain," but I couldn't manage to find out if this has even been picked up for this fall. After that, I have the pleasure to report he's set to reprise his role as Tom Manning in Guillermo del Toro's "Hellboy 2: The Golden Army" and the displeasure to report he'll then star in yet another "spoof" movie, the thoroughly unnecessary "Superhero!"

Jessica Walter: Since "AD," Lucille Bluth has only made three one-shot appearances on TV shows I've never seen, "Rules of Engagement," "Saving Grace" and "The Land Before Time." Surely there must be more work out there for this very funny lady.

And there you have it. I hope that was enjoyable to at least one person, and that you all have an entirely suck-free Tuesday.

Of tomatoes fresh, rotten and simply rancid

It's days like this that, even though I would still love to get paid to simply watch movies, I have to give thanks that that dream has yet to materialize.

As a service to movie-renters everywhere, Rotten Tomatoes has released a list of the 25 best-reviewed movies from the first half of 2007, and much more importantly, the 10 worst-reviewed.

It's little surprise to me that Brad Bird's simply sublime "Ratatouille" ends up at No. 1, but there were some others that caught me off guard. I had no idea that "Hot Fuzz," which seems to me an acquired taste at best (though definitely one for me), and David Fincher's fantastic "Zodiac," with all the griping about its length, both managed to work their way into the Top 10. As an aside, two movies I recently had the pleasure of watching on an airplane, "Breach" and the simply charming "Starter for 10," also made the Top 25.

As for the Bottom 10, I had three thoughts. First, thank God I haven't had the misfortune of seeing any of these! Second, how in the world does poor Lauren Graham end up starring in the worst-reviewed movie (so far) of the year? (and is it really that much worse than "Norbit"?) And third, that I guess we should be thankful that even the worst movie of the year (so far) still managed to get 17.7 percent good reviews.

Anyways, I just love lists, so here are the Top 25 and Worst 10, followed by their percentages of good reviews. Please feel free to sound off on any that you think got particularly dissed or received too much love.

Best-Reviewed Movies

1. "Ratatouille" - 85.9
2. "Away From Her" - 84
3. "Once" - 83.2
4. "Knocked Up" - 83
5. "Hot Fuzz" 82.1
6. "Sicko" - 81.7
7. "The Host" - 81.6
8. "Zodiac" - 80.8
9. "Waitress" - 79.1
10. "The Lookout" - 78.5
11. "The Wind that Shakes the Barley" - 77
12. "The Italian" - 76.7
13. "The Hoax" - 76.4
14. "Red Road" - 76.3
15. "Breach" - 75.9
16. "Bridge to Terabithia" - 75.7
17. "The Namesake" - 75.7
18. "After the Wedding" - 75.2
19. "Grindhouse" - 75.2
20. "An Unreasonable Man" - 75.1
21. "God Grew Tired of Us" - 74.9
22. "Starter for 10" - 73.9
23. "Into Great Silence" - 73.7
24. "Live Free or Die Hard" - 73.4
25. "Paris Je T'aime" - 73.4

Worst-Reviewed Movies

1. "Because I Said So" - 17.7
2. "The Number 23" - 18.6
3. "Premonition" - 19.9
4. "The Reaping" - 21
5. "Norbit" - 22.9
6. "Perfect Stranger" - 23.1
7. "Happily N'Ever After" - 25.1
8. "Are We Done Yet? " - 25.2
9. "Code Name: The Cleaner" - 25.8
10. "Hannibal Rising" - 27

Maybe you can quit that day job after all ...

If it weren't for Rotten Tomatoes, this almost certainly would have been my lead item of the day.

Sadly, it seems that even seemingly bionic Shinichi "Sonny" Chiba is susceptible to aging, and at 68 has announced his retirement from action films. On the upside, if you've ever wanted to learn how to kick royal ass, here's your golden opportunity.

It seems the great Mr. Chiba, unwilling to let his tremendous talents just follow him to the grave, will open his own action-acting school in Japan.

So, what drove the seemingly inexhaustible Mr. Chiba to his limit? He said it came while filming a period drama for pubcaster NHK in July. Required to wear a heavy suit of armor for his role of warlord Itagaki Nobukata, Chiba suffered an asthma attack. "Itagaki died (in the drama) -- now I want to bury 'Shinichi Chiba' as well," he told reporters.

Next month he will start taking applications for a Japanese branch of his LA-based acting school, Thousand Leaves Hollywood. He also plans to join with Hong Kong action legend Jackie Chan to launch schools for future action stars in Beijing and Shanghai.

Sounds like they're launching their own little army, which, given the state our world is in today, can only be a good thing. In my overactive mind at least, sign me up!

Welcome back, Ms. Polley

Even if she directs and stars in movies that are simply too good to ever play in my little corner of the world, I'm always happy when I hear that my favorite Canuck, Sarah Polley, is getting back to acting.

For her latest return, she's set to star with Jared Leto in "Mr. Nobody," a romantic drama from writer-director Jaco Van Dormael that sounds like quite the mind trip.

Set in the not-so-distant future, the story follows Nemo Nobody (Leto) who, at 120 years old, is the last mortal surrounded by happy immortals as he relives his real and imaginary years of marriage.

This sounds like it will straddle that fine line between interesting and awful, and for Sarah's, sake I'm pulling for the latter.

Two nuggets of YouTube goodness

This first clip has been making the rounds for a few days now, but I still couldn't pass it up. Not only do you get a glimpse of Cate Blanchett as Bob Dylan in Todd Haynes' upcoming "I'm Not There," but you also get David Cross (huzzah!) as Allen Ginsberg. This flick is just gonna be incredible.



Next comes a trailer which, if it weren't for the rather remarkable cast, I'd be inclined to simply ignore. Called "The Good Night," it features the great Martin Freeman of the UK "Office," extremely funny man Simon Pegg and simply irresistible Penelope Cruz. The awfully hokey premise: Freeman is a very unhappy man who starts to have dreams about Ms. Cruz (as I've been known to do from time to time myself.) This being a movie, of course, she turns out to be an actual woman, they meet, and shazaam. Like I said, this could be truly awful, but I just couldn't pass up a cast this good. And now, I simply have to go vote, drop off my car to get its window fixed and then go to work. Peace out.