Bombs Away: 10 2011 box office duds

Summer is the season of box office hits, but here (with credit to The Hollywood Reporter for the numbers) is a look at 10 movies that didn't come close to qualifying for that title.

Mars Needs Moms
Wow. How could so few people turn out for a movie based on a book by Bloom County creator Berkeley Breathed? Robert Zemeckis' movie isn't just the biggest bomb of this year, but after pulling in about $39 million worldwide and costing at least $150 million to make, it's easily one of the biggest box office disasters of all time, and thankfully will hopefully keep Zemeckis from laying his remake hands on the Beatles' "Yellow Submarine."


Your Highness
I pretty thoroughly enjoy a well-made raunchy comedy ("Bad Teacher," still in theaters, is a good example), but "Your Highness" certainly wasn't one of them. The stoner comedy that cost about $50 million to produce created very little buzz at all, taking in only $21.6 million domestically and a mere $3 million overseas.

Arthur
Only you can stop the '80s remake machine, and moviegoers certainly did their part with this dud starring Russell Brand, who I usually like quite a bit. The "comedy" took in $33 domestically and another $12.7 million overseas, giving it at least a slightly larger haul than its production budget of about $40 million.

Prom
Was there really a Disney movie this year that only took in $10 million at the domestic box office? If you didn't know it was something called "Prom," you're clearly far from alone. In relative terms, I suppose it's hard to really call this one a "bomb," since it only cost $8 million to make, but I guess in this case you get what you pay for.

Judy Moody and the Not Bummer Summer
The folks behind this potential kids movie tentpole were clearly hoping Judy Moody would follow this one up with perhaps a Not Forlorn Fall and then maybe a Not Woeful Winter (as some kids must know, the actual titles of these are probably much more clever than mine), but with the $20 million movie only taking in $13.4 million so far, Judy's movie calendar may have already run out.

Green Lantern
Have we finally reached the breaking point with super hero overload? There will be another test coming July 22 when "Captain America: The First Avenger" hits theaters, but with "Green Lantern," all signs point to yes, with the movie costing at least $200 million to produce and expected to rake in no more than $260 million or so worldwide. Not a disaster, though, and in fact, there's already plans for a sequel, so what do I know?

Priest
Finally, a vampire movie that no one wanted to see. The action movie starring Paul Bettany as a holy man who hunts down bloodsuckers cost about $60 million to produce, and took in a mere $29.1 million domestically, but caught up a bit overseas by taking in another $46 million.


Sucker Punch
Along with being a box office bomb, Zack Snyder's truly bizarre fantasy-revenge mess holds the double distinction of being both one of the movies I was most looking forward to for this year and also the single worst one I've seen so far in 2011, by a pretty wide margin. The flick, which cost about $82 million, took in just $36.3 million domestic and $53.4 million overseas, and to add insult to injury, didn't even open at No. 1, losing out to "Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules" (and having seen them both, I can confirm that the Wimpy Kid turned in a much better movie.)

Hoodwinked Too! Hood vs. Evil
The original "Hoodwinked!" was the very definition of a sleeper, taking in more than $100 million worldwide with little fanfare, but this sequel turned out to be pretty much the complete opposite, with a production budget of about $30 million and a domestic box office take of just $10 million or so, supplemented by a scant $3.6 million overseas.

The Beaver
No, this movie about a crazy Mel Gibson wasn't a documentary, and nor was it seen by just about anyone in the world. Costing $20 million to make, it made no box office impression at all, taking in less than $1 million domestic before disappearing. I'm no economics master, but I'm pretty sure that adds up to a disaster.

And I'll leave you with simply a brief preview of tonight's sure-to-be very funny episode of "Louie." Packaged with the extremely funny "Wilfred," FX has a great pair of comedies at a time when there is very little else on, so give them a chance if you haven't yet. Peace out.

Potentially great things coming to TV with Sam Raimi and Darren Aronofsky

In case you need to know, the above photo of Tom Cruise comes from a 2012 movie called "Rock Of Ages," but it's really so funny that it speaks for itself with no further explanation from me.

And before we get into the TV stuff today, let's start with movie news about one of my very favorite directors, who has inactive for a while now. If you missed it, Anton Corbijn's thriller of sorts, "The American," starring one George Clooney, is easily one of my favorite movies of the past few years. The tale of a hitman (Clooney) on his final assignment in Italy admittedly moves a bit slow, but it's a good story well told and beautifully photographed, and there are few rentals I can recommend higher.

Before that, the former music video director Corbijn made the movie "Control" about Joy Division's Ian Curtis, which is also wickedly entertaining, so he's definitely a director to keep your eyes on. And now comes word that he's landed a follow-up to "The American" that sounds perfect for his style.

"Let the Right One In" director Tomas Alfredson will beat him to theaters with a John Le Carre adaptation, "Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy," and Corbijn will follow that with a much more contemporary Le Carre thriller, "A Most Wanted Man."

The book, published in 2008, tells the story of a Chechian Muslim who illegally immigrates to Hamburg, where he gets caught up in the international war on terror. The tale is loosely based on the real-life story of Murat Kurnaz, a Turkish citizen and legal German resident who was seized by American authorities, with knowledge of the German government, and taken to Guantanamo Bay. He was kept there for several years before being released, without charge, in 2006.

For a better idea of what the book is and movie presumably will be about, here's a trailer that was made for the release of the book. Enjoy, and then stick around for the promised TV news, and then a couple of clips just for fun (with Muppets!).



On my own TV, with very little new on and at the urging of my fellow cubicle slave Renee Martinez, I've been catching up with a home run of a show that I'm embarrassed to admit I had simply skipped until now, "Torchwood." If you've never seen it, the BBC-produced spinoff of "Doctor Who" is tailor-made for fans of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer," with much of the same wit and scarier creatures to boot.

The show will come to Starz for its fourth season beginning July 8, and now comes word that the network has bought into something potentially thoroughly fun from Sam Raimi and "Spartacus: Blood and Sand" creator Rob Tapert.

What they're cooking up is a live-action version of an anime show I've never seen titled "Noir," about a pair of rival female assassins who team to take on a secret society to learn more about their own mysterious origins. I'm hooked on that already, and for just a taste of what the anime original was about, here's its opening:



The big event in TV tonight, of course, is the season one finale of "Game of Thrones," and having read book one of George R.R. Martin's fantasy series, what's amazed me most about this perfectly entertaining series is how its managed to stick so strictly to its excellent source material and yet still deliver fun surprises each week. It's somehow gotten better week after week, and tonight's doozy of a finale should continue that trend.

After that, there will be "True Blood," returning next week, and then Larry David's "Curb Your Enthusiasm" later this summer, and after that, HBO, never one to rest on its laurels, has enlisted one Darren Aronofsky to direct at least the pilot for a series that sounds like nothing but big fun, "Hobgoblin."

The show, about con men and magicians who conspire to bring down Hitler, has a pilot script co-written by novelist Michael Chabon, and that's all I know so far, but definitely stay tuned ...

OK, to close, on to the videos. The Muppets have teased us pretty good for a few weeks with spoofs on first "The Hangover Part II" and then "The Green Lantern." While those were indeed pretty funny, and probably better than the movies they lampooned, they were really just small-bite appetizers for this first real trailer for "The Muppets," set to come out around Thanksgiving. It looks and sounds exactly like the silly fun I'd expect from a Muppets movie, so move this one starring Jason Segel and Amy Adams right up near the top of the list of movies I most want to see for the rest of this year. Enjoy.



And finally today, I wasn't much impressed at all with the first trailer for Ruben Fleischer's upcoming comedy "30 Minutes or Less," but this second, red-band clip definitely delivers the funny. His follow-up to the sublime "Zombieland," starring Jesse Eisenberg, Aziz Ansari and Danny McBride, is set to come out Aug. 12. Enjoy this rather foul trailer, and have a great rest of the weekend. Peace out.


EMBED-30 Minutes or Less - Watch more free videos

A Thursday clip show, closing with the funniest thing you'll see today

Starting with some movie news, having been thoroughly burned by Matt Reeves' soulless, shot-by-empty-shot remake of one of my favorite movies, "Let the Right One In," I should just run screaming from this, but there's news today that still gives me hope that another unnecessary remake of a modern European classic might actually be pretty good.

Guillaume Canet's "Tell No One," based on the American novel by Harlan Coben, actually came out in the same year as Tomas Alfredson's "Let the Right One In," and as a duo, they were my two favorites movies of 2008.

So there's nothing more representative of Hollywood's bankruptcy of ideas than the fact that they're both so quickly targeted for remakes, but in spite of that, I still have hope for the upcoming American take on "Tell No One" for exactly one reason: Ben Affleck.

He's now at work on "Argo," the odd thriller he's directing based on the true story of how the CIA and the Canadian government teamed up to rescue six U.S. diplomats who had been taken hostage by Iranians in 1979, developing a ruse that involved convincing the Iranians that the diplomats were a Hollywood film crew scouting locations for a movie called “Argo.”

That should be nothing but wicked fun, but today comes word that after that, he'll direct the American remake of "Tell No One," and though like I said I should know by now not to get suckered in so easily, the hard-boiled mind-bender would indeed seem to be perfectly catered to his directing style, if this remake needs to be made at all.

OK, enough of that. I promised clips, and the movie-related ones today are actually pretty sensational in my estimation, followed by three doses of pretty solid funny.

First up today is the first trailer I know of for the upcoming baseball flick "Moneyball," which, even with the thoroughly annoying "Entertainment Tonight" voiceover interruptions, looks like nothing but great. I love a good baseball movie, and this one starring Brad Pitt as Oakland A's bean counter Billy Beane, Jonah Hill as his assistant and, though he makes virtually no appearance in the trailer, Philip Seymour Hoffman as A's coach Art Howe, should be a real winner. Enjoy the trailer, and if you like baseball movies as much as me, keep an eye out for this in September.



Next up, if you take one piece of movie advice from me ever, it's go see "Tree of Life" if you have the chance. By far Terrence Malick's most personal movie, and in my opinion, his best, too. But don't take my word for it. In what I have to assume is a leaked DVD extra, Christopher Nolan and David Fincher eloquently make the case for why this is such a uniquely entertaining movie, emphasizing its naturalism as one of its chief strengths. Enjoy, go see the movie if you can, and stick around for three doses of good comedy, with the very best for last.



Part of my newspaper job (the one that actually pays me a bit of scratch) is to look for movie reviews of the week's opening releases, if there will be any. Well, this week, I just assumed several folks would step forward to review "Green Lantern" in time for inclusion in our entertainment publication, but only Rene Rodriguez took the plunge, and slightly too late, promptly giving the movie one star. With "Super 8" still to catch up with and perhaps Woody Allen's "Midnight in Paris" to see again (yes, it's just that good), I think I'll just say no, but just in case you're feeling tempted, here are the Onion folks to get you amped for the sure-to-be-phenomenon that is "Greg Lantern." Enjoy.



I read this book while in a Minneapolis bookstore last week, and even though I have no rugrats of my own to deal with, it was an amusing enough little ditty. I had no idea, however, that Adam Mansbach's "Go the F#$% to Sleep" was about to debut atop the NY Times bestseller list. Reading it is indeed a bit of fun, but believe me, hearing Samuel L. Jackson read it is at least 15 times better. Enjoy this audio-only clip, and then stick around for what is by a very wide margin the funniest thing I've seen today.



By himself, Karl Pilkington, the tormented genius of Ricky Gervais' podcasts and now his Science show "An Idiot Abroad," is pretty friggin funny already. But what happens when you combine him with Warwick Davis, the "Harry Potter" star who's also featured in his own upcoming Gervais series, "Life's Too Short"? Not surprisingly, comic gold. On the podcasts, Pilkington has made it clear that he fears just about everything even slightly out of the ordinary, especially little people, so when Davis sits on his lap in this clip, it's a riot. If you like this, be advised, it's only part one of four, and the rest can be found at YouTube by searching for "When Karl Meets Warwick." Enjoy, and have a perfectly pleasant Thursday. Peace out.

What's next for Danny Boyle?

This is only a rumor I've seen at one site, Deadline, so far, but it's pretty friggin' great, so I'm gonna go with it.

Unfortunately, the next thing that Danny Boyle will be directing that anyone will be able to see will be the opening ceremonies for the 2012 Olympics in London, but before and again after that he's apparently returning to the grittier kinds of movies that he was known for in the early days.

Per Deadline, he's going to begin directing the thriller "Trance" in London this September, and here's what the site says it's about:

"I'm told it's an art heist gone wrong, and it's got the dark, sexy, hard-edged tone of Boyle films like Shallow Grave and Trainspotting," says the site.

Not much to run with there, but "Shallow Grave" is indeed one of my favorite movies of all time, and though he's made plenty of great movies since they started to take on a much more optimistic tone (except for "Sunshine," man did that suck), a return to the early days for Boyle should be nothing but fun. Unfortunately, with the Olympics coming, he's going to begin the filming this Fall, but then put this on the shelf for a while, and then pick it up again for a potential March 2013 release. Bummer there, but still mostly good news. Stay tuned ...

In other movie news, the animation company Laika, which with "Coraline" has made what is still the only animated movie I've really enjoyed watching in 3-D, is joining up with Focus Features for a new stop-motion offering. Unfortunately for them, "Coraline" mastermind Henry Selick has moved on to Pixar (I think), but it still sounds like what they're cooking up now should be a lot of fun.

"Paranorman" is a comedy/thriller about a small town being attacked by zombies and has a voice cast featuring, among others, Casey Affleck, Tempestt Bledsoe, Jeff Garlin, John Goodman, Anna Kendrick, Leslie Mann, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Kodi Smit-McPhee and Elaine Stritch.

And though Selick is nowhere to be found, this seems to be in good hands with "Flushed Away" director Sam Fell and Chris Butler, storyboard supervisor for "Coraline," teaming up to direct this. Butler also wrote the screenplay.

OK, after that today, a fairly brief look at what's ahead on "The Office," segueing into a couple of videos that caught my eye this morning.

After watching the departure of Michael Scott, which if Will Ferrell hadn't been on it would have been just about perfect, I think it would have been, frankly, a great place to simply end the show for good. Nothing against Ferrell in general, because I often like him quite a bit, but he's simply not funny on "The Office," and the truly nonfunny scenes with he and Andy (Ed Helms) just took away from Michael's pretty universally great goodbyes (having Creed hoist his "World's Greatest Boss" mug was an especially nice touch).

So, now that he's gone, what's ahead? Here, courtesy of NBC, are the synopses for the next three weeks, going until the end of the season.

Tonight: "The Inner Circle"
Deangelo’s true management style is finally revealed; he plays favorites by creating his own “inner circle.” Guest stars: Will Ferrell, Cody Horn.

Next Week: "Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager"
Dwight takes over as acting manager and applies draconian tactics to the office. Meanwhile, Gabe tries to win Erin back. Guest star: Kathy Bates.

May 19: "Search Committee"
Season Finale. Double episode. Guest stars: Jim Carrey, James Spader, Will Arnett, Ray Romano, Ricky Gervais, Catherine Tate.

That's a lot of star power, obviously, but my money and my fan heart are still on Catherine Tate, simply because that would be the best possible outcome since the show apparently must go on.

And to prove that I really, in general, have nothing against Will Ferrell, he returned as George W. Bush (of course) just in time for the death of Osama Bin Laden for this Funny or Die video. The whole thing is pretty great, so I won't spoil it with any more words from me except to say stick around until the end when he explains why this is "a great day for America." Priceless.

And finally, I had been pretty skeptical that "Green Lantern" would amount to anything but thoroughly silly, but while it certainly will be that, judging from this first trailer, it should be pretty epicly fun too. Starring Ryan Reynolds and "Gossip Girl" Blake Lively and being directed by Martin Campbell, it's set for release June 17. Enjoy the trailer, and if you'll excuse me, I'm off now for a swim and then headed back to the Atlanta Film Festival. Peace out.