Thursday fun, of "Walking Dead," Bill Buckner and more

If you're not a Baltimore Orioles fan, I should first say you're rather lucky, but also that you can be excused for thinking the celebration after last night's season-ending game was a bit much for a team that, once again, finished in last place in the American League East.

Except for it wasn't. When all you can enjoy with a team is schadenfreude, you have to take what you can get, and since the O's aren't headed to the World Series anytime soon, there is at least pleasure in knowing the Boston Red Sox won't be this year either. Especially when your team had everything to do with it.

And in honor of that, and since my father reminded me of it this morning via the New York Times, I give you a scene from easily the funniest half-hour of TV to appear this fall, the return of Bill Buckner on "Curb Your Enthusiasm." Coincidental timing? I think not, but either way, seeing him be dressed down by the extremely foul (I warned you) Susie Essman just adds to the pleasure of this glorious day. Enjoy.



If you don't get HBO, you can watch much more of Buckner's stuff on "Curb" at Youtube, and it's all really funny. And moving on, before we get to all kinds of zombie stuff, Twitch, which is very rarely wrong, has the goods on a remake that's quickly shaping up to be potentially worthwhile (and no, I'm not talking about "The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo," for once.)

The news that Mandate has hired Spike Lee to direct an English-language remake of the rather fantastic Korean revenge saga "Oldboy" is old news by now, but still welcome since it means the return of the often-great and never boring Mr. Lee to feature films. The perhaps even better news now is the cast that might be coming together for this.

Josh Brolin has definitely signed on to play the lead, a man who is mysteriously locked away in a hotel room for 15 years and then methodically takes his revenge after being just as mysteriously released. I could tell you more, but you really need to see this Chan Wook Park gem for yourself, which you can watch on Netflix streaming right away, if you haven't given up on them completely yet.

And in the fairly solid rumor mill, Christian Bale is apparently being sought for the role of Oh Dae-su's (in the Korean version) tormenter, and perhaps even better, Rooney Mara, aka the new "Girl With the Dragon Tattoo" (ack, I just can't get away from it) is being eyed for the female lead, a waitress who helps Dae-su (again, at least in the original version.) This is quickly coming together as one remake I'm definitely in for.

And after that today, it's all about zombies, because, let's face it, they're just o much fun. And though "The Walking Dead" should really today apply to the Boston Red Sox (ha!), it's also the name of AMC's sophomore series formerly led by Frank Darabont and set to return Oct. 16.

If you watched the short but seriously entertaining season one, you saw the closest that mainstream TV has come to real horror in as long as I can remember, plus a show that almost perfectly combines genuine humanity and suspense. The former may suffer a bit with the departure of Darabont, but I'm still betting the second season will be great.

In the meantime, AMC is filling the gap with a series of short webisodes, which will all appear starting Monday. They will tell the story of Hannah, a.k.a "Bicycle Girl," the legless zombie taken down by Rick Grimes in the first episode. It will tell the backstory of her pre-zombie life and how she tried to save her family before becoming one of "The Walking Dead" herself.

Look for them beginning Monday at 2 p.m. at AMCTV.com, and in the meantime, enjoy this new promo for season two, and then stick around for something that really needs no explanation beyond its title, "Zombinladen."



Finally today, and courtesy of Iwatchstuff.com, comes a grindhouse trailer that, well, you really have to watch because no words from me will really do it justice. Enjoy, "Zombinladen," and have a perfectly pleasant Thursday. Peace out.

ZOMBINLADEN The Axis Of Evil Dead

5 for 30: The best of ESPN's sports movies

On the surface the idea of ESPN producing a series of short documentaries (30- of them, so far) wouldn't seem like the recipe for greatness, but if you pick and choose wisely among them, some surprisingly entertaining moments can be found in its "30 for 30" series.

The movies, in fact, are much like sports itself: If all you did was watch sports all day, you wouldn't have much of a life at all, but picking out what appeals to you - which for me this time of year means Braves' and, when I can find them, Orioles' games - certainly makes life a little more sweet.

And this week on DVD, ESPN has released the second collection of "30 for 30" films, making them now available in two volumes or as individual titles. Or, if you're on a budget and a Netflix kind of person like me, I know the movies I've listed below are all available for rent individually.

So, with full regional and sports bias on display, here are my five picks for the best of the "30 for 30" movies, with the titles followed by their directors.

"The Band that Wouldn't Die": Barry Levinson
Though most of Baltimore has moved on with the success of the Baltimore Ravens, Levinson's valentine to Charm City focuses on my kind of people, those who never gave up their love of the long-gone-but-never-forgotten Colts. The Colts band members that remained behind when the team left are a colorful bunch whose mix of anger and still-burning enthusiasm is an entertaining mix.

"The Two Escobars": Jeff and Mitchell Zimbalist
The 1994 FIFA World Cup should have been a grand celebration of the game and our country, and it was, except for one black mark: The appalling death of Colombian player Andres Escobar after his own goal in a match against the host team. The Zimbalists' movie looks at his life and that of drug kingpin Pablo Escobar, and the connections between the murders of both men. The best movie of the bunch.

"Without Bias": Kirk Fraser
There were certainly more important historical events that happened during my childhood, but few hit me harder than the death of Len Bias (hey, when you're 16 years old, these things do lose a bit of perspective.) Fraser's movie, before it drifts off into an unfortunate and tangential segment about legalizing drugs, re-creates that awful night with Maryland players who were there, and it's often chilling to watch.

"The Legend of Jimmy the Greek": Fritz Mitchell
The life of Jimmy "the Greek" Snyder, from his career as a Las Vegas bookmaker to his time on "NFL Today," is certainly great fodder for a movie, and Mitchell almost succeeds at making it work, except for one big flaw: a voice over that's clearly not from Snyder but, I guess, is supposed to represent his voice. It really takes away from the story, but if you can get past that (or even try to ignore it), this is an engaging tale of a man who lived life very large.

"The Birth of Big Air": Jeff Tremaine, Johnny Knoxville and Spike Jonze
There's nothing I love more in movies than big, beautiful dreamers, and you won't find many as gloriously goofy as BMX rider Mat Hoffman, whose singular pursuit of catching "big air" from a bike ramp, and its effects on all aspects of his life, is lovingly documented here by three of his friends and co-conspirators. Easily the most fun of the "30 for 30" movies, and really, what more can you ask for from a movie like this?

And there you have it. Please feel free to add your picks of any I may have snubbed, and since this a free-form kind of forum, any sports documentaries you love, since I'm always looking for rental ideas (in that broader category, my choice is still Aviva Kempner's "The Life and Times of Hank Greenberg" - perfection), and have a perfectly passable Tuesday. Peace out.

Chomet's "The Illusionist" casts enchanting spell

An animated movie being screened by the Macon Film Guild? A rare occurrence indeed, but "The Illusionist" is a charming choice, an old-fashioned animated tale that gets much of its magic from its innocence.

The somewhat surprising Best Animated Picture Oscar nominee this year is from French director Sylvain Chomet, as was a previous Guild selection, "The Triplets of Belleville." And like that flick, "The Illusionist" features no discernible dialogue, yet has a whole lot to say.

The simple story, from a screenplay co-written by Chomet and the late French director and comedian Jacques Tati, centers on one key question: Is magic real? As the movie opens, we meet the magician Tatischeff, who is struggling as much with his ornery rabbit as he is the fact that he's becoming a relic in a world drawn to much more modern and flashy forms of entertainment.

With his run in Paris ending, Tatischeff accepts a drunken invitation from a wedding guest to bring his act to Scotland, and there he meets Alice, a young girl who becomes captivated by his magic tricks, including the gift of some much-needed shoes. Tati has said he originally wrote the story in the 1950s as a tribute to his estranged eldest daughter, and the relationship of Tatischeff and Alice indeed unfolds like that of a father and his child.

Though there's nothing at all unseemly about the relationship (it's in fact entirely innocent), it's still what makes "The Illusionist" not really a movie intended for kids. As Alice grows up and the allure of Tatischeff's tricks starts to fade, she slowly discovers the joys of the world around her (including, of course, boys) and the two of them start to grow apart. It becomes a poignant tale about loss and regret, but never loses the charm that makes it so enjoyable.

Everything about "The Illusionist" is old-fashioned, from the hand-drawn, gloriously 2-D animation that makes the European cities the duo visits a beautiful tableau to the jokes that pack a sly punch without ever clobbering you over the head.

And though the story is in the end a bit slight, Chomet wisely wraps things up in 80 minutes or so, while "The Illusionist" still has its own magic. All in all, his movie is well worth a trip to the Douglass Theatre this weekend for this latest offering from the Macon Film Guild. In full disclosure, however, you won't see me there, because this Sunday I'm off to Turner Field to watch Cliff Lee and the Phillies battle the Braves in this baseball season in which my Orioles are somehow 4-0. Now there's a magic act. Peace out.

OK, maybe I will go see "The Other Guys"

Before I get into any of that, think: What's the best possible news you could hear about the return of "Glee" to make it even better than the wickedly funny/cheesy/outright entertaining show already is?

Well, how about Sue Sylvester's mom? In what, even if you don't watch the show you'll have to concede is rather genius casting, Carol Burnett will play the nazi-hunting mother of Jane Lynch's cheerleading coach/bully extraordinaire on a November episode of the Fox show. The only possibly bad news there? In the place where I first saw this, in Michael Ausiello's Entertainment Weekly column, it was pretty clear this will be for only one episode. Oh well.

And the baseball season may well have ended for the Orioles in, well, the second week of April or so, but my favorite team of lovable losers is now 2-0 under new manager Buck Showalter and are now guaranteed to win their fifth series of the year (out of 35, yes, but always look on the bright side of life.) As I heard some dude on ESPN radio say, and though of course I couldn't see him, it seemed to be with a straight face, "here come the Orioles," so watch out.

In their honor, here's a picture I found this morning of Philip Seymour Hoffman as A's manager Art Howe in the upcoming flick "Moneyball" that just made me smile. The flick itself is directed by Bennett Miller from the Michael Lewis book about general manager Billy Beane, who kept the team's payroll low and its winning percentage high (as opposed to the Orioles, who, oh well ...) One Brad Pitt is set to play Beane, who often clashed with Howe on the direction the team was taking. Anyways, this flick is one I'm definitely looking forward to. Here's the pic, which gets bigger if you click on it:


OK, finally on to the main event, I suppose. Although I managed to give up smoking long ago (and was never terribly good at it anyway), I still have plenty of bad habits, and the worst of them all just might be Will Ferrell movies. I haven't quite seen them all (I managed to just say no to whatever that basketball flick was called), but it's definitely well more than half, and I really can't explain why.

There all universally pretty stupid, but sometimes very funny too. An example: That "Stepbrothers" flick with John C. Reilly was a hoot. Yes, really. So, while I was at first at least trying to resist seeing his new flick directed by Adam McKay, "The Other Guys," it looks like it has enough going for it to make me spring for a matinee or so (though not this week, because I have to work six days and on my day off, I'm gonna see "The Kids Are All Right" instead, since that has one week at best to survive around here.)

The upside: Steve Coogan is not only in it, but is apparently the big bad, and I'll watch him in just about anything. Markie Mark and Samuel L. Jackson should also be very funny.

The downside: If it's bad, it will just be a 90-minute SNL sketch, and I already made that mistake once this year already with the not-even-for-90-seconds-funny "MacGruber" (yes, I see far too many movies.)

Anyways, if you happen to see this this weekend, please feel free to let me know if it was any good, and in the meantime, enjoy this mysteriously bleeped, four-minute clip of footage screened at Comic-Con, and have a perfectly pleasant Thursday. Peace out.

Just about the best news animation fans could possibly hope for

Actually, before we get into any of that goodness today, there's some very dark news about the world of TV, which directly impacts the show I was most amped about for the entire coming year (which is, when you think about it, just about the least important thing about this.)

David Mills, who worked closely with David Simon and like Simon was a former newspaper reporter (Mills for the Washington Post and Simon for the Baltimore Sun), died Tuesday night of an aneurysm on the set of "Treme," the post-Katrina New Orleans series he was developing with Simon for HBO (set to debut two Sundays from now, assuming this news doesn't change that.)

Once he crossed over into TV, Mills, like Simon, had a big hand in creating some of the best TV shows of the last 20 years or so. And I'm very far from exaggerating here. He wrote episodes of "The Wire," "Homicide: Life on the Street, "ER" and "NYPD Blue," and also served as a producer for "ER" and "NYPD Blue." His greatest accomplishment, however, was probably serving as executive producer and co-writer along with Simon and Ed Burns for the simply stunning HBO miniseries "The Corner," easily the most depressing thing to come out of Baltimore besides the Orioles, but still very worth watching (and which netted him two Emmys.)

And saddest of all is that he played a key role in "Treme" at the time of his death, serving as executive producer and having already written two episodes. I'm still planning to re-up on HBO in time for the premiere of this and long enough to watch "True Blood" season 3, but this is just a sad day all around indeed. Rest in peace, Mr. Mills.

You can read a much better obituary for the man written by his fellow "Treme" creators here.

OK, enough sad stuff, because for fans of great animation, there's news out there that is nothing short of incredible. Stop-motion master Henry Selick made my favorite animated movie of 2009 in "Coraline" (followed closely by "Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs.") Shortly after that, however, he was left immediately unemployed after the animation house he toiled for, Laika, closed up shop.

Now, however, that's all changed, and in the best possible way. Selick has just signed a long-term deal to create more stop-motion movies for Disney/Pixar. There's no word yet on exactly what he has in mind first, but I'm betting that anything that springs from his very active mind will be nothing short of amazing.

Remember that it was Selick not, as many people mistakenly think, Tim Burton, who directed "The Nightmare Before Christmas," and he also made the even better Roald Dahl adaptation "James and the Giant Peach" (if you missed that, as many people did, rent it immediately.) And beyond giving him work to do, this welcome move hopefully shows that, despite Pixar's current fixation with 3-D, it and Disney will keep being committed to making all kinds of animated movies.

And finally today, I just got around to examining the lineup for the 2010 edition of the Atlanta Film Festival 365 (for which I'm somehow a member of the press), and it looks great. The Atlanta fest is really homegrown, featuring a lot of regional fare and, this year, a focus on civil rights and music documentaries. I'm incredibly psyched that included in the latter category will be the closing night movie, "The Secret to a Happy Ending," a doco about my favorite rock band by far, the Drive-By Truckers (followed, apparently, by most of the band playing for a party that I WILL get in to.)

But the festival has narrative features too, of course, and I think the one I'm most looking forward to is "The Good Heart." It stars two of my favorite actors in Brian Cox and Paul Dano. Cox plays the owner of a New York dive bar who is slowly drinking and smoking himself to death until he meets Dano's character, a young homeless man who he takes under his wing. I don't know much more than that, but it's enough to get me rather amped for this. Here's the first clip I know of for the movie. Enjoy, and have a perfectly pleasant Thursday. Peace out.

Bring on baseball, and with it the perfect summer soundtrack

Baseball season is almost here again, and even for someone who still cheers rabidly for the perpetually suffering (and almost all deserved, unfortunately) Baltimore Orioles, it's the best reason all year of every single year to celebrate.

And what could make the 2010 baseball season even better than it's sure to be? How about a month-by-month soundtrack updating the state of the season from some of alt-rock's (or whatever the hell you want to call it) best singer/songwriters.

In 2007, appropriately enough at a communal stadium urinal, fuzz guitar man extraordinaire Steve Wynn (if I had to pick just one, probably my favorite rocker around) and Young Fresh Fellows/Minus 5 vet Scott McCaughey met, and from that soon was born, thankfully, the Baseball Project.

So, what in the world is that? Well, it's just two really talented dudes, along with longtime Wynn drummer Linda Pitmon, getting together to write and perform really fun, totally fuzzed out odes to the world's greatest sport (with all apologies to the runner-up, soccer.) In July of 2008 they put out their first album, "Vol. 1: Frozen Ropes and Dying Qualls," which I just bought this morning (after the head's up from mi hermano, who luckily has an actual good team, the Twinnies, to cheer for along with the O's.) It's just full of all kinds of fun songs about baseball, including odes to Curt Flood,Satchel Paige, Sandy Koufax and others, including a great Spanish ditty about Fernando, and even tracks called "Ted F***ing Williams" and "The Yankee Flipper."

If you've never heard of Steve Wynn, I really probably can't do justice to how great he is in writing, so why not listen to a bit of the Baseball Project yourself? The group has just released the first of its monthly ditties for this season, appropriately enough titled "All Future and No Past." In the perfect spirit of eternal hope that greets each new season, it's a tribute to the league's most long-suffering teams, so the Pirates, Royals and, of course, Orioles all get prominent play. I'm not sure they're right that "The Orioles' recent woes are deceiving," but it's a new season, and that means that for one day at least, the Orioles will be in first place in the American League East by sheer force of alphabetical order.

Click the widget below to listen to "All Future and No Past," and keep a look out on ESPN's The Life for the tracks to come once a month throughout this season (and yes, I can almost guarantee I'll post them all here, too.) Enjoy, have a great rest of the weekend, and unless you somehow cheer for the Red Sox or Yankees, keep hope alive!

A slew of great clips, and then a break for me

After today, I'm shutting this site down for a week or so (though you're still welcome to stop by, of course) because I'm going to see my parents, hang out in fantastic Rehoboth Beach, Delaware (yes, Delaware), and see 10 or more movies in four days.

Yes, it's time once again for the Rehoboth Beach Independent Film Festival, easily my favorite time of the year. Highlights I'll hopefully get tickets for this year include Nina Paley's animated wonder "Sita Sings the Blues" and a trio of documentaries, Aviva Kempner's "Yoo-Hoo Mrs. Goldberg," Davis Guggenheim's "It Might Get Loud" and "Youssou Ndour: I Bring What I Love."

I can't wait to get there, but in the meantime, since there's no real news out there today, I'll leave with a series of clips because, since it's Wednesday, how better to waste time while you're at work today?

First up comes the first trailer I know of for "Kick-Ass," which, fortunately has no Nicolas Cage in it whatsoever. You do, however, get to see the kids - Aaron Johnson, Chloe Moretz and Christopher Mintz-Plasse (yes, McLovin) - in costume, and even Michael Cera's BFF, Clark Duke. Here's hoping this Matthew Vaugnn flick is as nearly as funny as it should be when it finally drops in April.

Kick-Ass

Trailer Park | MySpace Video

Next up comes the trailer for a flick I can't say I'm all that excited about, though there's always the chance it could be a lot of fun in the vein of "300." Louis Leterrier is directing this more than a little unnecessary remake of "Clash of the Titans," starring Sam Worthington, Gemma Arterton, Liam Neeson and Ralph Fiennes and set to come out March 26. Enjoy the trailer.



And now for something completely different. Though I would never - even on the rare weekday like today when I don't have to work - bother to tune into "General Hospital" or any other daytime soap, it's still probably a good thing that James Franco has lowered himself to star on that one for a little while. When I worked in the post office at the Catholic University of America (still one of my favorite jobs) we worked from like 6 a.m.-noon and then again from 3-5 p.m. Now, all the guys would go home for those three hours, but the gals would all huddle in the back room and watch three straight hours of their "stories." My point with that aside is that plenty of people still get pleasure from these shows, so if Franco can do anything to keep them alive, so be it. And besides, you can probably tell from the promo clip below that he seems to be having a lot of fun with this. Enjoy.



OK, back to the movies. It's been a long time since I've gotten to enjoy a silly and fun ninja flick, so I have to admit I'm really looking forward to spending a bit of my Thanksgiving weekend watching James McTeigue's "Ninja Assassin." My friend Sharon, who probably goes to two theater movies a year at most, has singled this one out as the single movie she wants to see for the rest of the year, and while that's more than a little odd, I've already promised I'll go see it with her. The main thing that crossed my mind as I watched these six "Ninja Assassin" clips courtesy of Collider.com is that it sure would be nice to have my daily commute be interrupted by dueling ninjas. Enjoy.



And finally, though this has nothing at all to do with movies, this official video for Jay-Z and Alicia Keys' "Empire State of Mind" is a great valentine to New York City and just really fun to watch. I still wish they hadn't spoiled it a bit by performing this for the great Satan - aka the New York Yankees - but it's still just a really fun song and video (and congratulations, by the way, to Mr. Adam Jones of the Baltimore Orioles on winning his first Gold Glove award this year.) Enjoy.



So, there you have it. Have a great week, and I'll see you back here next Tuesday or so. Peace out.

A nifty gadget for Muppet lovers ...

and if you're not one of those, really, what the heck is wrong with you? And besides, mighty Mr. Adam Jones had the game-winning RBI for the American League in last night's All-Star game (surely an omen of the Baltimore Orioles surging in the season's second half) and I'm going to see the movie based on my favorite Harry Potter book as early as tomorrow morning, so all is right with the world, right?

Well, not exactly ... there still is evil out there, and in my book almost all of it is embodied in Renee Zellweger. I've just never, ever liked her. And I can't see anything good coming from the news that she'll be starring in a new Bridget Jones flick.

I'll admit that this dude both read and enjoyed both of Helen Fielding's "Bridget Jones" books, the first one much more than the second. As for the movies, the first one was OK and the second was pure rubbish, so I can't even imagine how bad a third one - not based on any book at all - will turn out to be.

In even worse news (remember, there's Muppets coming to lighten things up), Stephen Chow has now completely exited Michel Gondry's "Green Hornet." If you've been following this rather sad saga from the beginning, you know that Chow was originally set to both play the Green Hornet's martial arts expert sidekick AND direct the movie, but a while back he was replaced as director by Michel Gondry.

Fair enough that. I still think Gondry can have a lot of fun with this, with Seth Rogen set to star and a script from Rogen and creative partner Evan Goldberg, but without Chow it's just gonna lose that extra bit of craziness that would have made this remarkable. Is Jackie Chan available? (Hopefully not!)

Oh well, there's got to be some good news out there, right? Actually, yes, especially if you love baseball (and again, if you don't why the heck not?)

Billy Bob Thornton has signed on to be a producer for a flick based on the Buzz Bissinger book "Three Nights in August," which is about a three-game series between the St. Louis Cardinals and Chicago Cubs in 2003 - as told from the perspective of Cardinals manager Tony La Russa (no word on this yet, but I could certainly see Billy Bob playing La Russa, too.)

Now I haven't read the source material for this, but I did read another of Bissinger's books, "Friday Night Lights," and it's a simply fantastic look at the obsession with high school football in Texas (and, of course, sort of the inspiration for TV's best drama, soon to enter its fourth season.) And any flick that offers this intense of a look at America's great sport and into the mind of Tony La Russa can only be a good thing in my book.

And finally, as promised, Muppets, Muppets, Muppets ... 101 of them in all. I can't take any credit for this except in the delivery of it, but if you indeed click on the link below, I defy to both not smile or waste at least a minor chunk of your work day. What is it? A guide to the 101 Muppets of Sesame Street. 'Nuff said.

Enjoy.

And with that, have a perfectly passable Wednesday, and if you've seen "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince," please feel free to tell me if it's any good or not. Peace out.

What will Pixar's first live-action movie be, and who will be in it?

Though any of you have much of a life will probably be out and about in some form tonight, I'll be at home watching my beloved Orioles most likely lose to my second-favorite baseball team (though there's a big gap between the two), the Atlanta Braves.

And after that, I'll certainly tune in for the final episode of "Pushing Daisies," which is dying far too soon tonight at 10 p.m. In what will have to serve as the finale, one-half of The Aquadolls (Nora Dunn and Wendie Malick), a synchronized swimming duo and rival to the Darling Mermaid Darlings, turns up dead, and of course Ned, Chuck and Emerson are on the case.

I've sung the praises of this fairy tale for adults loudly and proudly from the start, but on this sad occasion, I'll simply ask you this: How many shows in the past 10 years can you really call "unique" (a word that's used and misused far too often)? "Pushing Daisies," with its winning mix of humor, engaging story and pure whimsy, earned that title, and for that it will be sorely missed by at least by me.

But here today it's supposed to be about the star of another of my favorite TV shows, "Friday Night Lights," who's about to hit the really big time in what most likely will be the first live-action movie from the rather famous animation house Pixar.

I had thought that honor was going to go to "Ratatouille" and "The Incredibles" director Brad Bird with "1906," which just sounded like a perfect idea. Though I wasn't terribly impressed with the writing in the book by James Dalessandro, the story he came up with about the political intrigue that surrounded the great earthquake of 1906 in San Francisco was just crying out to be told on the big screen.

But it seems Bird has been hit both by trouble finishing the script and budget woes (at Pixar?), and it now seems that Andrew Stanton will get the live-action honor instead with "John Carter of Mars," set to begin filming in November in Utah. And, though most of the news reports I saw pitched it as Gambit from "Wolverine" landing the lead role, everyone should know that Taylor Kitsch is and always will really be Tim Riggins of the Dylan Panthers. Oddly enough, one of the female leads will be going to Lynn Collins, who played Hugh Jackman's "wife" in "Wolverine."

But, and if I were more of a proper geek I would probably know more about this, what in the world is "John Carter of Mars"? Well, it's a series of books by "Tarzan" creator Edgar Rice Burroughs, apparently, though I can't say I've ever read any of them (though that will change before this movie comes out.)

As far as I can tell, the story centers on a Civil War veteran who finds himself mysteriously transported to the red planet, where he gets involved with the planet's warring factions. I'm sure there's a lot more to it than that, and I'm also sure Taylor Kitsch will be great in what should turn into a series of flicks.

Oddly enough, I'm not sure how old the character is supposed to be, but also among the many actors considered for this part was Jon Hamm of "Mad Men." A truly odd combo there.

And I'll leave you today with this teaser trailer for Michael Moore's next, as yet untitled, flick, which as you'll be able to tell is going to be about the current state of our economy and just how we got into this mess. I'm kinda dreading just how smug, I-told-you-so he's gonna be about all this, but it's certainly a subject that fits him well, so here's hoping he comes up with something a lot more compelling and entertaining than the thoroughly missed opportunity that was "Sicko."

And now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to see "The Hangover" (yes, I'm a week behind) rather than any remake of "The Taking of Pelham 123" or Eddie Murphy's latest family-friendly crap fest. And just a reminder that if you live anywhere near Macon, please come out to the Macon Film Guild's presentation of the baseball flick "Sugar" on Sunday at 2 (I'll be there), 4:30 or 7:30 p.m. at the Douglass Theatre. Peace out.

OK, "Chuck" is back, but what will it look like? Some answers

I know I write about "Chuck" an awful lot at this site, but if I don't write about things that interest me, why bother at all? I could instead wax euphoric about how the Orioles managed to pull out a 12-inning victory last night over the lowly Nats, but I can't imagine anyone would want to read that.

So, now that "Chuck" has gotten its 13-episode renewal, albeit not until January, the real question now is what will it look like now that its budget has been cut. My friend Cory Sekine-Pettite is the only person I've encountered so far to speculate that they might write out Adam Baldwin's Casey, which would just be suicide. My own fear, especially since they sort of gave Morgan an out and definitely gave Chuck an evolving set of super skills, was that they would simply write out the Buy More.

Well, thanks to a heads-up from another good friend of mine, Stephanie Hartley (who's also sort of my boss), we now have some answers via Michael Ausiello and the mastermind of "Chuck" himself, Josh Schwartz. You can read all of Ausiello's interview here, but below are some of the highlights, and it's mostly good news.

First of all, viva the Buy More? Yes: We might have certain episodes where Chuck's mission is such that we don't get the opportunity to go to the Buy More [as much]. We love our cast and, obviously, we want to use them as much as possible in as many episodes as possible.

Will Casey be back? Of course: Chuck, Sarah, and Casey are in all episodes.

Perhaps the biggest question, however, revolves around Zachary Levi's new set of super skills, which of course in the finale debuted as some snazzy Kung Fu, and whether or not they will change his character in any fundamental way. Schwartz says no:

And I think for anyone who is concerned that he's no longer going to be the Everyman, or an accidental hero, fear not.

Like I said, that all mostly sounds like good news to me, so now we just have to wait until January or so to see how it all turns out. As Liz Lemon would say, Nards! And if you'll excuse me now, I'm going to clean my house and then go have my senses (and hopefully funny bone too) assaulted by "Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian." Peace out.

All I want for my birthday is ...

Two simple things really, but I'm really afraid neither of them are going to happen.

First, I'd really like "Terminator Salvation" to not suck, but the reviews from both critics and people who actually just like watching movies are starting to quickly pile it up in the negative. At least they bothered to release it a couple of days early so I can go see it after work today.

For me, "Terminator" isn't just an iconic franchise. It's also the first time I really understood as a kid that "Rated R" wasn't just for sleazy movies. Granted, seeing Salisbury, Md., native Linda Hamilton all kinds of naked when you're 14 years old is certainly a bonus, but it was also just seriously smart sci-fi that earned the violence side of its "R" with style and purpose.

I have a growing suspicion that McG - who I have no real beef with up to this point - is just gonna blow that all away, but here's hoping against hope that I'm wrong.

And secondly, an Orioles victory over the damn Yankees, I'm afraid, is even more of a lost cause. I was hoping Tuesday night would lead to our second defeat of C.C. Sabathia this season, but in the seventh inning the game went from 2-1 to 9-1 in favor of the Yanks in what seemed like five seconds. And the less that's said about last night's game the better.

Actually, what I really want for my birthday is to see Matt Weiters in an Orioles uniform now, and to bring a bunch of those young arms with him to replace the bums we have now. Gregg Zaun is hitting well below the Mendoza line, which even Peter Angelos must recognize isn't terribly good, so the future is now! Peace out.

This time, the f***ed with the wrong Mexican"

If you ever wake up thinking the odds are stacked against you, which I do fairly often, I've got a rather amazing TV story to share with you, but first a word or two about the still surprising Baltimore Orioles.

Sure, they're only at .500 (8-8), but apart from a rather disastrous four-game sweep at the hands of the dastardly Boston Red Sox, the Orioles have won all four of their other series this year, by a count of 2-1 in each one. Tonight has Japanese import Koji Uehara facing off against Vicente Padilla, his 9.64 era and the Texas Rangers. Keep hope alive!

And the fact that hope is still alive at all for a ninth season of "Scrubs" is even more incredible. Given how this first season on ABC has unfolded, with almost all the new doctors being instantly forgettable, and Zach Braff already eyeing the exit, I just assumed the end was coming in a few weeks or so.

But, when the show has focused on its core characters, it has often been just as funny and plain silly as ever, and it seems that ABC has taken notice. Though no deal is complete yet, the network is said to be seriously looking at a way to lower the license fee and bring back just about the entire cast (including the weakest link, Braff, for at least a few episodes) for a ninth season next year.

Here's hoping it happens, because I can count the non animated TV half-hours I watch on just more than one hand: "How I Met Your Mother," "Scrubs," "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" (the best of them all), "My Name Is Earl," "Parks and Recreation," "The Office" and "30 Rock." Are there any other sitcoms out there that I should be tuning in for?

The news that "Scrubs" may still somehow be on life support is, however, far from the strangest TV news out there this morning. It seems that Pedro Almodovar, one day after it was announced that his new flick, "Broken Embraces," will be in competition at Cannes, is now getting into the U.S. TV game too.

And believe me, I'm not making this up. Fox TV is apparently adapting an hourlong series to be extremely loosely based on Almodovar's first big hit (and still his funniest flick) "Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown."

Though Almodovar will be an executive producer and says he will stay involved, I still can't see this being anything but bland assuming it actually comes together. Why? First of all, the plot, as described by pilot author Mimi Schmir, seems to have little to do with the original movie: According to Schmir, it's "a suburban drama about a group of women who have known each other for a long time, perhaps from college, who are in the middle of their lives and looking at the second half of their lives."

OK, I watch plenty of shows intended for women (and yes, even one, in "Gossip Girl," clearly intended for girls), but that just sounds like nothing but boring. The original movie got all its spirit from its rapid-fire dialogue and the screwball humor inspired directly by '50s Hollywood comedies. I suppose there's a chance they can keep all that alive, but count me as a skeptic.

Oh well, that's probably more than enough about that. On to the main event. Robert Rodriguez's Machete character, played by Danny Trejo in the best faux trailer from "Grindhouse," seems to be even more resilient than my Orioles.

Even though "Grindhouse" can't even generously be called anything but a box-office disaster (though still tons of fun in my book, with Tarantino's second half being even better than Rodriguez's first) after taking in only $25 million in the U.S. and costing $67 million to produce, Trejo's blade-wielding Mexican day laborer and former Federale Machete is seemingly somehow about to rise again with his own feature film.

Rodriguez says he is eyeing a June start for the flick, which he will co-direct with longtime editor Ethan Maniquis, to begin shooting in Austin.

And for anyone who has managed to block Machete from their mind by any number of things that would have to be much more important, I've included the trailer from "Grindhouse" at the bottom of this post (and be warned that, if you watch it at work, along with rather spectacular cartoon violence, it does feature some rather bare breasts.)

Rodriguez has several other irons in the fire, but "Machete" is certainly the one that I'm most interested in. And with that, I'm off to the second weekend of the Atlanta Film Festival 365, to hopefully squeeze my way in to both James Toback's "Tyson" and Carlos Cuaron's "Rudo Y Cursi." Enjoy the trailer, and have a perfectly pleasant weekend. Peace out.

For the Orioles, I'll take whatever help we can get

I guess I shouldn't have been too surprised at all to find out that Spike TV has already picked up a pilot series on the U.S. Navy's anti-pirate activities.

When I first heard what happened Sunday afternoon, I have to say it just blew my mind. After what I have to admit was a split second or less of doubt that it was the right thing to do, I just had to say "badf***ingass" (my brother can confirm this, since I was on the phone with him) - as I'm sure a lot of other people did too, in perhaps a slightly less vulgar and more appropriate way - when I first learned what the Navy did to win the freedom of ship captain Richard Phillips. It's the kind of thing that would seem far-fetched in even the craziest of action movies if it weren't, of course, true.

But it's equally refreshing to know that, probably just shortly after he had given the OK to take out the Somali pirates, President Obama was being briefed on another kind of truly insidious evil, the kind that dresses in Yankee pinstripes.

I can't take any credit for this, so I've just included the whole article by New York Daily News scribe Michael Saul about what the Obama family heard along with their Easter sermon, written in exactly the right spirit. Enjoy!

When it comes to church, President Obama can't avoid trouble.

As the First Family attended an Easter Sunday service at St. John's Church across from the White House Sunday, the Rev. Luis Leon unleashed a vicious and unholy attack on New York.

He insulted the Yankees.

With the Obamas sitting in the sixth row, Leon told congregants that "baseball season has started" and that the church's drummer is a huge Yankees fan.

Leon then said he wanted to remind everybody that the Orioles have beaten the Yankees twice so far, and therefore, "The world lives in hope."

"I'm a fairly charitable person," the good reverend said, "but I have to tell you - I hate the Yankees."

Laughter erupted from the pews. It was unclear whether the Obamas joined in.

White House spokesman Bill Burton did not respond last night to the Daily News' urgent inquiry into this matter.

Last year, Obama publicly split from his longtime pastor and friend, the Rev. Jeremiah Wright, and the family is still searching for a new spiritual home.

New York's leaders defended their team with pride.

Stu Loeser, Mayor Bloomberg's press secretary, said, "We checked with a religious authority here in New York, and on this specific area of belief, Mayor Bloomberg's rabbi assures us that President Obama's minister is mistaken."

Former Mayor Ed Koch said, "When I see the Yankees attacked, the hairs on the nape of my neck go up, and the guy who attacks them is lucky if I don't hit him and then run."

I love Joan Jett, but really?

Even if there really is no hope that the Baltimore Orioles will be nothing but awful for the foreseeable future (and, even worse, they're gonna be worse than the Nationals next year!), there are still plenty of great things that come from Charm City.

I've extolled the virtues of "The Wire," simply the greatest cop show of all time, in this space many a time. And even if he is more than a bit of a pervert, Baltimore's John Waters has made some seriously funny movies over the years (just the other night I was watching "Pecker" with Christina Ricci and Edward Furlong - a real hoot.)

And I always thought, when it comes to music, that Joan Jett was from Baltimore too, but it turns out you can add another thing to the growing list of things I was wrong about. She apparently grew up in Wheaton, Md., before dropping out of high school and joining the Runaways. But no matter where she's from, Joan Jett is just cool in my book.

About once a day or so, my cubicle mate Renee Martinez gets a call on her cell phone that plays Jett's first (and still best) solo single "Bad Reputation," which a few of you may know as the theme song for my beloved "Freaks and Geeks." As sad as this is, it is one of the dependable highlights of my predictably boring work day.

And I tell you all that to tell this, there's a biopic of Jett's all-girl punk supergroup of sorts, The Runaways, in the works, but it's quickly starting to stink so bad you can smell it already. In what can only be an ominous sign, it's being made a woman named Floria Sigismondi, who may indeed turn out to be a great movie director but so far has specialized in music videos for Sheryl Crow, Christina Aguilera and the like.

But, in much worse news, they've now seemingly just botched beyond belief the casting of Joan Jett by jumping on the "Twilight" train and grabbing Kristen Stewart. No offense to her, but I just can't see it,

The Runaways, for the four years they lasted, were exploited for sure but were all about fun and attitude, and Stewart just doesn't have it. The first question that came to my mind when I first read this this morning was whatever in the world ever happened to Ellen Page? She has to be up to something, right? A quick IMDB search finds she's playing the lead of "Whip It!," Drew Barrymore's flick about roller derby queen Bliss Cavendar, and then starring in some kind of psychological thriller called "Peacock." Surely she could make time to get in on "The Runaways" action if anyone bothered to ask.

And now I have to get ready for work, but I'll leave you with something that should make any Wednesday at least a little bit better, a clip of Jett's "Bad Reputation" playing behind one devoted fan's rather well-edited tribute to "Freaks and Geeks" (and be sure to stay until the end for Joe Flaherty attempting to give his "Korea" speech - priceless.) Peace out.

"Tropic Thunder": The art of sharp satire lives again

Even if it has come a lot later than usual this year, it's still depressing to announce that, once again, it is now mathematically impossible for the Baltimore Orioles to win 100 games (but the chase to .500 goes on with spirit!)

But that, of course, is not the order of the day. That would be "Tropic Thunder" which - given my fears about how bad it might be - turned out to be surprisingly satisfying and close-to-first-rate satire of Hollywood action moviemaking.

I liked this one even more than "Pineapple Express," which I certainly didn't expect, but it's still not without its faults. First off, I'm still immature enough to get a kick out of grossout humor (I still say the first "Jackass" movie is the "Citizen Kane" of that genre), but I'm beginning to find I just don't have the stomach any more when it crosses the line to simply disgusting. "Tropic Thunder" does this at several points, the worst of which involved writer/director/star Ben Stiller and a certain body part of Steve Coogan's (I won't spoil this revolting bit for you.)

And my second beef was with Jack Black who, for the first time, simply annoyed me on the big screen. Even if you like him, which I definitely still do, try and think of his most annoying characteristics. Now think of all of those amplified because he's tripping balls on cocaine, and you'll come close to how unbearable he is in this movie. For a much better performance by Jack Black as a drug addict, flash back to Alison Maclean's simply charming little flick "Jesus' Son," which is well worth a rental if you haven't seen it.

All that said, there's a lot more to like than to loathe in "Tropic Thunder," and almost all of it revolves around Robert Downey Jr. (though Ben Stiller holds his own and just made me laugh out loud with his heart of darkness with panda breakdown.) Surely everyone has seen Downey in blackface as meticulous method actor Kirk Lazarus by now, but I can tell you there's much more funny here than you've seen in the trailer. The best part of all is that he talks like no person - black or white - you'll probably ever meet, and it's hilarious when Brandon T. Jackson as rapper-turned-actor Alpa Chino (get it?) calls him out on it (and speaking of the fine line between gross and disgusting, two words: Booty Sweat (very funny!)

Drawing even more fire going in to this one was the use of the word "retard" but, and perhaps I'm just extremely insensitive, it works perfectly well in the framework of hollywood satire. If Stiller had simply left it at his portrayal of "Simple Jack" it would have been a mild chuckle-inducer, but once again it's Downey who elevates this to a fair target with his speech about going "full retard." The only people who should really be cringing rather than laughing at this are the moviemakers who know they're the real butt of this joke.

The bottom line: It's a bit too disgusting and definitely repetitive, but "Tropic Thunder" is also the best satire about the business of making movies since "The Player." Peace out.

Dying Cub Fan's Last Request

Before we go any further, let me just assure any diehard Chicago Cub fans out there that I'm certainly not posting this as any form of mockery.

As a long-suffering fan of the Baltimore Orioles, who actually had their postseason ruined once (against the Yankees, no less) by a meddling 8-year-old brat long before anyone had ever heard of that Bartman character, I can more than empathize.

Instead I just wanted to hear this great Steve Goodman tribute to the Cubbies when I woke up this morning, and found that someone calling himself "cubbymark" had posted this rather remarkable clip to YouTube just three days ago. Since then it's already been viewed more than 1,300 times, as much a mark of love for Mr. Goodman as it is of fear about the fate of the Cubs, I think.

Anyways, enough babbling from me. Enjoy this video and, even if you're a Cub fan in serious mourning once again, just try not to smile even a little bit.