For Wednesday, just a slew of movie news, good, bad and simply silly

There's just a ton of news out there today (or perhaps yesterday, but it's new enough to me), but let's just start with the worst of all and get it over with: George Lopez has signed on to star in a big-screen version of "Speedy Gonzalez." Just take that in for a second before moving on.

Now, I understand that Hispanics need to get all kind of roles and want that to happen all the time, but can you have a worse comedic role model than the very obnoxious Lopez or a more stereotypical role for him to jump into? Sheesh.

Just in case you're curious about the "plot" of this monstrosity, it will be a live-action/CGI animation hybrid from the director of "Garfield" (this just keeps getting better and better, doesn't it?) about how Speedy becomes a race car driver.

OK, enough bile to start the day. It can only get better from here, I promise.

Freida Pinto to join forces with Tarsem

It really seems like every other movie coming out nowadays has something to do with Greek gods, and I'll probably skip just about all of them except for this one, because I'll see just about anything directed by Tarsem.

If you have seen "The Fall" (and if you haven't, why the heck not?), you know he's as capable of telling a great story as he is of delivering something visually stunning, and now he's got a great leading lady for his next project, "War of the Gods."

The story follows a young warrior Theseus as he leads his men into battle with the immortal Greek gods to - of course - save mankind. Freida Pinto is set to play Phaedra, an oracle priestess who joins Theseus on his quest.

Like I said, these movies quickly all run together for me, but Tarsem is without exaggerating a genius, and Freida Pinto is the kind of beauty I'd probably pay to watch eat a bag of chips, so I'll definitely be keeping my eyes on this one.

The Coens find their young leading lady

Remakes usually make me cringe as much as anyone, but these next two are just so crazy that I can get behind them unconditionally.

First up is the Coen brothers' take on "True Grit," set to come out in December and almost certainly net them another Best Picture nomination in the next field of ten.

Why a remake of "True Grit"? Well, the original movie is great in itself, but the novel by Charles Portis is even better, with a lot of humor to mine that the Coens should take full advantage of.

Already announced for the stellar cast are Jeff Bridges, Matt Damon and Josh Brolin, and now its just been announced that newcomer Hailee Steinfeld has been cast in the essential role of Mattie Ross, the 14-year-old who, along with an aging U.S. marshall and another lawman, tracks her father's killer in hostile Indian territory. I've included a picture of her since I really had no idea who she was, but the Coens' take will apparently focus much more on Mattie's view of the story, so this really is the key part. Count me as thoroughly jazzed for this.

Stephen Chow to channel Bruce Lee

I'd normally greet any news of a Bruce Lee movie remake with nothing but a sneer, but Stephen Chow is both certifiably insane and just as fun, so I'll give him the benefit of the doubt on this.

Chow has just signed on to make his Hollywood acting/directing debut with something called "Tai Chi," which is at least loosely to be a remake of sorts of Lee's "Way of the Dragon."

Like the original, it will tell the story of a Chinese immigrant (Chow, natch) working as a dishwasher in Chinatown who also just happens to be a Tai Chi master. He hides those skills until he's forced to stand up to gangsters who oppress his fellow immigrants.

This sounds like nothing but fun to me, and the kind of flicks Jackie Chan used to make before he joined ludicrous projects like the "Karate Kid" remake coming fast (and, don't say I didn't warn you, there's more coming on that later today.) Definitely keep an eye on this.

A pair of biopics in the pipeline

When I saw this this morning, I tried to think if there's been a Robert F. Kennedy biopic made yet, but couldn't think of one (if I'm wrong, let me know.) He's certainly a ripe subject, and by far the most fascinating of the Kennedy clan in my book, so word about a biopic is certainly welcome.

And Bostonian Matt Damon would certainly seem to be natural choice to play him, as he will for director Gary Ross from a Steven Knight script.

We all know the tragic story, but my favorite RFK moment of all would have to be the speech he gave in the streets of Indianapolis announcing the assassination of Martin Luther King Jr. Incredibly stirring stuff that should be great to see envisioned on the big screen.

And in even better biopic news, Forest Whitaker let slip in an interview with the indispensable Blackfilm.com that he is directing and starring in a biopic about Satchmo himself, Louis Armstrong. Whitaker certainly has the look for it, and he's becoming a first-rate director too, so this should be nothing but fun.

And there's some great casting news, too

Of all the comedy fronts out there, the best one in my book is what's coming from my adopted South from the mob of Jody Hill, Danny McBride and David Gordon Green. They just view the world with an extremely jaded eye, and deliver their stories, thankfully, without an ounce of sentiment (but often plenty of silliness.)

And now comes word today that Green is about to sign on to direct something that should be the epitome of said silliness, something called "The Sitter," to star Jonah Hill. You've at least got my attention when you describe your flick as a cross between "Superbad" and "Adventures in Babysitting," and this one will be about Hill being forced to babysit three wild kids.

Just about nothing makes me laugh more than children being unleashed as their truly wild and hopefully profane selves, so here's hoping this turns into something genuinely hilarious.

And in semi-related news, fellow Judd Apatow protege Jason Segel is joining something that sounds just raunchy enough to suit him perfectly. Along with the alwaysveryfunny John Michael Higgins (if you don't know who he is, watch "Best in Show" and then get back to me) he's joined something called "Bad Teacher" being directed by Jake Kasdan (as an aside, if you haven't seen Kasdan's "TV Set," do yourself a favor and rent it immediately.)

The flick follows a foul-mouthed, gold-digging seventh grade teacher (Cameron Diaz, somehow) who, after being dumped by her boyfriend, sets her sights on a colleague (Lucy Punch) who is dating the school's model teacher. Add into this mix Segel as a gym teacher and Higgins as the school's principal, and you've got the makings of something that should be nothing but very funny.

And in clearly much classier news, Angelica Huston and Philip Baker Hall are joining James McAvoy, Seth Rogen and Reel Fanatic crush Anna Kendrick in the now-untitled cancer comedy which used to be known as "I'm With Cancer."

The flick, which director Jonathan Levine starts shooting later this month in Vancouver, stars McAvoy as a 25-year-old who learns he has cancer. I have no idea what anyone else will do in this flick, but with a cast like that, it's certainly one to watch out for. Hall, in particular, is a favorite around here who should be a much bigger star by now.

And, finally, a trio of videos

You know, this has already gone a lot longer than I intended when I woke up this morning, but that's what happens when I start the day with a big bowl of coffee.

And for my money, there isn't a funnier (or, not coincidentally, crazier) dude out there today than Aziz Ansari. You can see him on "Parks and Recreation," but thankfully he's also taking his Raaaaandy character from Apatow's "Funny People" to ridiculous extremes. After making a mini-documentary about the Andrew Dice Clay-type comedian (which you can watch in installments on YouTube, highly recommended), Ansari has now teaamed up with TV on the Radio's Dave Sitek to make a Raaaaandy rap album. Yes, really.

And judging from the first single, "Aaaaaaaangry," which you can listen to here, the as-yet-unfinished "mix tape" should just be insanely fun. On this track, he disses everyone from Dr. Dre (first name slowest, last name ever) to the Clipse, and it's just a hoot. Below is a clip of Ansari in character annoucing that the mix tape will be delayed but coming soon, and will certainly be purchased by me whenever that actually happens. Enjoy.



OK, now remember, I did warn you earlier. Next up comes quite possibly the most intelligence-insulating trailer of all time. I'm really not sure where to start with this, but ripping off the "wax on, wax off" bit is probably the worst of all. "Enjoy" the first trailer I know of for the "Karate Kid" remake starring Will Smith's kid, if you dare.



And finally, if for nothing else than to watch out the taste of that monstrosity, here's a promo for "Chuck," which is thankfully finally set to return to NBC on March 1. Since you've got Superman of a sort, Brandon Routh, why not make a "Superman" style promo? Enjoy, and have a perfectly bearable Wednesday. Peace out.

A nifty gadget for Muppet lovers ...

and if you're not one of those, really, what the heck is wrong with you? And besides, mighty Mr. Adam Jones had the game-winning RBI for the American League in last night's All-Star game (surely an omen of the Baltimore Orioles surging in the season's second half) and I'm going to see the movie based on my favorite Harry Potter book as early as tomorrow morning, so all is right with the world, right?

Well, not exactly ... there still is evil out there, and in my book almost all of it is embodied in Renee Zellweger. I've just never, ever liked her. And I can't see anything good coming from the news that she'll be starring in a new Bridget Jones flick.

I'll admit that this dude both read and enjoyed both of Helen Fielding's "Bridget Jones" books, the first one much more than the second. As for the movies, the first one was OK and the second was pure rubbish, so I can't even imagine how bad a third one - not based on any book at all - will turn out to be.

In even worse news (remember, there's Muppets coming to lighten things up), Stephen Chow has now completely exited Michel Gondry's "Green Hornet." If you've been following this rather sad saga from the beginning, you know that Chow was originally set to both play the Green Hornet's martial arts expert sidekick AND direct the movie, but a while back he was replaced as director by Michel Gondry.

Fair enough that. I still think Gondry can have a lot of fun with this, with Seth Rogen set to star and a script from Rogen and creative partner Evan Goldberg, but without Chow it's just gonna lose that extra bit of craziness that would have made this remarkable. Is Jackie Chan available? (Hopefully not!)

Oh well, there's got to be some good news out there, right? Actually, yes, especially if you love baseball (and again, if you don't why the heck not?)

Billy Bob Thornton has signed on to be a producer for a flick based on the Buzz Bissinger book "Three Nights in August," which is about a three-game series between the St. Louis Cardinals and Chicago Cubs in 2003 - as told from the perspective of Cardinals manager Tony La Russa (no word on this yet, but I could certainly see Billy Bob playing La Russa, too.)

Now I haven't read the source material for this, but I did read another of Bissinger's books, "Friday Night Lights," and it's a simply fantastic look at the obsession with high school football in Texas (and, of course, sort of the inspiration for TV's best drama, soon to enter its fourth season.) And any flick that offers this intense of a look at America's great sport and into the mind of Tony La Russa can only be a good thing in my book.

And finally, as promised, Muppets, Muppets, Muppets ... 101 of them in all. I can't take any credit for this except in the delivery of it, but if you indeed click on the link below, I defy to both not smile or waste at least a minor chunk of your work day. What is it? A guide to the 101 Muppets of Sesame Street. 'Nuff said.

Enjoy.

And with that, have a perfectly passable Wednesday, and if you've seen "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince," please feel free to tell me if it's any good or not. Peace out.

Is it just me, or does Al Pacino kind of suck?

That's more than a bit harsh about a man who obviously used to be a great actor, but I have to say that when I see his name on a movie nowadays it just makes me wince.

Now, luckily unlike Marshall Eriksen (more truly great stuff about "How I Met Your Mother coming at the end), I don't have a boss who yells at me on a regular basis. That doesn't mean, however, that I need to have this void filled by having Al Pacino yell at me at the movies. And that's all he seems to do.

Now, there have been recent exceptions, of course. He was great as Roy Cohn in "Angels in America," but you have to go all the back to 1999 to find a year in which he made two movies that I really enjoyed - "Any Given Sunday" and (much better) "The Insider."

And this week he's back with what looks like a truly tired stinker. Let me go ahead and get the joke out of the way first - "88 Minutes" is, apparently unfortunately, actually 108 minutes long.

In a strictly paint-by-numbers plotline, Pacino stars as a criminology professor who regularly lends his skills to the FBI. Now one particular case has come back to haunt him in the form of a mysterious voice on the other end of the telephone that casually informs him he's been marked for death. That does sound slightly more interesting than the calls I constantly get from people telling me the warranty on my 1998 Honda Civic is about to expire, but only slightly.

Oh well, I will still be going to the movies twice this weekend. Once, of course for Segel's "Forgetting Sarah Marshall," but also - even though the Hollywood Reporter says it's aimed squarely at 16-year-old males - "The Forbidden Kingdom." I simply don't care how juvenile it might be; if you put Jackie Chan and Jet Li together in a movie (as opposed to Chan and Chris Tucker, thankfully), I'll be there to see it.

As for Mr. Pacino, I don't know when if ever I'll be able to come home to him again. A look at his future projects reveals a team-up with Robert De Niro for "Righteous Kill" - can you imagine the amount of hot air on that set? - and then a remake of the French heist flick "Rififi." The original, by the way, which I just recently managed to see, is simply a superb little thriller directed by the more recently late Jules Dassin. Rent it immediately if you can.

The return of Robin Sparkles!

I've been trying to find out if "How I Met Your Mother" (who it certainly seems is the simply radiant Sarah Chalke) has been renewed for a fourth season yet or not. If anyone knows the answer to this, please do share.

In the meantime, after a very funny episode this week about Marshall's job woes, it appears the show is going back into high gimmick mode for the April 21 episode with the return of everyone's favorite teen pop star, Robin Sparkles.

For anyone who doesn't watch the show (and, if you don't, you certainly should), Robin Sparkles is the alter ego of TV anchorwoman Robin Scherbatsky, played by Cobie Smulders. She made her debut on the very funny "Slap Bet" episode in a music video for "Let's Go to the Mall" on season two, and now she's back next Monday as another video blast from the past surfaces, this time to be called "Sandcastle." The episode will also feature cameos from Alan Thicke (as a music producer) and Tiffany (yes, that Tiffany) and James Van der Beek in the video. Which brings me to my only concern ...

The show already has five very engaging stars who work better and better together all the time, so do we really need all these gimmicky guests? I know I don't, but if "Sandcastle" contains anything nearly as funny as the line "Gonna rock your body 'til Canada Day," I'll be satisfied. And heck, if the guest stars are what it takes to get my second-favorite network comedy (after only "The Office") renewed again, I think I can handle it.

So, in honor of both Robins, here is the much-viewed video for "Let's Go to the Mall" (more than 500,000 times at YouTube, apparently.) Even if you've never seen the show, I guarantee this will make even the most dreary Wednesday just a little brighter. Peace out.

RIP Borat: A comedy legend bows out just in time

Sacha Baron Cohen must have at some point turned down a big bucket of cash before making this announcement, to which I can only say huzzah.

As he recently told London's Daily Telegraph, SBC is retiring both the characters of aspiring rapper Ali G and, more importantly, the belovedly clueless Kazakh journalist Borat Sagdiyev.

Now, don't get me wrong here. Like just about everyone who loves to laugh, I just adored "Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan." I just can't imagine what hoops he would have had to jump through to have his encounters retain any spontaneity, or how much of it he would have been willing to give up had he chosen to make any kind of sequel. Here's what he had to say to Variety:

"When I was being Ali G and Borat I was in character sometimes 14 hours a day and I came to love them, so admitting I am never going to play them again is quite a sad thing. It is like saying goodbye to a loved one. It is hard, and the problem with success, although it's fantastic, is that every new person who sees the Borat movie is one less person I `get' with Borat again, so it's a kind of self-defeating form, really."

Well, it's certainly refreshing to see someone in the entertainment business knows when to move on, but what does that mean now for SBC fans? Well, everyone should see him as Signor Adolfo Pirelli in Tim Burton's blood-spattered-but-brilliant "Sweeney Todd," and he has some more potentially very funny stuff coming after that.

First up will be "Bruno," the fashionista journalist based on another Ali G character, which I can't say I enjoy nearly as much as I did Borat. After that, however, things should only get better.

His next credit is for something called "Curly Oxide and Vic Thrill," which just sounds like tons of fun. Apparently based on a book by little-known punker Thrill and written by Tina Fey, it's the autobiographical tale of Thrill's partnership with a Hasidic musician, who I can only assume will be played by SBC. After that will be "Dinner for Schmucks," which has this tagline that sounds tailormade for his comedic talents: "An extraordinarily stupid man possesses the ability to ruin the life of anyone who spends more than a few minutes in his company." (Actually, I think I have some of that talent myself.)

So, RIP Borat, and thanks for knowing exactly when to exit the stage.

Rainn Wilson's got the "Spirit"

Even if there is some kind of Golden Globes ceremony broadcast Jan. 13, you certainly won't find me tuning in if there's any kind of writers' strike still going on (and, let's face it, there really doesn't seem to be any kind of progress being made.) For those of you who get the Independent Film Channel, though (which I do not), there will be some awards season respite on the way.

The very funny Rainn Wilson, who stars as Dwight Schrute on "The Office" and appeared for, oh, about 30 seconds or so in "Juno," has received a WGA waiver and will be hosting the 2008 Spirit Awards, set to take place at 5 p.m. Feb. 23 (one day before the Oscars, if there are any this year) and broadcast live by IFC.

Since I've already got to make a cable switch to pick up HBO again in time for the Sunday, Jan. 6, return of "The Wire," a k a the greatest television show of all time, I may as well dump the sports tier of my digital cable and pick up the movie tier instead, which would give me IFC again and, of course, lots of movies, which I've never yet found to be anything approaching a bad thing.

New trailer for "The Forbidden Kingdom"

If you're returning to work today like me (though I'm off again starting Friday and headed to NYC for four days of movies and more with the family), the silliness that is this new trailer for Rob Minkoff's (yes, the director of "Stuart Little") upcoming kung fu epic starring both Jackie Chan and Jet Li will hopefully make it a little easier. I do have to wonder, though, just how much Mr. Li is going to have to do with this, since he makes no appearance in this new trailer. Even so, enjoy, and have a perfectly pleasant Boxing Day. Peace out.

This just in: Tyler Perry likes to work

Even if you don't like all the movies they put out, it's hard to dispute that Lionsgate is just about the smartest studio in the game. I could certainly do without some of their slasher fare, but after sinking their claws into Tyler Perry early it seems they're never gonna let go, which should result in many entertaining movies to come.

As he's well proven already, Mr. Perry is just a movie-making machine, and until his flicks start to suck you won't hear me telling him to slow down. His next Lionsgate movie, "Meet the Browns," is set to come out March 21, and now Lionsgate has commissioned two more of his works for the big screen, "The Family that Preys Together" and "Madea Goes to Jail."

"Meet the Browns" centers on a single Chicago mother of three (Angela Bassett, huzzah!) who has been struggling for years to keep her kids off of the streets. When she receives a death notice claiming that the father she has never met has passed away, she quickly gathers up the kids and sets out for Georgia to attend the funeral, where she discovers a whole side of the family she never knew existed. Drama? Family reunion? And, surely, plenty of comedy? Sounds like familiar but fun Tyler Perry to me, so I'll definitely be there.

This flick also stars husband-and-wife team David and Tamela Mann, who were in Macon recently to perform another Perry stage show, "What's Done in the Dark," which will surely be made into a movie some time down the road (I, unfortunately, had to work and couldn't attend, but I'm sure it must have been a fun affair.) And, for those of you who like him/her, I can confirm that Madea will be making a return to the big screen in "Meet the Browns" (personally, I find Madea funny enough, but I'm just scared of all black men who don fat suits and dresses after being trapped on a plane and making the very unfortunate decision to watch "Big Momma's House 2." Yes, I realize I could have turned it off, but I was so brain dead that it just rendered me powerless to do so.)

I couldn't find out too much about "The Family That Preys Together," but I've seen the version of "Madea Goes to Jail" that's already out on video, and it's extremely funny stuff, so I'll have to get over my Madea-phobia and just enjoy what he does with it with a much bigger budget.

David Letterman, the good guy

Hidden under the caustic exterior of David Letterman beats the heart of an old softy which has managed to jump out on TV from time to time. And now, with his latest gesture toward employees of "The Late Show With David Letterman" and "Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson," both owned by Letterman's Worldwide Pants company, the secret that he's really just a good guy is definitely out.

Worldwide Pants Inc. notified its employees in New York and Los Angeles on Tuesday that they would be paid regardless of whether the show returned or not. This makes it the first known company to guarantee its staff a paycheck during the writers' strike. To give credit where it's due, this was first reported by Nikki Finke at
Deadline Hollywood Daily.

And, if you want to get a running and very funny commentary on life during the strike, "Late Show" scribes Eric Stangel, Justin Stangel, Bill Scheft, Steve Young, Matt Roberts, Tom Ruprecht, Jeremy Weiner, Lee Ellenberg, Joe Grossman and Bob Borden are sharing their thoughts in a blog of sorts here. Highly recommended reading.

Very enticing "Forgotten Kingdom" footage

My first thought when I heard about this movie was "if you're really gonna team up Jet Li and Jackie Chan for a fun kung-fu epic, why would you get the guy who made 'Stuart Little' to direct it?" Well, I'm still a little skeptical that "The Forbidden Kingdom" will be good when it comes out next Spring, but this mostly dialogue-free and action-packed teaser shows that director Rob Minkoff must have at least hired a good kung-fu choreographer. Enjoy, and have an entirely pleasant Thursday.

Information overload? A slew of good movie news

I managed to see Paul Haggis' "In the Valley of Elah" Monday, and while I can report it's Haggis' best movie yet and the first one he directed that I almost entirely enjoyed, i'm still wrapping my mind around it so can't say much more than that. In the meantime, here's a ton of news about people I always like to hear about.

First up comes a serious case of trading up by Spike Lee, and confirmation at the same time that his next movie should be a great one.

It's been hard to tell exactly what Spike will sink his teeth into next, but it seems the WWII drama "Miracle at St. Anna" will indeed be next on his plate. And, in even better news, it seems that Wesley Snipes has dropped out of the lead and been replaced by Derek Luke, easily one of my favorite actors.

Though almost noone saw it in theaters, Luke starred in, for my money, one of the best movies of 2006 with Phillip Noyce's South Africa drama "Catch a Fire." In "Miracle at St. Anna," he joins an impressive ensemble that already includes John Turturro and James Gandolfini. Luke, who also stars in the upcoming "Lions for Lambs," will play one of four members of the Army's all-black 92nd Division who get separated from their squad behind enemy lines. The soldiers, bitter about racism and the feeling that their own government treats its enemy better than it does them, finds humanity in the small Tuscan village of St. Anna (filming in Italy forced Snipes to pull out because of his tax troubles.

You can now officially list as one movie that I'll report just about every detail I can find on, so get used to it now.

Confirmation that I'll watch Catherine Keener in anything

Easily the highlight of my Friday worknight was an e-mail exchange with Nell Minow, a k a Yahoo's Movie Mom, about the virtues of Catherine Keener. On the list of leading ladies, I think I'd only list Helen Mirren above her among my favorites.

And, as Nell and I agree, she's so good that we like her in movies that have relatively few other virtues, as this next one just might prove. Even with the reliable Joe Wright, director of the upcoming "Atonement," at the helm, "The Soloist" just kind of makes me say meh.

Although I liked Jamie Foxx quite a bit in "The Kingdom," just about the last thing I want to see him do is make another musical biopic, this one about Nathaniel Ayers, a homeless musician with schizophrenia who dreams of playing at L.A.'s Disney Hall. Robert Downey Jr. (huzzah!) will play the Los Angeles Times correspondent who found Ayers on the streets of L.A., and Ms. Keener will play his editor. Like I said, this sounds like way too much schmaltz for me, but it's always worth keeping an eye on a cast like that.

And, for you fellow Catherine Keener fans out there, you can also look for her in "Hamlet 2" with Steve Coogan, Charlie Kaufman's "Synecdoche, New York" and Spike Jonze's "Where the Wild Things Are."

Berg nabs epic kidnapping tale

With Peter Berg rising rapidly on my list of favorite directors and season 2 of "Friday Night Lights" coming at 8 this Friday, now comes word he's got his hands on a new project that could be tons of fun.

Universal has apparently signed Mr. Berg to direct a movie based on John Pearson's book "Painfully Rich: The Outrageous Fortune and Misfortunes of the Heirs of J. Paul Getty." It's an often sordid tale that involves kidnapping and other high crimes and misdemeanors, so it should make for a compelling flick.

Berg's currently wrapping up "Hancock," his summer 2008 flick starring Jason Bateman (huzzah again!), Charlize Theron and a certain actor you may have heard of named Will Smith, and is then (I think) signed to direct a flick about Kentucky Derby winner Barbaro, so he'll be fairly busy for the foreseeable future.

A "Queen" sequel? Bring it on

Though Helen Mirren rightly got most of the acclaim for playing her highness in Stephen Frears' 2006 flick "The Queen," Michael Sheen's Tony Blair was just about as amazing an accomplishment. And now, thankfully, it seems we'll be getting more of it.

Did anyone out there know there was a prequel of sorts to "The Queen," another Tony Blair flick penned for Britain's Channel 4 by Peter Morgan and titled "The Deal"? I didn't, but it's being added to my Netflix queue now if I can get it. Rounding out the series to make a trilogy, Morgan is now at work on a new flick which will be about Blair's relationships with American presidents Bill Clinton and George W. Bush, with Sheen returning as Mr. Blair.

In "The Queen," Morgan and Sheen painted Blair as a wiley pol who nonetheless had a seemingly insatiable desire to be liked by everyone he encountered, so this next chapter should be another nice fit. Though Morgan will stop short of Blair's rather unpopular decision to back W. wholeheartedly on the war in Iraq, you can still expect some enticing palace (or, I guess, Downing Street) intrigue.

Morgan also recently finished a rewrite of "State of Play" for director Kevin Macdonald ("Last King of Scotland") and a draft of the adaptation of John le Carre's "Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy." Stephen Frears, director of "The Queen," will apparently be handing the reins for the next chapter to British director Tom Hooper, who has episodes of "Eastenders" and "Prime Suspect" listed among his credits.

I always suspected so ...

Though he was more than happy enough to pocket the big Hollywood checks, you can apparently count Jackie Chan (and me) among the legions of people who just can't stand Brett Ratner.

Chan wrote on his blog, according to Yahoo, that when he made the first installment of the "Rush Hour" series in 1998 he only wanted to test the U.S. market and didn't have high hopes.

"When we finished filming, I felt very disappointed because it was a movie I didn't appreciate and I did not like the action scenes involved. I felt the style of action was too Americanized and I didn't understand the American humor," Chan wrote.

He said he made the sequel because he was offered an "irresistible" amount of money to do it and made the recently released third installment to satisfy fans of the series.

Chan said "Rush Hour 3" was no different from the first two installments for him.

"Nothing particularly exciting stood out that made this movie special for me ... I spent four months making this film and I still don't fully understand the humor," he said, adding the comedic scenes may be lost on Asian audiences.

I thought the first "Rush Hour" was funny (and harmless) enough, but didn't bother with the other two. As far as his heart goes, it certainly sounds like Jackie Chan really didn't either.

‘Bottle Rocket’ to get Criterion treatment

Be warned: If it's at all possible you just might see Wes Anderson news on this site every day until I get to see "The Darjeeling Limited." Especially when the news is as good as this.

According to the reliably entertaining MTV movies blog, it seems Anderson's "Bottle Rocket," of which I am the proud owner of a very worn out VHS copy, will someday be getting the Criterion DVD treatment it surely deserves.

“We’ve just begun work with the Criterion Collection to do ‘Bottle Rocket’ on a new DVD that’s going to have all kinds of stuff," he told MTV. "There’s a lot of ‘Bottle Rocket’ that was on the cutting room floor, so we have a lot to work with on that one.”

Though I'd rank "Bottle Rocket" third in the Anderson Oeuvre, behind, respectively, "The Royal Tenenbaums" and then "Rushmore," it's still a damn fine flick well worthy of Criterion respect.

Yes, Will Smith can do anything he wants to ...

IGN is reporting this one simply as a rumor, but it was way too funny for me to pass up.

Perhaps only to prove he can, it seems Will Smith is behind a remake of "The Karate Kid" that would star - get ready - his currently 9-year-old son Jaden. I'd be more put off by this if I could manage to stop laughing.

"Deadwood" officially dead?

Sorry to leave things on a down note, but I did want to pass along what the great Ian McShane, a k a Al Swearengen, had to tell Cinematical about the possibility of two "Deadwood" movies to wrap the story up.

It seems Mr. McShane told the Cinematical folks that, as we all feared, HBO has indeed killed the idea.

"I just got a call on Friday from ... a dear friend of mine, who told me that they're packing up the ranch," McShane said. "They're dismantling the ranch and taking the stuff out. That ship is gonna sail. Bonsoir, Deadwood."

He went on to add: "You feel cheated? Imagine how I feel! We all do. We all do. It was one of those one-off jobs that you do which has got an extraordinary creative brain behind it, and it kept getting better, and the actors were great. It was a fabulous place to be and work. It was a workshop cum theater cum film. It was an extraordinary time. But everything has to come to an end, babe."

I guess it does, but that doesn't mean I have to be happy about it. Being constantly behind on things, I just finished season two of "Deadwood" and intend to watch the final season before moving on to season four of HBO's greatest series, "The Wire," come December. Though season one was better than No. 2, count me among the many big fans of this Western who are very sad to hear it won't be revived anytime soon.

"Golden Compass" goodness

Whew! Long report today, so anyone who made it this far indeed deserves a reward. Here's a pretty good "Golden Compass" featurette to enjoy. Peace out.

The Korean Godzilla attacks Macon!

Though I certainly respect and, when I can, support the Macon Film Guild's efforts to bring truly obscure movies to Macon, I never thought they'd get around to anything this much fun.

This Sunday at the Douglass Theatre they're showing "Gwoemul," better known in the U.S.A. as "The Host," and even more informally known as "The Korean Godzilla." Well, having seen this flick, I can tell you that while it's not quite as fun as the Godzilla flicks, it's pretty darn close, and well worth checking out on the Douglass screen.

The plot revolves around a fairly old dude who owns a snack bar on the banks of the Han River in Seoul. Everything seems to be going fairly well for he and his ragtag family until, very early on of course, a giant creature emerges from the depths of the river and abducts his daughter. From there on out it plays out predictably enough, but with lots of humor and just enough fright for me. I can't recommend this one highly enough.

The Douglass screenings are this Sunday at 2, 4:30 and 7:30 p.m., as always introduced by Camp Bacon and with a discussion following the 4:30 showing. I'll be at the early show, and I hope many Maconites will join me there.

Besides, what else is there to watch this weekend?

Rush Hour 3: No way in hell. Am I the only one who's wondering if Roman Polanski made some kind of karmic deal by which he's paying for all his past sins by agreeing to be pummeled by Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker in the latest installment of threequel summer?

Daddy Day Camp: Good Lord. In the trailer alone, the poor white dude who has to be Cuba Gooding Jr.'s sidekick gets covered in feces at least three different ways. It would be hard to call me an elitist, but I just can't see any possibly way I could watch that.

Stardust: Though I'm only mildly excited at best, I might give this a chance. It looks like a paint-by-numbers fantasy though, so I might wait for DVD.

Skinwalkers: I have no idea what this is, but judging from the title, I'd have to guess it's fairly generic horror aimed at folks more than slightly younger than me. If I'm somehow wrong about this, please let me know.

Rescue Dawn: Absolutely. Even if its Werner Herzog remaking one of his own documentaries ("Little Dieter Needs to Fly"), it's still a Herzog flick, and most likely a damn fine one at that. Christian Bale plays Dieter Dengler, a fighter pilot who gets shot down over Laos on his first flight mission in the Vietnam War and captured. From there on out, it apparently plays out as if "Rambo" were directed by Terrence Malick, so I'm definitely in. This one is only showing at the Regal Rivergate 14 in Macon, so please go see it there!

"Be Kind Rewind" preview

This does look awfully silly for the great Michel Gondry, but it should still be tons of fun.

For anyone who doesn't know, the flick, finally set to come out in January (I think), stars Jack Black and Mos Def (huzzah!) as employees of a video store (not DVD, of course) where all the tapes get erased due to their location next to a power plant. Our heroes, of course, set out to re-create all the erased movies and, according to the rather rough Comic-Con footage here, become quite the hit.

My favorite bits have to be Mos' declaration of "You're magnetized!" and Black's explanation of why they have no need to heed the FBI warning at the beginning of each tape, but even in these scant two-and-a-half minutes or so there are plenty of other things to like.



New Jason Isbell album

I picked up the solo debut from this former Drive-By Trucker last night, and while i'm still digesting it, there's a lot of strong stuff on "Sirens of the Ditch."

DBT fans be warned - this album never really rocks like the Truckers do, even though all of them except Mike Cooley (what the hell's up with that?) made significant contributions to this record. It's really a pop album with Isbell's still-developing songwriting touches, and really starts to pick up in the middle with the war gem "Dress Blues" through the bluesy "Hurricanes and Hand Grenades."

It was a dark day indeed when Mr. Isbell quit the Truckers, but they seem to have recovered fairly quickly, adding pedal-steel man John Neff (who I had the pleasure of meeting way back when he ran with Red River Dave and the Star Room Boys) as a permanent member and even recruiting Southern legend Spooner Oldham for their current tour (which, unfortunately, won't be coming to Macon.) We will, however, be getting a solo shot from Mr. Isbell at the Hummingbird Stage and Taproom Sept. 2, so definitely check that out.

And here is a great clip of Jason and the Truckers performing "Dress Blues" live at Stubbs in Texas. It's one of the best war songs I've heard in many, many years, so enjoy, and have an entirely suck-free Wednesday. Peace out.

Demko's DVD shelf: Why I love the Muppets so much

In one of my many moments of daily distraction yesterday, I stopped to think of just why I miss the Muppets so much. Was the show ever really that good, or am I simply letting nostalgia cloud my vision?

Well, this week on DVD comes the evidence that it's most likely the former. With season two of "The Muppet Show," you get guest stars including Judy Collins, Don Knotts, Bernadette Peters, George Burns, John Cleese and Bob Hope. And, of course, all your favorite Muppets, from Kermit the Frog on down to the Swedish Chef.

But just what made the Muppets so great, beyond the fact that it came on TV when I was 6 years old and, therefore, rather susceptible to a TV show with awesome puppets? Looking at what passes for "quality" TV nowadays (with a few exceptions that I still tune in for every week), I think I have the answer.

When's the last time there was a genuine variety show on primetime television? The closest thing I can think of (and yes, I understand it's not often on during primetime) is "Saturday Night Live," which hasn't been as funny as "The Muppet Show" since the late 70s. Dave Chappelle, by including great rap acts to close out every show and, of course, offering the funniest skit television in many years, came awfully close too before he cracked up (absolutely no pun intended.)

But the Muppets, in their own way, were every bit as funny as Dave Chappelle, albeit in a much more family-friendly way. Season 2 offers proof in the form of 24 episodes with great skits like "Pigs in Space" and "Veterinarian's Hospital" (there's no way you can't laugh at Rolf operating on his fellow animals.)

And the Muppets weren't just funny. The music, by Muppets and humans alike, was almost always fantastic too. In season two, you get Kermit crooning "It's not Easy Being Green" and Judy Collins' "Send in the Clowns," among many others.

If you don't like the Muppets, well, I guess I can understand that, but, well, I just kind of feel sorry for you.

Other picks this week:

The Simpsons: Season 10: Watching these again on DVD, I've yet to find the point where the shows stopped being fall-down funny. It had to happen sometime in the last five years or so, but until I find the turning point, I'll keep being a sucker for the DVDs.

Bubba Ho-Tep: I can't see any reason to put out yet another version of this on DVD except that we're soon to come upon the 30th anniversary of Elvis' death. Pretty shameless timing, but a great movie nonetheless. A nursing home with Bruce Campbell as Elvis and the late, great Ossie Davis as JFK as residents? It's even better than it sounds here, and almost as touching as it is funny. If you haven't seen it yet, do so now.

Crime Story: Instead of shelling out your hard-earned cash for yet another "Rush Hour" crapfest, why not rent a great Jackie Chan Hong Kong movie. In this one supposedly based on a true story, Jackie's a special agent (shocker!) assigned to protect a wealthy business magnate who gets kidnapped in a daring ambush. Jackie being Jackie, he kicks many butts to get him back, and its just fun to watch.

The most inappropriate Youtube clip ever?

Well, probably not, but I've yet to see one that made me laugh this hard, and it's been at least a week since I pimped for "Superbad," so here goes.

Be warned before you even think of clicking on this one at work: It features, many, many times, Jonah Hill's character drawing pictures of, well, the male unit. If that bothers you, please don't watch this, and I can't stress enough, please don't do so around any of your co-workers. I don't want to get anyone fired here.

If you do watch it, however, be prepared to laugh out loud. I can't tell you anymore except that it contains the words "Ghostbusters lunch box dick treasure chest" in that order. Enjoy!



And, if I didn't lose you with that perfectly crude bit of entertainment, why not another plug for the current best way to waste time on the Internet,
Clarkandmichael.com. Click on it for a very funny series of webisodes featuring George Michael Bluth Cera and bud Clark Duncan trying to pitch a TV series. It's just extremely funny stuff.

And, brace yourself, because it's about to get completely shameless around here. I have no idea if the movie "The Other Boleyn Girl" will be any good or not, and we'll have to wait until December or so to find out, but for now we get this poster featuring Natalie Portman and Scarlett Johansson in rather alluring attire (and, if your eyes can find him in the middle, that is indeed Eric Bana.) Hope this makes your Tuesday just a little more bearable. Peace out.