Oscar predictions: Just how wrong can I be?

On the odd chance that I somehow do get these mostly right, be assured that I did indeed type this in early Tuesday morning, well before the actual nominations were announced on the TV. And though I have no idea which celebrity will help with the announcing, here's hoping it's someone with even a tenth the charm of last year's Salma Hayek (and please, God forbid, not John Travolta in a fat suit and drag.)

So, without further ado, here are my predictions for seven of the top categories, along with, in some cases, which names you would be hearing if I ruled the world.

Best Picture
"There Will Be Blood"
"No Country for Old Men"
"Atonement"
"Sweeney Todd"
"Juno"

If I ruled the world: My picks for the top five movies of 2007, whittled down from the top 10, are: "Into the Wild," "No Country for Old Men," "Once," "Ratatouille" and "The Savages," and as I've stated in this space many times, my imaginary vote would be loudly for "Ratatouille" as the big winner.

Note: Unlike the academy, I always think the directors of all the Best Picture nominees should be automatically nominated for Best Director, so I would predict the nominees will be Paul Thomas Anderson, Joel & Ethan Coen, Joe Wright, Tim Burton and Jason Reitman.

Best Actress:
Keira Knightley, "Atonement"
Helena Bonham Carter, "Sweeney Todd"
Ellen Page, "Juno"
Julie Christie, "Away from Her"
Laura Linney, "The Savages"

If I ruled the world: Marketa Irglova's sublime performance as "The Girl" in "Once" would definitely be on the above list.

Best Actor:
Daniel Day Lewis, "There Will Be Blood"
Johnny Depp, "Sweeney Todd"
James McAvoy, "Atonement"
Denzel Washington, "American Gangster"
George Clooney, "Michael Clayton"

If I ruled the world: It's hard to argue with Lewis, who I'd have to call the prohibitive favorite in this category, but I'd also love to see Emile Hirsch in "Into the Wild," Javier Bardem in "No Country for Old Men"(supporting actor my ass!), Chris Cooper for "Breach" and, yes, why not Micheal Cera for "Superbad" on this list too. Comedies need love too, after all.

Supporting Actress:
Saoirse Ronan, "Atonement"
Kelly Macdonald, "No Country for Old Men"
Ruby Dee, "American Gangster"
Amy Ryan, "Gone Baby Gone"
Allison Janney, "Juno"

If I ruled the world: I think this is easily the strongest category this year, and can't quibble with any of these if they are indeed the nominees. My money would be on Ruby Dee to win, but if there could be more than five nominees I'd love to see Catherine Keener for "Into the Wild" and Jennifer Jason Leigh for "Margot at the Wedding" each get some props.

Supporting Actor:
Hal Holbrook, "Into the Wild"
Phillip Seymour Hoffman, "Charlie Wilson's War"
Javier Bardem, "No Country for Old Men"
Tom Wilkinson, "Michael Clayton"
Paul Dano, "There Will Be Blood"

If I ruled the world: I'd have to predict Bardem will win this one fairly easily, but I'd still say no one defined the role of supporting actor better in 2007 than Holbrook, who just took over "Into the Wild" for the short time he was on screen. I would also nominate Robert Downey Jr. for "Zodiac" and, heartily, Peter O'Toole for the voice of Anton Ego in "Ratatouille."

Adapted Screenplay:
"There Will Be Blood," Paul Thomas Anderson (novel by Upton Sinclair)
"No Country for Old Men," Joel & Ethan Coen (novel by Cormac McCarthy)
"Atonement," Christopher Hampton (novel by Ian McEwan)
"Into the Wild," Sean Penn (novel by Jon Krakauer)
"Kite Runner," David Benoiff (novel by Khaled Hosseini)

If I ruled the world: Though it won't happen, I'd love to see some love for Marjane Satrapi and Vincent Paronnaud for adapting Satrapi's graphic novels into the fine flick "Persepolis."

Original Screenplay:
"Juno," Diablo Cody
"The Savages," Tamara Jenkins
"Michael Clayton," Tony Gilroy
"American Gangster," Steven Zaillian*
"Waitress," Adrienne Shelly
* This was actually adapted from a newspaper article by Mark Jacobson, so may not qualify in this category.

If I ruled the world: A final plea, sure to fall on deaf ears, for some recognition for "Ratatouille," here for the often-magical script by Brad Bird.

And there you have it. I'll update this today if I have time, but if not, please feel free to add your two cents in the comments, and believe me, no amount of venom for the Academy is forbidden today. Peace out.

RIP Borat: A comedy legend bows out just in time

Sacha Baron Cohen must have at some point turned down a big bucket of cash before making this announcement, to which I can only say huzzah.

As he recently told London's Daily Telegraph, SBC is retiring both the characters of aspiring rapper Ali G and, more importantly, the belovedly clueless Kazakh journalist Borat Sagdiyev.

Now, don't get me wrong here. Like just about everyone who loves to laugh, I just adored "Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan." I just can't imagine what hoops he would have had to jump through to have his encounters retain any spontaneity, or how much of it he would have been willing to give up had he chosen to make any kind of sequel. Here's what he had to say to Variety:

"When I was being Ali G and Borat I was in character sometimes 14 hours a day and I came to love them, so admitting I am never going to play them again is quite a sad thing. It is like saying goodbye to a loved one. It is hard, and the problem with success, although it's fantastic, is that every new person who sees the Borat movie is one less person I `get' with Borat again, so it's a kind of self-defeating form, really."

Well, it's certainly refreshing to see someone in the entertainment business knows when to move on, but what does that mean now for SBC fans? Well, everyone should see him as Signor Adolfo Pirelli in Tim Burton's blood-spattered-but-brilliant "Sweeney Todd," and he has some more potentially very funny stuff coming after that.

First up will be "Bruno," the fashionista journalist based on another Ali G character, which I can't say I enjoy nearly as much as I did Borat. After that, however, things should only get better.

His next credit is for something called "Curly Oxide and Vic Thrill," which just sounds like tons of fun. Apparently based on a book by little-known punker Thrill and written by Tina Fey, it's the autobiographical tale of Thrill's partnership with a Hasidic musician, who I can only assume will be played by SBC. After that will be "Dinner for Schmucks," which has this tagline that sounds tailormade for his comedic talents: "An extraordinarily stupid man possesses the ability to ruin the life of anyone who spends more than a few minutes in his company." (Actually, I think I have some of that talent myself.)

So, RIP Borat, and thanks for knowing exactly when to exit the stage.

Rainn Wilson's got the "Spirit"

Even if there is some kind of Golden Globes ceremony broadcast Jan. 13, you certainly won't find me tuning in if there's any kind of writers' strike still going on (and, let's face it, there really doesn't seem to be any kind of progress being made.) For those of you who get the Independent Film Channel, though (which I do not), there will be some awards season respite on the way.

The very funny Rainn Wilson, who stars as Dwight Schrute on "The Office" and appeared for, oh, about 30 seconds or so in "Juno," has received a WGA waiver and will be hosting the 2008 Spirit Awards, set to take place at 5 p.m. Feb. 23 (one day before the Oscars, if there are any this year) and broadcast live by IFC.

Since I've already got to make a cable switch to pick up HBO again in time for the Sunday, Jan. 6, return of "The Wire," a k a the greatest television show of all time, I may as well dump the sports tier of my digital cable and pick up the movie tier instead, which would give me IFC again and, of course, lots of movies, which I've never yet found to be anything approaching a bad thing.

New trailer for "The Forbidden Kingdom"

If you're returning to work today like me (though I'm off again starting Friday and headed to NYC for four days of movies and more with the family), the silliness that is this new trailer for Rob Minkoff's (yes, the director of "Stuart Little") upcoming kung fu epic starring both Jackie Chan and Jet Li will hopefully make it a little easier. I do have to wonder, though, just how much Mr. Li is going to have to do with this, since he makes no appearance in this new trailer. Even so, enjoy, and have a perfectly pleasant Boxing Day. Peace out.

Burton's "Sweeney Todd" is just about pitch-perfect

In just about every second of "Sweeney Todd" you get what looks like a movie that could have only come from the delightfully twisted mind of Tim Burton. Which, of course, it didn't, exactly.

Just as the Coens did perfectly with Cormac McCarthy's "No Country for Old Men," Burton here has adapted another's work, Stephen Sondheim's famed musical, and made it all his own. But whereas the Coens made their mark largely with dialogue, most of what will linger with you for a long time after watching "Sweeney Todd" is its stark and stunning look.

Burton's and Todd's London is indeed "a hole in the world like a great black pit/and the vermin of the world inhabit it," but much of the joy in watching "Sweeney Todd" is in seeing the bits of color seep through, from Mrs. Lovett's hair as she descends the stairwell from the barbershop to the blood, buckets and buckets which we all know will eventually cover the screen (but more about that later.)

As a musical, I'm sure it helped that, although I do know more than a bit about Broadway, about "Sweeney Todd" I knew very little to nothing at all going in. Even with Sondheim directly involved, there were certainly beloved songs that had to be chopped to make this clock in at less than two hours. And one thing that was left out and was a definite plus was any appearance by the musical butcher himself, Danny Elfman. Only after the opening credits had finished was I able to get over my fear that a blood-spattered Oompa-Loompa was gonna pop out at any second.

As he made clear in the New York Times recently, Sondheim considers this easily one of the best musical adaptations of Broadway to the big screen yet, and I have to agree with him. I can't quite go as far as he did in attacking the more phonily staged numbers of "West Side Story," for which I still have undying love, but he's right that there is a fluidity to "Sweeney Todd" that never lets you think you're watching a filmed stage musical rather than a natural movie that just happens to be full of singing.

And how do our main singers fare in this? Extremely and surprisingly well. I don't think Johnny Depp (the demon barber himself) or Helena Bonham Carter (Mrs. Lovett) will be headed to Broadway themselves anytime soon, but they each bring their own strengths to the roles and take them over. Depp never leaves any doubt that Sweeney Todd is, indeed, just mad as a diseased cow, and Bonham Carter takes Mrs. Lovett in a completely different direction from what has been done before on stage by Angela Lansbury or Patti Lupone, channeling her inner Bellatrix to make the pie maker's many funny lines even more twisted.

There was one moment near the beginning when I feared this movie was going to turn toward "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" territory rather than something approaching Burton's best work, which for me is still "The Nightmare Before Christmas." It comes as Sweeney Todd gets off the boat and heads into London. Rather than letting us take it in, the camera suddenly zooms through the streets, jumping from spot to spot until it finally rests at Mrs. Lovett's shop. It was just thoroughly out of place, but luckily just about the only discordant in this otherwise very pleasing piece. (My only other complaint, and it's really just a quibble, is that I had heard Anthony Head of "Buffy" fame was going to be in this, but if it was he had exactly one line in the market scene stolen away by Sacha Baron Cohen.)

But what about all that blood? Well, if you went into a Tim Burton movie with the words "Demon Barber" in the title and weren't ready for a river of blood to flow than you simply need to do more homework before going to the movies. And yes, when Todd does indeed start cutting throats rather than hair (I really can't be giving too much away here, can I?), there does seem to be blood all over the screen, but it really couldn't have ended any other way. Watching as it slowly consumes the formerly almost colorless palate is the perfect way to convey Todd's descent into complete madness, and the final blood-covered scene is one that will stick with you for a long, long time.

But, unfortunately, just about the only things left standing at the end of this bloodbath were those damn Chipmunks, who managed to hold onto third place and knock "Sweeney Todd" down to fifth (behind even "Charlie Wilson's War," which I also thoroughly enjoyed, but more about that tomorrow.) Though it's obviously not for everyone, I hope more people will take a chance on "Sweeney Todd" this week, because if you have a slightly warped view of the world it indeed makes just about the perfect Christmas movie. Peace out, and have a merry, merry Christmas!

"Terminate" this TV project immediately

I don't really like being in the business of telling people not to watch something, especially when I haven't seen it yet myself. It's just not my natural setting, I guess.

That said, I several times had to sit through a commercial Sunday night during Fox's Sunday night animated lineup, which was pretty darn funny. Just in case anyone out there has more of a life than me (which often isn't much of a challenge), I can tell you it was for Fox's simply craptastic take on the "Terminator" saga. I do hope I'm wrong about this, but it just gives me a really queasy feeling.

Which is a real shame, because being a devoted "Firefly"/"Serenity" fan, I wish nothing but the best for Summer Glau (which would be, of course, a revival of "Firefly" on the Sci-Fi Channel, but that keeps getting less and less likely.

So, what's my beef with this new "Terminator"? Well, besides that it's just thoroughly unnecessary, my animosity peaked Sunday night when I heard this rather unwitty exchange between whatever yarnhead is now playing John Connor and the Terminator played by Ms. Glau, as they're getting into a car:

Connor: I'll take shotgun.
Glau: I'll take 9-millimeter.

Now, if that's not enough to make all you Ahnold fans out there cringe, the terminator played by Ms. Glau is actually named Cameron. Believe me, I couldn't make this stuff up.

But why should I get so worked up about a silly TV show that doesn't even premiere until Jan. 13 on Fox? Well, the short answer is I probably shouldn't, but "The Terminator" series has always been close to my heart if for no better reason than Salisbury, Md., the tiny burg where I spent my entire childhood, is also the hometown of Linda Hamilton (and Frank Perdue the late chicken king, for that matter.) Besides, is it too much to ask that my favorite movie franchises not get watered down to pure garbage?

I know that, with the writers' strike ongoing, your choices will be limited this winter, but please, please, please don't watch this new "Terminator."

Good things to come

I had planned to offer an equally bitter comment about Will Smith's "I Am Legend," but seeing that it made $76.5 million this past weekend, the biggest December opening ever, just zapped all the energy out of me to do so.

I'll just say this: The key to my disappointment with "I Am Legend" is pretty much summed up in the movie by Smith's Robert Neville himself. Neville, along with supposedly searching for the cure to a virus he helped create but is somehow immune to, spends a lot of time listening to Bob Marley.

Now, I've got nothing at all against Mr. Marley, and am in fact listening to "Legend" right now (I'd have to imagine that the makers of this movie thought the coincidence in titles was rather clever.) But, back to my rather longwinded point. Of all the great Bob Marley tunes out there, Neville is fixated on "Three Little Birds," easily the most generic one of all.

To me, the movie "I Am Legend" exists in the same realm, a completely tired tale about a man-made virus (stop me if you've seen "28 Days Later" or any number of better movies on this subject) that manages to build very little interest at all before trotting out monsters that were swiped most directly from the end of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" but could come from any number of paint-by-numbers horror flicks. The best thing about "I Am Legend," in fact, was the two trailers that ran before it, one for "Iron Man" and a simply sensational look at "Dark Knight" (Heath's Joker is just gonna kick royal ass.)

And one more thing, while were on the subject. As cool as director Francis Lawrence's vision of post-apocalyptic New York is, I'd like to call for an immediate moratorium on blowing up my favorite city in the world on the big screen. I don't know why movie directors get such a thrill out of decimating NYC, but I'm just damn tired of seeing it. 'Nuff said.

But, enough bile for a Monday morning. For the first time in well, a very long time, there are actually three movies coming out this weekend that I want to see.

I'm thoroughly on board the Dewey Cox bandwagon, and am convinced that "Walk Hard" will be that rare spoof that manages to sustain its gag and be funny from start to finish. And, though I can definitely take or leave Tom Hanks, the teaming up of Mike Nichols and Aaron Sorkin for "Charlie Wilson's War" should also be pretty entertaining too.

The one I most want to see, however, is Tim Burton's "Sweeney Todd." I'll find out tomorrow morning if this one is too bloody to open in my little corner of the world this weekend, which I fear may be the case but obviously hope won't be.

Three movies worth seeing? Now that's what I call a Christmas gift!

And, since anyone who sat through all that certainly deserves a reward, here's the trailer for "Leatherheads," the football flick starring George Clooney, John Krasinski and, I have the misfortune of telling you, Renee Zellweger. Enjoy, and have an entirely bearable Monday. Peace out.

A great movie resource for parents ... and everyone else too

Nell Minow, who has been Yahoo's "Movie Mom" for years now, has now taken the title with her for her own blog/review site, a welcome addition to the wide Web of film criticism.

Now, don't let the title Movie Mom scare you, or the fact that her blog is part of the Beliefnet Christian Web site. Though Nell takes into consideration all the factors that might concern parents with a movie, she also reviews flicks for their genuine entertainment value, and does so with style.

For instance, I happen to know that Nell is a big fan of both "Grindhouse" and "Shoot 'Em Up," hardly two movies you would think of as family fare. And though I'm not sure I can fully agree with her here, she gives "Live Free or Die Hard" a B+ in this week's DVD reviews.

Frankly, whether you agree with the Christian angle or not, Nell's reviews are a good sight better than almost anything else you'll find that takes families into consideration. To read her latest reviews, visit the new Movie Mom site here.

RIP Fernando Fernán Gómez

I have to admit that the name Fernando Fernán Gómez didn't mean anything to me until my co-worker Karen, who despite having the surname Ludwig is rather proud to have Spanish blood flowing through her veins, pointed out to me that he had died.

It turns out, as a quick visit to the IMDB confirmed, that the Peruvian actor appeared in 212 films in his long career, including starring in one of my all-time favorites, "El Espíritu de la Colmena," a k a "Spirit of the Beehive." If you haven't seen this flick about two Spanish girls and their quest to find the Frankenstein monster, do so as soon as possible (I think you can still find it on DVD.) He also starred as the pater familias in "Belle Epoque" and had a big role in Pedro Almodóvar's "Todo sobre mi madre" ("All About My Mother"). Rest in peace, Mr. Gómez.

Can Johnny Depp actually sing?

If I remember correctly he may have already done so in John Waters' "Cry Baby," but that's still a key question surrounding Tim Burton's "Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street."

Well, the answer, judging from this clip of him in the studio singing is only kind of, but probably good enough to serve the purposes of this flick. Judge for yourself, and have a perfectly pleasant turkey day.