No more movies with George Clooney in the lead?

Granted, the question above is pretty ridiculous, but the rather sorry performance of Clooney's "Leatherheads" brought to mind an even sillier statement allegedly made (but of course denied!) last October by the president of production at Warner Bros.

You may remember that, after the twin tankings of Jodie Foster's "The Brave One" and Nicole Kidman's "The Invasion," Jeff Robinov was quoted, first by Nikki Finke, as saying "we are no longer doing movies with women in the lead." Though I can certainly understand what put him in such a foul mood, that statement was just as stupid then as it is now.

But a look at the box office numbers brings up a valid question. In it's opening weekend, Clooney's flick took in a rather paltry $13.5 million, and didn't even manage to win the weekend, finishing second to "21" with $15.1 million (and really just a hair above "Nim's Island.")

Now, let's flash back to "The Brave One" which, for the record, was easily one of the worst movies I saw in all of 2007. In its opening weekend, Jodie Foster's super-silly revenge flick took in $13,471,488, virtually identical to the take of "Leatherheads." It would go on to compile a $36,793,804 domestic box office total, which at this point would have to be considered a good outcome for Clooney's flick.

So, I offer you all that to ask you this: Will there be any similar hand-wringing over this latest failure? Will any studio executive be quoted as saying they won't "even look at a script with a Clooney lead"?

Of course not, but that's just the kind of double standard that's enough to set me off on a Monday morning with less than a full cup of coffee in my system. But why did Clooney's movie fare so poorly?

Well, in its favor, it had three fairly bankable stars in Clooney, Renee Zellweger and John Krasinski, and of course everyone in America loves football, right? Plus, despite the fact it had sat on the shelf for years before Clooney scooped it up, reliable Sports Illustrated scribe Rick Reilly contributed to the script (along with first-time screenwriter Duncan Brantley.)

So, what happened? You can chalk this one up as a "victory" for critics if you want to. From all the reviews I read, director Clooney and his writers played it too safe both in terms of humor and on-field action, and therefore didn't come up with enough to keep audiences entertained. Older moviegoers (of which, it's rather sad to report, I am apparently one) still listen to critics, and therefore just stayed home.

Or something like that anyway. Personally, I'm just looking forward to a good movie of any kind this year, no matter who's in the lead role. I'm tentatively putting my money on "Street Kings" this week, but not with terribly high hopes.

Casting W's cabinet

Now that Oliver Stone has cast the first family - plus his mommy and daddy - for "W," it's now time to fill out the cabinet and staff, where things could get much more interesting.

The roster so far: Josh Brolin is W, Elizabeth Banks is Laura Bush, Ellyn Burstyn gets the rather ignominious honor of playing Barbara Bush, and James Cromwell (hearty huzzah!) is W's daddy. The news today is that, since Stone clearly likes insanely beautiful women, Thandie Newton will play Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice, and Ioan Gruffudd will play W's brother in (making other people take up) arms, Tony Blair.

Which means there are still plenty of juicy roles to fill, including Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld and Karl Rove. For Cheney you could certainly do worse than Jason Alexander, but I've got an even more solid TV choice to play Karl Rove.

Remember that "Halloween" episode of "The Office" in which Dwight was so proud of his Sith Lord costume? If there was a better dead ringer for Karl Rove, I haven't seen it, so I'm officially on the Rainn Wilson bandwagon.

And in slightly more serious "Office" news, the show does indeed return beginning this Thursday, so set your DVR. And, even better, NBC announced at its recent upfront that "The Office" will get 28 episodes next year, with the first four being hourlong specials, and then a spinoff to premiere after the Super Bowl. Bring it all on!

"Blindness" trailer

I'm fairly confident that we'll have some great movies before October this year, but if not Fernando Meirelles will be back to hopefully save the day.

"Blindness," Meirelles' follow-up to "The Constant Gardener" and the perfect "Cidade de Deus," is based on the Pulitzer Prize-winning novel by José Saramago and is about a city that is struck by a mysterious plague of, well, blindness. As you can see from what I believe is the first trailer below, it stars Julianne Moore, Mark Ruffalo (double huzzah!) and Gael Garcia Bernal (and, though she's not in the trailer, the lovely Alice Braga too.) Enjoy, and have a perfectly bearable Monday. Peace out.

Pegg and Wright, together again? Frak yeah!

That last bit of juvenilia was, of course, in honor of the premiere of the fourth season of "Battlestar Galactica" tonight (or earlier), but we'll get to more on that later.

The almost-as-good news today is that Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg, the comedy masterminds behind "Shaun of the Dead" and "Hot Fuzz," will join forces again for a third film, to be titled "The World's End." Though I don't know anything about the plot beyond the title, judging from their first two very funny films I'd have to guess this one will be a spoof on/valentine to sci-fi flicks.

I just couldn't bring myself to watch Simon Pegg in "Run Fatboy Run," and I don't have very high hopes he's gonna be terribly funny in "How to Lose Friends and Alienate People," due in October, either. I mean, I hate to pigeonhole the man, but he's clearly at his best with his friends, and thankfully he seems to realize that too.

"The World's End" is part of a two-picture deal Wright has signed with Working Title. Before reteaming with Pegg, he'll make something for the studio called "Baby Driver," which is described as "a wild spin on the action and crime genre which will be set in the US." Cool enough.

Even before that, me thinks, Wright will also be making "Scott Pilgrim vs. the World" with veryfunnyman Michael Cera based on the graphic novel about a young lad (Cera) who has to do battle with his new girlfriend's seven exes.

That's almost too much funny, but given the mediocre slate of movies we have right now, I really don't think that's possible. Bring it all on!

Remember Olivia Williams?

I have to confess I didn't immediately without seeing her picture, but Williams is, of course, the school teacher hot enough to make Max Fischer try to build an aquarium on a baseball field.

I loved her in "Rushmore" (which I once drove two hours to D.C. just to see), but really haven't seen much of her at all since. A quick look at her IMDB resume reveals that she has been working steadily, but not in a movie that I have managed to see since 1999's "The Sixth Sense."

Now, however, she's back in something I'll definitely tune in for, Joss Whedon's return to TV in the form of "Dollhouse."

On the Fox show about drones programmed to execute various missions (the "dolls," of which Eliza Dushku, thankfully, is the main one), Williams will play the ruthless matron who controls the "Dollhouse." I have to say, I'd do just about anything Olivia Williams asked me to, whether she was being "ruthless" or not.

Actually, looking back at the IMDB, it also says she had an "uncredited" role in "X-Men: The Last Stand" as Dr. Moira MacTaggart. Can anyone remember that? I've just wiped every memory of that awful mess from my mind completely.

The bottom line: The world is certainly a better place with more Rosemary Cross in it.

"Battlestar Galactica" is back!

It would be hard to overstate just how geeked up I am for the fourth season of "Battlestar Galactica," which premieres at 10 tonight on the Sci-Fi Channel or, if you have a fast hookup, even earlier (at noon EST) on line here.

What's so good about "Battlestar"? Well, it's extremely smart science fiction, and also at times very funny. It tries and almost always succeeds to be a biting commentary on our society, and is easily the best show on TV right now (with "The Wire" gone for good.)

Phillip Ramati, a k a the TV Guy, was luckily (and enterprising) enough to get an advance copy and reports that, not surprisingly at all, it's as good as ever. He doesn't reveal any serious spoilers, but for just a tease read what he had to say about it here.

As for me, I'm gonna brave one trip to the multiplex this weekend, but it won't be for George Clooney's "Leatherheads." Against all my better judgment, I'm actually gonna take a chance on "The Ruins" and hope to find something suitably entertaining and creepy. Peace out.

"Terminate" this TV project immediately

I don't really like being in the business of telling people not to watch something, especially when I haven't seen it yet myself. It's just not my natural setting, I guess.

That said, I several times had to sit through a commercial Sunday night during Fox's Sunday night animated lineup, which was pretty darn funny. Just in case anyone out there has more of a life than me (which often isn't much of a challenge), I can tell you it was for Fox's simply craptastic take on the "Terminator" saga. I do hope I'm wrong about this, but it just gives me a really queasy feeling.

Which is a real shame, because being a devoted "Firefly"/"Serenity" fan, I wish nothing but the best for Summer Glau (which would be, of course, a revival of "Firefly" on the Sci-Fi Channel, but that keeps getting less and less likely.

So, what's my beef with this new "Terminator"? Well, besides that it's just thoroughly unnecessary, my animosity peaked Sunday night when I heard this rather unwitty exchange between whatever yarnhead is now playing John Connor and the Terminator played by Ms. Glau, as they're getting into a car:

Connor: I'll take shotgun.
Glau: I'll take 9-millimeter.

Now, if that's not enough to make all you Ahnold fans out there cringe, the terminator played by Ms. Glau is actually named Cameron. Believe me, I couldn't make this stuff up.

But why should I get so worked up about a silly TV show that doesn't even premiere until Jan. 13 on Fox? Well, the short answer is I probably shouldn't, but "The Terminator" series has always been close to my heart if for no better reason than Salisbury, Md., the tiny burg where I spent my entire childhood, is also the hometown of Linda Hamilton (and Frank Perdue the late chicken king, for that matter.) Besides, is it too much to ask that my favorite movie franchises not get watered down to pure garbage?

I know that, with the writers' strike ongoing, your choices will be limited this winter, but please, please, please don't watch this new "Terminator."

Good things to come

I had planned to offer an equally bitter comment about Will Smith's "I Am Legend," but seeing that it made $76.5 million this past weekend, the biggest December opening ever, just zapped all the energy out of me to do so.

I'll just say this: The key to my disappointment with "I Am Legend" is pretty much summed up in the movie by Smith's Robert Neville himself. Neville, along with supposedly searching for the cure to a virus he helped create but is somehow immune to, spends a lot of time listening to Bob Marley.

Now, I've got nothing at all against Mr. Marley, and am in fact listening to "Legend" right now (I'd have to imagine that the makers of this movie thought the coincidence in titles was rather clever.) But, back to my rather longwinded point. Of all the great Bob Marley tunes out there, Neville is fixated on "Three Little Birds," easily the most generic one of all.

To me, the movie "I Am Legend" exists in the same realm, a completely tired tale about a man-made virus (stop me if you've seen "28 Days Later" or any number of better movies on this subject) that manages to build very little interest at all before trotting out monsters that were swiped most directly from the end of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" but could come from any number of paint-by-numbers horror flicks. The best thing about "I Am Legend," in fact, was the two trailers that ran before it, one for "Iron Man" and a simply sensational look at "Dark Knight" (Heath's Joker is just gonna kick royal ass.)

And one more thing, while were on the subject. As cool as director Francis Lawrence's vision of post-apocalyptic New York is, I'd like to call for an immediate moratorium on blowing up my favorite city in the world on the big screen. I don't know why movie directors get such a thrill out of decimating NYC, but I'm just damn tired of seeing it. 'Nuff said.

But, enough bile for a Monday morning. For the first time in well, a very long time, there are actually three movies coming out this weekend that I want to see.

I'm thoroughly on board the Dewey Cox bandwagon, and am convinced that "Walk Hard" will be that rare spoof that manages to sustain its gag and be funny from start to finish. And, though I can definitely take or leave Tom Hanks, the teaming up of Mike Nichols and Aaron Sorkin for "Charlie Wilson's War" should also be pretty entertaining too.

The one I most want to see, however, is Tim Burton's "Sweeney Todd." I'll find out tomorrow morning if this one is too bloody to open in my little corner of the world this weekend, which I fear may be the case but obviously hope won't be.

Three movies worth seeing? Now that's what I call a Christmas gift!

And, since anyone who sat through all that certainly deserves a reward, here's the trailer for "Leatherheads," the football flick starring George Clooney, John Krasinski and, I have the misfortune of telling you, Renee Zellweger. Enjoy, and have an entirely bearable Monday. Peace out.

Who won't be on "The Simpsons" this fall?

I saw Michael Moore's "Sicko" last weekend and was mildly disappointed. I'm still trying to put my finger on exactly why, so in the meantime here's the best news I could find this morning.

In a shameless attempt to ride the hype wave for this week's "Simpsons" movie, which I have decided will just be tons of funny (and of course I do have control over that), here's some details about characters and plots for the next season on Fox.

I have to admit, I've often been annoyed by the show in recent years. The writers often seem so distracted that they are unable to string together even a half hour's worth of coherent plot. When it's on target, however, it's still well worth watching.

In the season premiere, "He Loves to Fly and He D'ohs" (Sept. 23), Homer saves Mr. Burns from drowning in a mall fountain (funny already) and is rewarded with a flight to Chicago on Burns' private plane. In the course of all this, guest star Lionel Richie somehow ends up serenading our hero with "Say You, Say Me," and then Homer enlists a life coach (Stephen Colbert) to help him find a job that offers him the use of a corporate jet.

In "I Don't Wanna Know Why The Caged Bird Sings" (Sept. 30), Marge convinces a bank robber (Steve Buscemi) to turn himself in with the promise that she will visit him in prison. When she doesn't, he escapes to find her.

This next one sounds like it's actually a dream from my own head. In "Husband and Knives," Milo (guest voice Jack Black) opens Coolsville Comics & Toys directly across the street from Comic Book Guy's store. At Milo's store, the kids get to meet cool folks like Alan Moore, Art Spiegleman and Daniel Clowes. Sheesh. I guess when you've been on the air for 19 years you really can do anything you want to.

Later in the season, Kelsey Grammer, David Hyde Pierce and John Mahoney are reunited playing Sideshow Bob, his brother and father, respectively, and Jon Stewart, Matt Dillon, Maya Rudolph, Dan Rather, Placido Domingo, Kurt Loder, Weird Al Yankovic, Beverly D'Angelo and Topher Grace also pay Springfield a visit.

In the meantime, I'll be imagining what's coming with Friday's movie instead of thinking about my actual job.

A "Family Guy" movie?

Can you imagine how many gags it would take to fill even a 90-minute "Family Guy" movie? It could quite possibly be joke overload, but I'd definitely be there to find out.

Creator Seth MacFarlane told the Hollywood Reporter that a flick could soon be in the works.

"We have been trying to figure out how to do that and the series at the same time without the series suffering," MacFarlane said. One possibility is having longtime writer Ricky Blitt (writer of one of the worst movies I've ever seen, "The Ringer," so take that into consideration) work on a script for the flick.

Whatever comes of it, MacFarlane couldn't resist taking a shot at the "Simpsons" movie and its rather insane (but still secret) plot: "I don't want to do 'The Griffins must save the world,' " he said.

Tucci landing killer role

These next three casting tidbits are just nearly perfect. Stanley Tucci is in negotiations to play the pivotal role of killer George Harvey in Peter Jackson's adaptation of "The Lovely Bones."

Rachel Weisz and Ryan Gosling are already on board as the parents of Susie Salmon (newcomer Saoirse Ronan), a 14-year-old who has been raped and killed by a neighbor she refers to as Mr. Harvey. Alice Sebold's best-selling 2002 novel is told from the perspective of Susie, who looks down on her family and Harvey from the afterlife.

It seems like this flick has been taking shape forever now, but it's apparently finally set to begin shooting in October in Pennsylvania and Jackson's native New Zealand.

Chow down on this!

According to the L.A. Times' movie blog, Seth Rogen isn't afraid to bring on a sidekick with even better comic timing than he has for "The Green Hornet."

According to the paper, Rogen let it slip at Comic-Con that he wants none other than Stephen Chow to play his sidekick Kato, who was played on TV by Bruce Lee. I can't see any possible way that wouldn't be tons of fun, but there's no word yet if Chow is willing. Here's hoping!

Possibly the world's most beautiful woman joins 'Che' pics

If you somehow haven't seen "Maria Full of Grace," drop whatever you have planned for tonight and get thee to a video store. It's that good.

Now, "Maria" star Catalina Sandino Moreno has signed on to Stephen Soderbergh's two upcoming Che Guevara flicks, "The Argentine" and "Guerilla," which are set to begin shooting Wednesday in Spain. Benicio Del Toro is set to play Che, and though I'm not sure which role the lovely Ms. Sandino Moreno will play, she falls squarely into the category of women I will watch do just about anything.


Yes, John Krasinski will get to be in a good movie

Justjared.com has what it says is the first pic from the screwball comedy "Leatherheads," which I've of course swiped. Though I'll take Mandy Moore over Renee Zellweger any day, it looks like John Krasinski will emerge from the wreckage of "License to Wed" unscathed.

In the fictionalized account of the origins of the NFL, George Clooney plays the coach of a wannabe pro football team in the 1920s and Krasinski plays the World War I hero/star football player. Ms. Zellweger gets caught between the two in some kind of love triangle or other.

Though he can be an awfully smug bastard, Clooney is also a damn fine movie director (and Soderbergh is on board to help with the script), so I have high hopes for this one.

New "No Country for Old Men" poster

I still have a day job, so I'll have to wrap this up quick, but here's a parting gift: a new poster for the Coens' upcoming take on Cormac McCarthy's "No Country for old Men." Enjoy, and have an entirely bearable Monday. Peace out.