Harvey Weinstein hates you

Well, only if you live in the middle or South of the U.S.A., but more on that later.

If you missed out on "Grindhouse," and unless the Box Office numbers are just a big hoax, many, many of you did, you may have already missed your opportunity to see it. Or at least that's what Harvey Weinstein wants you to believe.

Personally, I think he's just full of ... . He knows that $12 million is embarrassing no matter how you spin it, so he's threatening to do something asinine in an attempt to make a highly unlikely week-two comeback. Hence the following, from Nikki Finke's Deadline Hollywood Daily column:

Harvey Weinstein told me this morning that he's "incredibly disappointed" with the half-than-expected $12 mil box office for Grindhouse released on Easter Weekend (a controversial move itself). So much so, that he's considering abandoning the double feature as a single feature concept and re-releasing the Quentin Tarantino/Robert Rodriguez movie around the U.S. "in a couple of weeks" as two separate feature-length movies with additional footage put in.

He just gets better and better, so please indulge me with some more quotes from her column:

"Our research showed the length kept people away. It was the single biggest deterrent. It was 3 hours and 12 minutes long. We originally intended to get it all in in 2 hours, 30 minutes." ... And the body blow: "We didn't educate the South or Midwest. In the West and the East, the movie played well. It played well in strong urban settings. But we missed the boat on the Midwest and the South."

Huh? So, it's our fault that your double feature of '70s schlock tributes tanked on one of the most family-friendly weekends of the year? That not many folks dragged their kids to see a zombie movie in which, at one point, Quentin Tarantino's testicles melt (there's no way to describe just how disgusting it is, you just have to see it.)

In spite of this infantile outburst from Mr. Weinstein, I do encourage everyone who enjoys Tarantino or Rodriguez movies to give this a chance, because its just tons of fun.

As for the split threat? I think it's an empty one, at least for the next month or so. Doing so, with another marketing campaign, would just be ridiculously expensive. And it would just kill any possible word of mouth, which was an unlikely development anyway.

Does it have a prayer this weekend? Probably not, given the full slate: "Disturbia," "Perfect Stranger," "Redline," "Slow Burn" and "Pathfinder." Not much in there that appeals to me, but certainly enough to muddy the waters for a "Grindhouse" recovery.

Face it, Mr. Weinstein: You indulged your two favorite directors in an artistic success that has turned into a marketing disaster. Crying about it won't help, nor will calling everyone who just said "no" an idiot.

DVD pick of the week

It's no contest this week: Fabian Bielinsky's last movie, "El Aura," is very close to a masterpiece. A little slow in stretches in which his camera was too in love with the scenic landscape of Patagonia, it still manages to deliver a solid film noir told from a unique perspective.

Some of you may know Bielinsky, who died of a heart attack before "El Aura" came out in most of the world," as the director of "Nine Queens." If you liked that, be warned that "El Aura" is something completely different. Its hero, an epileptic taxidermist who finds himself in the middle of a plot to rob a casino, is a man of very few words played perfectly by Ricardo Darin. You can read my full review here, but if you like a good film noir, you can't go wrong with this one.