More MPAA madness on the way

We're still not sure who will win the Oscar for Best Documentary, but the award for most effective doco has to go to Kirby Dick.

Though I still haven't managed to see his flick, "This Film is Not Yet Rated," apparently Motion Picture Association of America chief Dan Glickman did, and he was taking notes. Starting with an announcement Monday at the Sundance Film Festival, where Dick's movie made a splash last year, the MPAA and the National Association of Theater Owners will unveil a series of planned changes to the ratings system.

"The documentary made it clear that we probably haven't done as much as we can to explain how it all works," Glickman told Daily Variety. Wow .. now that's power.

Unfortunately, as should probably be expected, the new moves won't really amount to much. The two big changes will be a new admonishment to parents that certain R-rated movies aren't suitable for younger kids, period; and, for the first time, a filmmaker will be able to cite another movie when waging an appeal.

Now, on the first one, any further admonishment is welcome in my corner. I can stomach just about anything on screen, but what I can't take is when people take young children to thoroughly inappropriate movies, simply because they can't be bothered to hire a babysitter. The most egregious example in recent memory was "Hustle & Flow," which must have had at least 10 preteen kids there. Just what the hell are they supposed to learn from that?

So, should parents only take their kids to PG or G-rated flicks? Not at all. I'm only asking for a little common sense.

A.O. Scott, in a great article published Jan. 5 but no longer available for free on the New York Times Web site, invoked the words of poet Frank O'Hara: "Mothers of America, let your kids go to the movies!" His very valid point: If you only let your children see the animated fluff generated by the Hollywood machine, they'll really be missing out on a lot. Amen to that, but I'd only add that you please pick the movies with care and be there to make sure your offspring behave themselves and don't disrupt this curmudgeon's movie day.

But even this half-step misses the point about most complaints about the MPAA's decisions of late: That it puts way too much emphasis on sex and not enough on violence. In a PG-13 movie, you can graphically kill an armada of soldiers, but God forbid we move a few steps beyond heavy petting, especially between members of the same sex.

It's a twisted view of the world, and only passes this view on to future generations who will be more and more obsessed with violence as they become more and more sexually repressed. A dystopia indeed.

Talking Oscars

I'm not sure if you can call it a podcast, since I still have no idea what that word means, but you can hear me trying to predict the major Oscar nominations by clicking here.

My only caveat is that I did not lobby for or choose the title of "movie expert." Though I do know more about flicks than, say, rocket science, I can only claim to be a way-too-obsessed fan.

I hope my rambling makes sense. I find it somehow oddly appropriate that I managed to mangle the pronunciation of "Happiness" much the same way the filmmakers did its spelling. Feel free to sound off on whether you think I got it right, and have a perfectly bearable hump day.