For Friday, four or five degrees of funny

Even if it still is the most unnecessary prequel/reimagining/or whatever of all time, director Marc Webb is certainly piling up an impressive cast for his take on "Spider-Man."

After making the beyond-perfect choice of Emma Stone to play Gwen Stacy and the perfectly adequate choice of Andrew Garfield from "The Social Network" to play Peter Parker himself, the movie has now somehow added Martin Sheen to play Uncle Ben and Sally Field as Aunt May. Is that enough prestige for you?

Webb has so far, however, made at least one mistake (beyond the studio's choice to fire Sam Raimi in the first place): Rather than the rumored Mia Waskikowska or any other young actress to play Mary Jane Watson, they're apparently just leaving the character out altogether. Bummer.

But enough about a movie that, even with that cast, I'm not sure I'll even be able to bring myself to see when this finally all comes together. As the headline makes clear, this was supposed to be all about the funny this morning, but it lost a little sheen when I found that the promised first episode of "Mid Morning Matters With Alan Partidge" is not yet available, even though it was promised for Nov. 5, and it is indeed already noon UK time on that very day. Keep an eye out for it some time later today here, and I guarantee you'll laugh out loud.

Instead, I have four clips delivering differing degrees of funny, pretty much in descending order, until the final one, which is pretty much just here as word of warning about the impending monstrosity. First up comes the first trailer I know of for the return of the Farrelly Brothers, on Feb. 25 with something called "Hall Pass." I can't remember the last time I bothered to see a Farrelly Brothers movie, but this one looks like it could be funny, and with a cast that includes Owen Wilson, Jason Sudeikis of "30 Rock," Jenna Fischer, Christina Applegate and even veryfunnypeople JB Smoove and Stephen Merchant too, this one should at least be worth checking out. Watch trailer to find out just what a "Hall Pass" is.



Though I've yet to see the need to tune in to George Lopez's 11 p.m. show on TBS, and will have even less incentive to do once he moves to midnight starting Monday, if he's promoting the return of Conan O'Brien, I'm on board. This clip from Wednesday's show, in which CoCo makes an appearance to promote his return to late night Monday night at 11 p.m., is actually really funny once O'Brien lapses into his "native tongue," Spanish. After that comes William Shatner "singing" what is easily my favorite pop song of the moment, Cee Lo Green's "Fuck You," known to you kids who still listen to top 40 radio in its much more family-friendly form, "Forget You." Shatner's skewering of it is indeed pretty funny, but as a further bonus, I've included the original text only video from Cee Lo, so anyone who hasn't heard the original version of this can see just how incredibly entertaining it is in its very raw form. Enjoy.







As someone who plays with fonts for a living, I just don't think I'll ever get tired of watching that very clever video, and the song of course is pure gold. OK, remember that, at the outset today, I did warn you that the final clip is more a warning than anything else, because it certainly doesn't deliver any funny. It does, I suppose, finally answer the burning question of whether or not Martin Lawrence has even a drop of shame left with a thundering no. Without any further ado, and yes, really, here is indeed the trailer for something called "Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son." If you really want to know when this is coming out, you'll have to look it up yourself, because I really just can't bring myself to tell you. "Enjoy" the clip and have a fantastic weekend. Peace out.

Is there no end to the foreign-remake madness?

A guy said to me today: 'I want to get your autograph before one of us dies.' I smiled and said :'You first I hope.'

That's really apropos of nothing, but that missive from the great (and no longer so omnipresent) Michael Caine was easily the funniest thing I read this morning, so I had to pass it on.

And before I spill any bile over the plans of a director whose work I normally really dig, let's continue the good vibes with some news that, while ancient by Internet news standards, still just makes me smile: Emma Stone will indeed be in "500 Days of Summer" director Marc Webb's reboot of the "Spider-Man" franchise as Gwen Stacy.

Nothing but great news there. If you haven't seen "Easy A," do yourself a favor and do so while it's still in theaters, because while it's lighter than air and too silly by at least half, it's also often wickedly funny, and I guarantee you won't be able to take your eyes off of Emma Stone in this clearly star-making turn.

Now, with "The Social Network" star Andrew Garfield signed as Peter Parker and Stone in the mix, all that's left is to sign Mia Wasikowska as Mary Jane Watson, and this still almost completely unnecessary endeavour will at least be cast perfectly.

And speaking of unnecessary, that brings us to today's main event, and though I love the two movies that most-often-screenwriter Billy Ray has managed to direct, "Shattered Glass" and "Breach," today's news about him is bleak indeed.

I can't even bring myself to ask any more if Hollywood ever learns anything, because the answer is just so resoundingly no. You would think that after the rather epic failure of "Let Me In" ($5 million or so in week one - and reviewed by me yesterday, if you're interested in scrolling down), Matt Reeves' completely pale imitation of "Let the Right One In," there would be at least a brief pause in the stampede to remake foreign-language films only a year or so after they leave theaters.

Apparently not, because today comes word that Ray has now signed on to direct a remake of the Argentinian crime thriller "The Secret in Their Eyes," which won this year's Oscar for Best Foreign Language Film. Take a second to think about just how bad an idea this is.

If you've seen the original, you know that it's not a flawless film, but director Juan Jose Campanella's tale of a retired investigator (the simply sensational Ricardo Darin) who reopens an old rape and murder case as he simultaneously relights an old flame with a former co-worker (Soledad Villamil) goes in all kinds of unexpected directions as it delivers a solidly mindbending film noir of sorts.

And anyone who's seen this (as I have now three times - it's that good) also knows that's its steeped in the twisted politics of Campanella's Argentina, and that presents the biggest (though far from the only) problem with Ray's plans here. Inevitably, I suppose, he will update the story and move it to the United States, almost certainly losing a lot in translation.

The only things I can say in Ray's defense are that he doesn't get offered directing opportunities very often (the aforementioned films are the only ones he's directed so far, I believe, a real shame), and that he's far from alone in spreading this Euro-remake cancer.

The most prominent case, of course, is "The Social Network" director David Fincher's remake of "The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo," currently shooting, I believe, in Sweden. I have full faith in Fincher, but the original "The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo" is just about perfect as both a literary adaptation and just as a brutally efficient and entertaining thriller, so the stakes here are very high.

And, unfortunately, now that one of my favorite movies of 2008 has been shat upon by Matt Reeves, the other one is now getting the same treatment. "The Assassination of Jesse James By the Coward Robert Ford" writer/director Andrew Dominik is now apparently writing a version of the first-rate French thriller "Tell No One," perhaps with an eye on directing it himself too.

I would continue on with this rant, but I'm still rational enough to know no one who can do anything about it is listening, so let's just move on to a couple of bits of good news instead.

Apparently, like much of the world, ready to move on quickly from what Matt Reeves has done to his nearly flawless horror movie, "Let the Right One In" director Tomas Alfredson has lined up a new project to direct once he wraps up his take on the John Le Carre classic "Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy."

After that espionage thriller, filming now with an all-star cast that includes Colin Firth, Gary Oldman, Tom Hardy, Jared Harris, Mark Strong and the great Ciaran Hinds, he's signed on to direct "Larklight," a bit of steampunk from author Philip Reeve.

The story is set in a Victorian-era alternate universe in which mankind has been exploring the solar system since the time of Isaac Newton and revolves around a brother and sister who team with a band of renegade space pirates to save the world from destruction at the hands of a madman.Steve Knight (“Eastern Promises”) is rewriting the script for this, which sounds like nothing but fun to me.

Alfredson is certainly a director to keep your eyes on, so stay tuned for more on this as soon as I can find it.

And finally today, before a video or two, comes simply fantastic news that really may only be of interest to me and Bob Connally, but it's still just incredibly cool.

In a news bit about Steve Coogan's possible upcoming return to British TV as Alan Partridge for a six-part series, great news in itself, the real lead was buried. Coogan is now apparently already shooting a 12-part Alan Partridge Internet series, which will begin appearing online Nov. 5 (I have no idea where yet, but as soon as I know that, you will too.)

If you've somehow never seen Coogan as the TV host Partridge, it's almost always exceptionally funny. He's played the character for a long time now, through multiple radio and TV series, and here's a video sample of just how funny he can be. Enjoy.



And finally, since this has clearly gone on more than long enough, I'll leave you today with what I believe is the first full trailer for John Landis' upcoming graverobbing comedy "Burke and Hare," starring Andy Serkis and Simon Pegg. I believe Landis has wrapped shooting on this, but I have no idea when it will be getting a U.S. release, or how wide that will be. Enjoy the trailer, and definitely keep an eye out for this one. Peace out.

Perfect for Friday morning: The greatest movie insults of all time

What you surely won't hear anything more about here today is that Andrew Garfield has been cast in the "reboot" of "Spider-Man," 'cause once you fire Sam Raimi from something and start over, you've lost pretty much all of my interest.

What it will be about is three clips that caught my eye in the last 24 hours, one of which has nothing at all do with movies (hey, it's my site, right?) And on that note, where else could we start but with the first trailer for "Let Me In"?

As soon as the thoroughly unnecessary American remake of easily my favorite movie of 2008 (and really one of my favorite overall movies too, yes, it is that good), "Let the Right One In," was announced, it immediately rose to the top of any list of the movies I'm most dreading for the next few years (yes, even more than "Marmaduke").

Since then, however, writer/director Matt Reeves (who made "Cloverfield," and if you haven't seen that, it's surprisingly well worth a rental) has made several great moves, mostly in the area of casting. As you'll see from the clip below, young Hit-Girl Chloe Moretz as Abby (formerly Eli) and Kodi Smit-McPhee as Owen (formerly Oskar) were clearly just about perfectly cast, and the New Mexico setting should make an at least adequate fill in for the bleak Swedish locale of "Let the Right One In."

My only real beef with the trailer is the need for that annoying slide show effect, so I guess you could say my heart is warming toward this, and I'm certainly at least going to see it to find out just what Reeves has done with this movie treasure. Enjoy the trailer.



OK, I'll be the first to admit that I have no idea what the kids are listening to these days, but in any version of a perfect world it would certainly be Janelle Monae. Actually, I just checked the Billboard site to make sure this sensational song, "Tightrope," wasn't on the charts already, but it isn't (the chart-topper, something called "California Gurls," only prompted questions from me: how is a "gurl" different from a "girl," is this simply a remake of the Beach Boys song, and, if a song featuring Snoop Dogg is No. 1, how in the world is it not his "True Blood" tribute "Oh Sookie"?) But as usual, I digress. If I had a vote, this remix of "Tightrope" featuring Atlanta's B.o.B and Lupe Fiasco would be the song of the summer. Enjoy the clip, and please feel free to tell me if I'm simply tone deaf.

Tightrope (Wondamix) ft. B.o.B & Lupe Fiasco

Janelle Monae | MySpace Music Videos

And finally, what could possibly be better for a Friday than 10 minutes of the meanest movie insults? To give credit where it's due, this was compiled by the great Pajiba.com, and it's just about as good as you could possibly imagine, so it really doesn't need any more introduction from me (except for this note: This is, of course, CHOCK FULL of profanity, so for God's sake, if you're watching it at work, USE HEAD PHONES.) Enjoy the clip, and have a great weekend. Peace out.