Raimi's trip to "Hell" is a thoroughly disgusting delight

Going in to the great movie showdown that this weekend promised, I had two questions: Which movie would I prefer, Pixar's "Up" or Sam Raimi's "Drag Me to Hell," and how in the world did Raimi's movie end up with less than a R rating?

Well, after having seen them both, I can definitively answer the first query: While I liked and more so admired "Up," Raimi's return to horror is the most fun I've had at the movies this year (edging out by a nose "Star Trek.")

As to the second, however, I still have no idea, because as any fans of "Evil Dead" would have been hoping, this flick is as juvenilely, eerily and blissfully disgusting as you could possibly expect. And give Raimi credit: With the most dead-on descriptive movie title since "Snakes on a Plane," there really shouldn't be anyone who goes into this one expecting anything less.

I'm not sure why, since they are such a natural combo, but humor and horror have been a very difficult concoction to blend in satisfying form in recent years. James Gunn did a fine job with "Slither" (did anyone else see that?) and Edgar Wright and co. do even better, but with both of these the laughs come first, whereas Raimi at his best, which he very nearly is here, delivers classic horror and finds the dark laughs within it. A litmus test: If seeing Alison Lohman stalk her pet with a kitchen knife as she coos "here kitty kitty" doesn't make you laugh, this movie isn't for you.

The movie opens with a great set piece that establishes immediately (in case the title left you with any doubt) what you're in store for. Two Hispanic parents take their cursed child to a healer of sorts. It seems the youngun has stolen a gypsy's necklace, never something I'd recommend, and, well, as you can probably imagine he doesn't fare too well from there.

It seems that the gypsies aren't a group of people you want to cross, and I have to confess that on a B-movie horror level, that just works for me. I think of myself as a solidly nonracist person, but if there's a chink in that armor, gypsies are it, because I once tried to sleep on a Eurorail train and had no less than four gypsy urchins come into my car and try to steal all of my belongings. Does that mean all gypsies are evil? Of course not. But it does, if suspending my nagging sensibilities, make me very susceptible to believing for about 90 minutes or so that they would be capable of unleashing something as nasty as the Lamia curse which, believe me, you don't want to get.

In Raimi's world, the star is Christine Brown, a very game Alison Lohman. Young Ellen Page was originally set to submit herself to this hell, but either chickened out (which I'd perfectly understand) or simply passed. What Lohman, who I had never seen in a movie before (but heard in "Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind") brings to this schlockfest, along with a willingness to go through all kind of nastiness, is a nagging optimism that although you suspect is woefully misplaced, is enough to keep you playing Raimi's game until the end.

Her big mistake? Lohman's Christine, an ambitious bank loan officer (is there a more evil sort in the real world?), turns down an old lady for a third extension on her mortgage. And as anyone who knows even a bit about this flick knows, this was the wrong woman to piss off (and Lorna Raver, complete with an evil eye and secreting all kinds of squirm-inducing fluids even while she's still alive, is just the perfect choice.) From there, well, even if you think you know what's gonna happen, it's still a hell of a lot of fun going along for the ride.

And going in, I was fairly certain that funny guy and Mac pimper Justin Long was going to annoy me, but luckily he really doesn't have much to do here as Christine's supporting boyfriend (but his character's parents, played by Chelcie Ross and Molly Cheek, get the funniest scene of all, no small feat here.) What you need if you're gonna dine on this cheese buffet is someone who can lead you and Christine along, and Dileep Rao as psychic and all-around dark arts sensei Rham Jas certainly gets the job done. I don't want to give much else away, but Adriana Barraza is easily one of my favorite actresses (I even liked her quite a bit in the Jesus-wall-stain oddity "Henry Poole Is Here"), and when she turns up near the end of this flick (if you haven't walked out in disgust already) I guarantee you'll smile.

Raimi wraps it all up with an ending that's among his best, but what really makes this whole exercise so much fun is that, as with Raimi's "A Simple Plan," Christine, even as she makes mistake after mistake and suffers the requisite plagues for her misdeeds, is someone who - although more than a little greedy - we can easily all identify with.

In short, I loved just about every minute of Sam Raimi's "Drag Me to Hell," and though it's not enough to erase the nightmare that was "Spider-Man 3" from my memory (really, nothing would be, because it truly was just that bad), it certainly shows Raimi's still capable of having a blast of wicked fun, and raises hopes that Spidey's fourth installment won't just suck hard. Peace out.

Can Sam Raimi "Drag Me to Hell"? Hell yeah

Judging from the trailer that came out yesterday, I'd say Sam Raimi is finally and thankfully having fun making movies again, but first a short word or two about Jay Baruchel.

Know who he is? Even if you don't think so, you probably do. He played Sandusky in "Tropic Thunder" and Norah's ex in "Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist," and had his best big-screen part to date as that Zeppelin-obsessed fan in "Almost Famous." And even though Fox only felt fit to air about 15 episodes of it, he was also great as the lead in Judd Apatow's second TV series, "Undeclared," which while never quite as good as "Freaks and Geeks" was still just a damn fine series (and one I have on DVD.)

And now it seems Mr. Baruchel is finally gonna get to carry a movie by himself, and one he had a hand in creating at that, too. Based on a character that Baruchel came up with, "Johnny Klutz" will be about a lovable loser who is impervious to pain. The comedy possibilities are already spinning in my mind. With Ben Stiller involved as a producer, I'd imagine there has to be a pretty good chance this will all come together.

Now, before we get into all the horror goodness from Raimi, there's more news out there that just might impact the future of my favorite current TV drama by far, "Friday Night Lights."

Former cheerleader-turned-Jesus-freak-turned-Tim-Riggins'-girlfriend-once-again Lyla Garrity, a k a Minka Kelly, has signed on to play the lead in something called "Body Politic" for the CW, where she joins co-star Jason Dohring, also known as Logan Echolls on my beloved "Veronica Mars."

On the new show, which according to Variety takes a look at "Washington politics through the eyes of optimistic, up-and-coming staffers," Minka plays Hope, who leaves Michigan after the death of her mother to join the staff of her father, who has just been appointed attorney general. Logan will play a Washington Post reporter. (Just as an aside, I was once an "optimistic, up-and-coming" Washington staffer as an intern for Maryland's great but quick-tempered Democratic Senator Barbara Mikulski, and once saw her throw a telephone receiver at someone's head. That was about enough for me.)

I'm not expecting the second coming of "The West Wing" here, but assuming this is also not just completely stupid it will be yet another CW show I'll tune in for despite the fact that I'm way too old to do so without shame.

But what does that mean for "Friday Night Lights"? Well, word is that negotiations are still ongoing between NBC and DirecTV for a fourth season, and insiders are "optimistic" about it happening. Here's hoping, because season three has easily been the best yet. And take note: If not this week's, an episode to come very soon will be all about the future of Lyla and Tim, so definitely stay tuned.

OK, finally, it's down to the horror, and like I said, from this brief glimpse it seems like Sam Raimi has really cooked up something fun with "Drag Me to Hell," which is set to come out May 29.

My first thought watching it was it's just too bad that young Ellen Page dropped out of the lead role, because seeing her as a scream queen would just be a blast. As you can see, Alison Lohman has stepped into her shoes, and I'm betting she'll do just fine.

We're almost there, but if you'll indulge me, here are my three ingredients for horror movie success:

1. Remember people, this should be about suspense rather than simply gore. I'll never understand the entertainment value in watching someone get meticulously tortured.
2. No matter how familiar your idea is, at least have one. I'm almost certain I have yet to see any kind of horror movie remake, and intend to stubbornly hold to that rule from here on out.
3. Keep it simple. You don't need an elaborate curse to unleash all the evil, so just get to it. Raimi certainly seems to have that down here since, as you'll see from the trailer (in just a sec, really), here an old woman turned down for a mortgage extension curses our heroine to hell. Nothing but cool there.

OK, here it finally is. Enjoy the trailer, and have a perfectly pleasant Thursday. Peace out.