Coen brothers: Box office champs?

Like all things in life, that really depends on how you look at it. Jerry Seinfeld's "Bee Movie," of course, was the only slightly surprising overall box office champ, but the Coens won a key category in a big way (which will hopefully propel them into my little corner of the world this week.)

When a movie opens in limited release, per-screen average is often the only box-office component it can brag about. And in this key category, "No Country for Old Men" not only won the weekend but also amounted to the best Coens limited-release opening ever. Huzzah to that!

Here, and I certainly hope the multiplex owners take note of this wherever they see it, is the per-screen breakdown:

1. "No Country for Old Men": 28 screens, $42,928 average
2. "Holly": 1 screen, $35,000 average
3. "Om Shanti Om": 114 screens, $13,157 average
4. "American Gangster": 3,059 screens, $7,949 average
5. "Saawariya": 85 screens, $7,058 average
6. "Bee Movie": 3,944 screens, $6,952 average
7. "Fred Claus": 3,603 screens, $5,335 average
8. "War/Dance": 3 screens, $5,700 average
9. "Bella": 276 screens, $3,644 average
10. "Lions for Lambs": 2.215 screens, $3,029 average

Now, a couple more statistics might put this triumph into perspective. Although three other limited releases this fall had higher averages, they were for far fewer screens. Wes Anderson's rather disappointing "Darjeeling Limited" did a whopping $67,469 average when it opened in only two theaters, "Lust, Caution" (which they've advertised regularly at my multiplex but have yet to show, dammit) had a $63,910 average from one screen (so I guess that's a total rather than an average), and Sean Penn's "Into the Wild" averaged $53,110 on four screens. So, the Coens are in the same ballpark figure-wise while playing in a much bigger arena.

It's also worth looking at how well "No Country" did vs. previous Coens' films opening in limited release. "Fargo" averaged $20,285 in 36 theaters in 1996, and "O Brother, Where Art Thou?" (still my Coens' favorite) averaged $28,428 in five theaters in 2000.

I offer all that in hopes that, as promised, "No Country for Old Men" will indeed play NATIONWIDE, which means even in my little corner of the world, as promised this Friday.

And one final question that's just nagging at me: What in the world is "Holly"? It apparently stars Ron "Office Space" Livingston as a stolen artifacts dealer who works to rescue a 12-year-old Vietnamese girl (named, conveniently enough, Holly) from being sold into slavery in Cambodia. It's apparently part of something called the "K-11" project to make movies highlighting the epidemic of child-trafficking, but no matter what it is it's really just nice to see Mr. Livingston getting steady work.

"Bee Movie": Much abuzz about nothing

I apologize for that not-terribly-clever headline, but I offer it to kind of prove a point: It's about as funny as most of what you'll encounter in Jerry Seinfeld's "Bee Movie."

Which is a real shame, 'cause for the first fifteen minutes or so it's thoroughly charming and, more importantly, funny. Life in the hive, dominated by the leviathan Honex corporation (producing, of course, honey), makes for a rapid succession of very funny jokes about the life span of bees, working for your whole life, etc. With a lot more focus this could have been a kind of bee "Office Space," but alas it was not to be.

Because this flick thinks it has to be a lot more than that, our hero, Barry B. Benson (voiced with less than his usual smugness by Mr. Seinfeld) has to leave the hive, and that's where things fall apart. As my mind often does when movies start to lose its attention, I drifted to other movies I've had a beef with, in this case Tim Burton's thoroughly unnecessary "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory," but in reverse. What they both lacked after brilliant openings, as "Bee Movie" left the factory and Burton's "Charlie" went into it, was almost any sense of wonder at all.

Now, I understand that (with big help from Larry David and others) Mr. Seinfeld created a sitcom that was "about nothing," and managed to make a very funny one at that. To make an entertaining 90-minute animated movie about nothing, which he tried to do here, would be no mean feat, but despite being intermittently funny throughout it really doesn't even come close.

What's the big drama once our hero Barry leaves the hive? A lawsuit, and believe it or not, it's even less compelling on screen than you could possibly imagine it would be, despite the best efforts of John Goodman as the opposing attorney. Barry, of course, also meets and becomes smitten with a florist voiced by Renee Zellweger, who I'll return to later with, I'm warning you now, some venom.

First, a word about the overall look of "Bee Movie" which, again outside of the hive, is just depressingly generic. If you've seen Miyazaki's "Kiki's Delivery Service" (and if you haven't, why not), try not to think too much about young Kiki soaring over Miyazaki's majestic landscapes of Europe as you watch Barry and the "pollen jockeys" flying over the CGI, paint-by-numbers version of what is somehow supposed to be New York City in "Bee Movie."

What this newfangled animation does to scenery, however, is far less destructive than what it does to people, specifically poor Ms. Zellweger as the florist Vanessa. As animators try to make their human characters more real, it just gets more and more perverse, in this case turning Vanessa's face into what Ms. Zellweger's looks like each time directly after she's sucked off the pounds put on for a "Bridget Jones" movie. Not pretty. It doesn't help that Vanessa's voice and mannerisms just make you want to choke her and end it all.

So, as you can tell, I really didn't care too much at all for "Bee Movie," but before I go I'd like to offer a special note of encouragement to the very young lady who, as her mother informed us before the movie started, was enjoying (or not) her first moviegoing experience with this one. Take heart, young one, because there are much better flicks than "Bee Movie" out there for you to behold. For a start, have your mom rent "Ratatouille" next Tuesday to see what a wonder great animation can really be, though you might want to have her fast-forward through the rather scary opening sequence.

As for me, there's a hopefully much better movie in my immediate future, with a screening of Ridley Scott's "American Gangster" at noon. Peace out.

Revenge is a dish best served ... well, many ways

One sure sign that it's the end of August is that the movies that get dumped in these dog days just make me think of better ones that preceeded them.

Even though Kevin Bacon was a reliable soldier on CBS' "Early Show" (or whatever it's called) the other day as he claimed with a straight face that James Wan's "Death Sentence" will seriously explore the dark side of revenge, I think I'll just have to pass. I'll be spending my holiday weekend like most Americans: Watching college football and attending a barbecue or two, and maybe getting caught up on either "Heroes" or "Friday Night Lights" on DVD.

Besides, as with most things I enjoy, I often take my revenge on the big screen with more than a little dose of silly, simply because I like to laugh. Here are 10 flicks, some silly and some not, in which revenge plays a big part and I just can't get enough of (and, though they're numbered, they're indeed in no particular order):

1. Revenge of the Nerds
Because, after all, who in the world deserves revenge more than nerds? As far as I can tell, McG's rather insidious plan to remake this has died, or at least I hope so. To hear someone probably much wiser than me on the subject wax poetic about the virtues of this flick, watch Toby riff on it in "American Splendor." Heck, just watch "American Splendor" anyway if you somehow haven't seen it yet.

2. Oldboy
No director has made a better career out of revenge flicks than Korea's Chan-Wook Park, and this one would have to be my favorite. It can be hard to take at times, but watching Min-Sik Choi find out who held him captive for 15 years and get his vengeance (before they inflict further pain on him) is a one-of-a-kind experience.

3. Jackie Brown
Quentin Tarantino obviously tried his hardest to make a "revenge" flick with "Kill Bill," and mostly succeeded, but I'll still take "Jackie Brown" every time. It's still my favorite of the Tarantino flicks, and watching Pam Grier square off against Samuel L. Jackson will never get old to me.

4. Election
Remember, I did say silly, right? Of all the revenge flicks set in the hell that is high school, this one is still the best, both because it's Reese Witherspoon vs. Matthew Broderick and because, adorable as Reece is, you just want to crush Tracey Flick's head long before the flick ends.

5. Taxi Driver
Though I managed to omit "Death Wish" from this list, you really can't snub "Taxi Driver." Even if it has created a long list of cringe-worthy imitators (including this week's entry, of course), Scorsese's movie stands up well over time, and De Niro was rarely better than as the ball-of-rage that was Travis Bickle.


6. Rushmore
After all, what better to drive a man to vengeance than love? Although this movie has so many charms, my favorite moment might just be the look of relief on Herman Blume's face after Max Fischer calls off his vendetta in front of the barbershop. "I'll take punctuality."

7. The Limey
This is the only movie I can think of, at least off the top of my head, in which I liked Terrence Stamp, though surely there must be more. Not nearly as cool or clever as Steven Soderbergh's "Out of Sight," but it's still a reminder that when he puts his mind to it the man can direct a lean, mean thriller.

8. Get Carter
The Michael Caine original, of course, not the Sly Stallone remake (which I concede I haven't seen.) What I love about this movie is how it unfolds so slowly until the last half hour or so, when Caine's gangster unleashes the bloodbath you knew was coming from the start.

9. Bully
If you're considering moving to south Florida, I'd strongly advise watching this cautionary tale from Larry Clark first. Based on the true story of a group of teens who plot to take out the titular "Bully" (Nick Stahl, if I remember correctly), it's as chilling as it is entertaining. And, finally ...

10. Office Space
Though Ron Livingston is still a fairly young dude, I'm sure he'll never make another movie with the staying power of this one. Just in case you've forgotten just how cathartic watching this flick can be after a long day at work, I've included a YouTube clip of Michael Bolton and friends taking out their frustations on the fax machine, to the soothing strains of the Geto Boys. Feel free to add any revenge flicks that you can watch over and over again, and have an entirely suckfree Thursday.