What the #$%&@ does F/X have to do to have a successful show?

What in the world does F/X have to do get people to watch its shows? In the past year, the network has aired easily the two best new shows in my book, "Terriers" (R.I.P) and "Lights Out," and in each case they've been rewarded with one-season wonders.

Not that that's all that odd, or even surprising. Many of the best TV shows of the last 15 years or so, "Freaks and Geeks" and "Firefly" in particular, have failed to catch on with enough people to please the bean-counters. That doesn't, however, make it any less maddening.

In the case of "Terriers," I could at least understand it. That show was a true oddity, a P.I. comedy-drama of sorts that ambled at its own pace and just had a skewed sense of humor that was never going to be everyone's viewing choice. But with "Lights Out," which officially got its cancellation order last night, I just don't get it.

Not only is it easily one of TV's best dramas on the air right now, but what else has even been on until this week or so with new episodes at all? I was hooked on the show from the start because I'm just a sucker for good boxing stories, and this was certainly one. Starting out with the tale of a former champ trying to make an unlikely (mi hermano says impossibly unrealistic given the age of star Holt McCallany) comeback against the fighter who knocked him out five years earlier, the show added to that a seedy family saga that somehow manages to make even the real world of boxing seem honest and upright by comparison.

And it contained the two best short-run performances I've seen on TV dramas in the past year. First up came Eamonn Walker (who it took me a long time to remember played Howling Wolf in the truly great little flick "Cadillac Records"), who completely took over two episodes as the mystic trainer Ed Romeo. And just this week, the always-welcome David Morse took a tragic turn as a truly punch-drunk former champ.

I don't think "Lights Out" will have the cult following of the one-season wonders mentioned earlier, but I'll certainly miss it, and will buy it when it comes to DVD. Looking at the numbers, however, it's really hard to get too mad at all at F/X. Here, courtesy of AICN, are the numbers for Tuesday nights from Jan. 11-March 22 (this week):

3.8 (2.2) (2.3) (3.8) (4.4) (3.6) (4.2) (4.6) (2.3) (4.1) (4.5) NCIS
3.2 (2.2) (2.6) (3.2) (3.9) (3.3) (3.5) (3.8) (---) (3.3) (3.7) NCIS LA
3.0 (2.7) (2.9) (2.4) (2.7) (2.7) (3.0) (3.3) (3.2) (2.9) (3.2) Biggest Loser
2.5 (2.5) (2.0) (1.9) (2.2) (2.1) (1.8) (2.1) (2.3) (2.1) (1.9) Teen Mom
2.1 (1.2) (1.3) (2.2) (2.0) (2.0) (2.2) (2.2) (---) (2.1) (2.3) Good Wife
2.0 (4.2) (4.6) (---) (4.4) (4.2) (4.6)(11.1) (1.5) (1.5) (1.7) Glee
1.8 (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) Best In Film
1.7 (1.7) (2.2) (1.8) (1.9) (2.4) (2.2) (2.4) (2.3) (2.8) (3.6) The Game
1.5 (0.9) (1.0) (1.2) (1.4) (1.5) (1.5) (1.1) (1.1) (1.8) (1.5) No Ordinary Family
1.4 (2.2) (2.7) (3.3) (2.4) (2.2) (2.7) (---) (---) (---) (---) Raising Hope
1.4 (---) (1.5) (1.1) (1.2) (1.0) (2.2) (---) (1.3) (1.6) (---) Let’s Stay Together
1.0 (---) (1.2) (1.9) (2.1) (1.9) (1.9) (2.2) (---) (2.1) (2.2) Parenthood
1.0 (1.5) (1.5) (---) (1.6) (1.4) (1.9) (---) (---) (---) (---) Traffic Light
1.0 (0.8) (1.0) (---) (0.8) (---) (1.0) (---) (---) (---) (---) Top Shot
1.0 (---) (0.8) (0.7) (0.8) (1.0) (0.9) (0.8) (0.8) (0.9) (1.1) Hardcore Pawn
0.9 (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) NBA Basketball
0.6 (0.5) (0.7) (0.6) (0.6) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) Real Housewives Miami
0.5 (0.4) (0.5) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) Million Dollar Listing
0.3 (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) Destination Truth
0.3 (0.2) (0.5) (0.6) (0.6) (0.7) (0.7) (0.8) (0.9) (0.3) (0.4) Hellcats
0.3 (0.3) (0.4) (0.4) (0.3) (0.3) (0.4) (0.4) (0.4) (0.4) (0.6) Lights Out
0.3 (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) Marcel’s Quantum Kitchen
0.3 (0.3) (0.4) (0.7) (0.9) (0.8) (0.7) (1.2) (0.9) (---) (0.4) One Tree Hill

Yes, you really did have to dig pretty far to find "Lights Out," and by the way, what in the heck is "Marcel's Quantum Kitchen"? So, R.I.P., "Lights Out," and if you like the show as much as I did and do, tune in for the final two episodes to see if Lights finally gets his rematch with Death Row.

OK, enough of that depressing stuff. Starting this Sunday (of course) for you folks like me who get HBO is "Mildred Pierce," and you can certainly count me as psyched for it. A five-part miniseries based on the novel by James M. Cain and directed by Todd Haynes, it stars one Kate Winslet in the titular role. The story, already made into a 1945 movie I haven't seen, is about a working mother who separates from her cheating husband during the Great Depression (0r at least, the first one) and tries to keep her family together as she eventually goes on to open three restaurants and a pie-selling business. It's most certainly a whole lot more epic and just better than I'm making it sound here. Keep an eye out for Guy Pearce as Mildred's wealthy playboy lover Monty Beragon, and enjoy these two clips to whet your appetite, the first an episode one preview and the second a 30-minute making-of special. As for me, I'm off to work and then to see Zack Snyder's "Sucker Punch" this weekend, and frankly hoping it doesn't just make my eyeballs melt. Peace out.

Preview Part 1

Making Of

Are we in a golden age of sci fi and fantasy?

Before I get started today, a hearty huzzah and thanks to the Macon Film Guild for screening Todd Haynes' maddeningly entertaining "I'm Not There" (and to Camp Bacon for guiding me to the balcony for a better seat after a flat tire forced me to arrive as the opening credits were already rolling.)

Though you could certainly complain that Haynes needs an editor (and a lot less Richard Gere), if you love Bob Dylan you'll find plenty to like in this seriously unconventional biopic, which hits DVD on May 6. Cate Blanchett once again deserves all the acclaim she garnered for this, and the scenes with Heath Ledger and Charlotte Gainsbourg have an intimacy and poignancy to them we very rarely get to see on screen nowadays. My favorite moment, though, comes near the end when Christian Bale performs delivers an impassioned performance of "Pressing On," one of Dylan's gospel tunes that I just love. Anyways, see this one as soon as you can.

But, moving on the question at the top of this post, on TV at least I'd say we soon will indeed be in a golden age of both science fiction and fantasy, and we've chiefly got "Battlestar Galactica" to thank for that. But what happens when "Battlestar" is over, a sad development that will come in only 18 episodes or so?

Well, thankfully, the creators of this gem are getting right back to work. Ronald D. Moore and Michael Taylor have taken the reins of "Virtuality," which is being developed for Fox first as a two-hour movie to premiere in February, with plans to spin it off as a series the following fall.

The movie follows 12 astronauts who are sent on a 10-year journey to find a distant solar system. The explorers pass the time by hooking up to advanced virtual reality modules to explore self-created worlds, but find someone has downloaded a computer bug into the system - and one of them may be the saboteur. Sounds more than a little too virtual for my tastes, but from this crew I'll definitely give it a chance, especially with Martin Campbell of "Casino Royale" in talks to direct the flick.

And it should be a bonanza for people looking for entertaining ways to waste time at work, too. As part of the plot, the space voyage is funded by a reality show that features the trip being streamed back to Earth, and that "reality show" will be produced as webisodes, featuring the same cast members.

NBC first passed on this, saying it was "too sci-fi" (what the frak!?!?), but thankfully Fox seems to have more sense. In fact, Fox, which has a long criminal record of killing high-concept shows way too early, is getting in to the sci-fi/fantasy in a pretty big way this fall, also bringing us Joss Whedon's return to TV with "Dollhouse" in October and then "Boldly Going Nowhere," a sci-fi comedy from the twisted "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" crew, probably coming next winter.

Add to all that good news that another of the "Battlestar" masterminds, David Eick, is developing a series for the Sci-Fi Channel from P.D. James' "Children of Men," and you've definitely got a great time for fans of good television. Now, if we could just sick the cylons on all this reality crap ...

And something cool for fantasy fans too

It seems like forever since there's been a fantasy serial on TV smart enough to make me tune in, but that may finally change this fall.

Sam Raimi and Rob Tapert have tapped John Shiban, who toiled for seven years as a writer/producer on "The X-Files," to run their upcoming syndicated series, "Wizard's First Rule." It's based on Terry Goodkind's novel which went on to be developed into the "Sword of Truth" series of books. To be honest, I don't really know a lick about the plot of this one, but Shiban promises it will be similar - in structure at least - to what we had with "X-Files."

"There's an overarching mythology to the series, but the job of Seeker allows (the lead character) to fight evil in self-contained episodes," he said.

Though this is headed to syndication this fall, it claims to have a presence in 84 percent of U.S. markets, so definitely stay tuned.

But what about movies?

OK, I now promise that my movie funk will end this Friday (or maybe Saturday.) I'm thoroughly convinced that "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" will be a suitably funny gateway to summer and away from the mediocrity we've had thus far. To get everyone ready, here's a pretty funny clip of our hero, Jason Segel, and Russell Brand. Enjoy, and have a pleasant enough Monday. Peace out.

Don't miss a golden Macon Film Guild opportunity this weekend

I will confess that I don't turn out for the Macon Film Guild's screenings nearly as often as I should, but there is absolutely no way I'll miss this weekend's Sunday flick.

Todd Haynes' "I'm Not There," his trippy, segmented tribute to Bob Dylan, was one of the movies I desperately wanted to see in 2007 but never had the opportunity to. I didn't want to make the sacrifice of watching it on my rather minuscule TV, so thankfully the Film Guild has come to the rescue.

In what should be a really popular offering, "I'm Not There" is being screened at 2, 4:30 and 7:30 p.m. Sunday at the Douglass Theatre in downtown Macon. As an added bonus, devoted Dylanophile Larry Schlesinger, also known as the Rabbi of Temple Beth Israel and a member of the Macon City Council, will lead a discussion following the 4:30 showing. (Being a habitual loner after movies, I confess I'll probably just go to the 2 p.m. showing and think about what I just saw on the ride home.)

Though much has been made of Cate Blanchett's Oscar-nominated turn as the mystery man himself, I'm most looking forward to seeing Marcus Carl Franklin, who opens the film as "Woody Guthrie" (a young black kid, of course), and to seeing the late Heath Ledger and Charlotte Gainsbourg, because I must confess I've just had a mad crush on Charlotte ever since "La Petite Voleuse."

However, rather than hear me talk anymore about a movie I haven't seen, here are snippets from three reviewers I really like, with links to the whole review if you wish to continue reading.

First up is the Washington Post's Ann Hornaday:

The resulting film, "I'm Not There," is a fascinating exercise that, if the viewer is willing to surrender to Haynes's sometimes hermetic meditations on Dylan's life, heartily rewards the investment. Often using real-life vignettes and Dylan's own quotations as his jumping-off point, Haynes has created an antidote to the "Behind the Music" chronology and one-dimensional caricatures that too often define musical biopics, delivering an absorbing, occasionally mind-bending disquisition on how Dylan has brilliantly eluded his audience's projections. You can read more here.

Next is Dana Stevens, who revealed her own mad crush on Cate Blanchett at Slate:

Cate Blanchett is Bob Dylan: Could there be a sexier above-the-title tagline? But Haynes' casting choice functions as far more than a clever stunt. The gender reversal introduces a strangeness that makes us look at both performers through new eyes. And though you soon forget that Blanchett is a woman—her channeling of the Don't Look Back-era Dylan is that uncanny—you never for a moment forget that she, like Jude Quinn, is a performer. Blanchett shares Dylan's knack for moving audiences deeply without disclosing much of herself, and her Jude is a magnetic cipher, seductive without being likable. When a British journalist (Bruce Greenwood), intent on exposing the self-invented singer as a fraud, questions him harshly in the back seat of a limo, you don't know whose side to take: Yes, the interviewer is a reductive prig, but Jude is a self-important asshole. Blanchett conveys all of this while still keeping you wrapped around her (or is it Jude's?) little finger. Before, I thought of Cate Blanchett as a beautiful and gifted actress. After this crush-inducing performance, I'm seriously considering flying to Australia to stalk her. Read more here.

And finally, a daily stop for me, the Onion AV Club:

The more Dylan you take into I'm Not There, the more you'll get out of it. And even for the devout, Haynes' daring and reference games don't always pay off. A sequence set to the square-checks-out-the-counterculture classic "Ballad Of A Thin Man" is way too on-the-nose, moments when Dylan lyrics turn up in the dialogue clang like failed jokes, and the film doesn't so much end as slowly fade out. But the missteps don't detract from the thrilling brilliance of the filmmaking (aided by the remarkable cinematographer Ed Lachman), or dim the sense that Haynes was right in deciding that the fractions of the man would add up to more than the man himself.
A.V. Club Rating: B+ Read more here.

Well, not quite finally, because the naysayers should have their say too. Rex Reed sure must have been in a sour mood when he wrote this screed about the 2007 New York Film Festival. While I unfortunately agree with him about Wes Anderson's "Darjeeling Limited," I really liked Noah Baumbach's "Margot at the Wedding." Here's what Reed had to say about "I'm Not There" to finish off his New York Observer rant:

I cannot believe this is the Todd Haynes who topped my ten-best list in 2002 with the magnificent, unforgettable Far From Heaven. Headed for the No. 1 spot on my ten-worst list, I’m Not There is a tumultuous disappointment. Chopped and shredded into shards of avant-garde impressionism, the film is without a thread of narrative coherence. It’s a 135-minute Cobb salad, what I call jerk-off filmmaking. It desperately needs cutting, and they should use a hatchet.

Well, I guess everyone's welcome to their opinion, and in Reed's defense his piece is pretty friggin' funny. However, I'm almost certain he's wrong about "I'm Not There," so I hope to see a lot of you Maconites at the Douglass on Sunday.

In closing, rather than simply a clip from the flick, here's a fairly funny one of Rainn Wilson "auditioning" for director Todd Haynes as a bit for the most recent Spirit Awards show. Enjoy, and have a great weekend. Peace out.

Where do you go after you're "Superbad"?

I was gonna start today by discussing Todd McFarlane's plan to piss all over "The Wizard of Oz," but I just can't bring myself to do it. Some people would name "Casablanca" and "The Birds" as the most untouchable flicks of all time, and I certainly wouldn't stop them from making that argument, but to me there's just no movie that combined amazing storytelling with virtuoso filmmaking better than "The Wizard of Oz."

OK, maybe a few words about it, but then I promise I'll quickly move on. McFarlane and Josh Olson, writer of the "History of Violence" graphic novel, are promising a "revisionist" vision, but McFarlane's quote on the subject reveals this is all really happening because he can't be bothered to come up with any more original ideas himself.

"My pitch was ‘How do we get people who went to ‘Lord of the Rings’ to embrace this?’ " McFarlane said. "I want to create (an interpretation) that has a 2007 wow factor. You’ve still got Dorothy trapped in an odd place, but she’s much closer to the Ripley from ‘Alien’ than a helpless singing girl."

Bleah, bleah and more bleah. Enough of that. I'd much rather talk about what Greg Mottola will do now that he's crafted and unleashed the funniest movie of 2007 with "Superbad."

If you polled 100 people leaving the movie theater after a screening of "Superbad," more than half of them would guess it was directed by Judd Apatow, and the rest would probably just give you a blank stare. But, of course, it was Mr. Mottola who was responsible for this, and before it the underrated little "Daytrippers" flick and solid TV work with "Undeclared" and then "Arrested Development."

I'd love to see some of these very talented people in the Apatow camp return to TV and give us something even half as great as "Freaks and Geeks," but they're probably too recently burned by the experience to go back to it. Instead, Mottola is quickly getting back to work on movies, this time with a script he penned himself.

Giving credit where it's due, this report comes directly from the almost-always-reliable JoBlo site. According to those fine folks, Mottola's next flick will be called "Adventureland" and will be a semiautobiographical tale set in the '80s about a college grad who, as he's about to set off on a European adventure, finds himself stuck at home in Long Island because his father gets laid off. Forced to support himself, he gets a job at the local amusement park Adventureland, where comedic hijinx will surely follow.

The slightly sordid world of amusement parks should be ripe territory for fun, and Mottola also wrote the script for "Daytrippers," so I'm hoping he comes up with a winner here to keep us laughing again next summer.


Greenaway's grand vision of Rembrandt

My favorite Froggy film site, Cinempire.com, has a slew of photos up from Peter Greenaway's upcoming "Nightwatching," which starts with the creation of Rembrandt's painting "The Night Watch" to tell the story of his often turbulent private life.

Even when they're deeply flawed, Greenaway's flicks are always a visual feast, and as these photos show, this one should be no different. Martin Freeman of the UK "The Office" fame plays Rembrandt, and even if this movie is far too wild to ever turn up in my little corner of the world on the big screen, the photos can take your mind off of Wednesday for a few minutes. Click here to peruse them all and enjoy.

Two doses of trailer fun

The first is just a tease of the movie I'd have to say I'm most excited about for the fall, Todd Haynes' Dylan flick "I'm Not There." Though it doesn't show much, I like the style of it and am definitely ready for more.



Next up comes the more substantial trailer for Woody Allen's "Cassandra's Dream." Though much of the world has dismissed him as the aging pervert he often seems to be, Mr. Allen has been on a real winning streak of late. "Match Point" was easily one of my favorite movies of 2005, and though it was lighter than air, "Scoop" was a lot of fun.

"Cassandra's Dream," starring Colin Farrell, Ewan McGregor and Tom Wilkinson, is definitely on the darker side. It's set to come out in October, and I'm hoping it has enough star power to make out here to the hinterlands. Anyways, enjoy the trailer. Peace out.

NY Film Fest a sign of great things to come

If you offered me a pass to any film festival in the world, I think I'd have to pick New York. Cannes clearly has the most pull, and Toronto has been rising for years now and probably now gets the most star power, but I'm just a sucker for New York.

And, this week, though I can't seem to find it anywhere, they've unveiled their full lineup, and it of course just makes me insanely jealous.

As previously announced, Wes Anderson's (huzzah!) "Darjeeling Limited" will be the opening night film. It's been a long time off for Mr. Anderson, so I'm hoping this is a strong return to top form after the disastruous "Steve Zissou" (I've watched that flick three times now, and just about the only thing I can find to enjoy about it are those beautiful Portugeuse David Bowie songs.)

Added this week are plenty more flicks I'm looking forward to. On the top of that list would have to be Noah Baumbach's "Margot at the Wedding." I thought his "The Squid and the Whale" was very close to being the best movie of 2005, so I can't wait to see what he comes up with next. Starring wifey Jennifer Jason Leigh, Nicole Kidman, Jack Black, John Turturro and Ciaran Hinds (huzzah!), it's about the titular Margot (Kidman) visiting her sister (Leigh) after she announces she's marrying a rather dim dude (Black, of course.)

Close on the heels of that as far as flicks I need to see as soon as possible would have to be the Coen brothers' take on Cormac McCarthy's "No Country for Old Men," which will be the centerpiece flick, and Todd Haynes' simply insane Dylan biopic "I'm Not There."

The closing night flick, "Perselopis," should also be intriguing. It's apparently an animated retelling of the Iranian revolution. Like I said, I can't seem to find the full slate on the film fest site, but other notable flicks include Brian De Palma's Iraq war drama "Redacted," Gus Van Sant's skater flick "Paranoid Park," Sidney Lumet's "Before the Devil Knows You're Dead," Julian Schnabel's "The Diving Bell and the Butterfly," Abel Ferrara's "Go Go Tales," Claude Chabrol's "A Girl Cut in Two," "4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days" and "Secret Sunshine."

If you're somehow going to this, as my father managed to do once, I'm insanely jealous. As for me, I'll just have to wait until these potentially great flicks make it to somewhere near my little corner of the world.

Bonus Wes Anderson?

The Guardian newspaper had a little tidbit about Anderson's "Darjeeling Limited."

The flick, starring Adrien Brody, Owen Wilson and Jason Schwartzman, is about three estranged brothers who rebuild their bonds with a voyage across India after the death of their father. According to the Guardian, it will be preceeded by a 12-minute short called "Hotel Chavalier," which acts as a prequel to the main flick and is about one of the brothers and a relationship that goes awry.

Sayles goes back to school

If John Sayles' latest flick, "Honeydripper," ever somehow plays in Macon, I guess I'll have a savvy group of college students to thank for it.

"Stomp the Yard" producer Will Packer and Emerging Pictures founder Ira Deutchman are teaming with Clark Atlanta University to launch a film marketing and distribution course for African-American college students across the country, and their first assignment will be to produce a marketing plan for the flick.

Reading the plot summary on IMDB, it sounds like a blues-tinged version of "Big Night," which could be a good thing, I suppose. Danny Glover plays the owner of a failing delta juke joint who lures "Guitar Sam" for one night only in hopes of drawing customers away from a more popular competitor. Sam, however, doesn't show, so he instead cleans up a ne'er do well named Sonny who claims he can play and tries to pass him off as "Guitar Sam." I can only guess that the kid can indeed play the blues, but I guess we'll have to wait and see. Along with Glover, the movie stars Charles S. "Roc" Dutton (huzzah!), Lisa Gay Hamilton, Stacy Keach, Mary Steenburgen and Sean Patrick Thomas.

Before Emerging Pictures releases the flick in New York and Los Angeles on Dec. 28, select students from Clark Atlanta and other participating historically black colleges will help develop and implement a grassroots marketing campaign with their professors and the film's distribution team. It will continue throughout the platform release in Atlanta and Chicago on Jan. 18 and a wide release the following month.

My guess is they've got a tall task ahead of them to get this a real wide release, but they've certainly got me cheering them on.

Something I swore I would no longer care about

I promised myself that, after Joss Whedon got booted from the project, I would never again write another word about the "Wonder Woman" flick, but this is just too odd to let pass.

According to the celebrity gossip site I'm Not Obsessed, Mrs. Tom Cruise is in talks to play our heroine. Here's what their "source" had to say:

“The movie’s only at the discussion state, but Katie feels this role as a kick-ass superhero will put her back in the public eye. She wants to show her stuff, and she wants to prove that she can stand on her own two feet without Tom’s help. Tom, at times, feels compelled to oversee Katie’s career, but Katie is bent on doing this alone. She actually scheduled the meeting when she knew Tom wasn’t going to be able to be there.”

Any chance that I would have seen this disaster-in-the-making would have been if they went ahead with the plan to cast the very funny Cobie Smulders of "How I Met Your Mother." With Katie instead? No chance.

Three days off

I'm off for a long weekend to visit my brother in Minneapolis where, I'm sure, I'll see a movie or two. "Superbad" may be on the menu if I can talk him into it, and "Rocket Science" has also been discussed.

If you're here in Macon, we've got three great offerings this week, a real rarity for August. Along with "Superbad," which in case you haven't noticed I've been more than a little obsessed with for, well, forever, we're getting "Becoming Jane" and, only at the Regal Rivergate 14, the Don Cheadle flick "Talk to Me." The latter flick, about DC disc jockey Petey Greene, has one-week-only written all over it, so don't pass up this chance to see it. Peace out.

Where's Bruce Lee when you need him?

If he were here, I'm sure he'd put an end to this madness quicker than you could say "this remake reeks."

There are surely better movies than "Enter the Dragon," but I'll challenge anyone to come up with one that's cooler.

This was supposed to be Bruce Lee's ticket to the big time, and it certainly would have been if he hadn't died during post-production. Rumor has it he had a big but uncredited role in writing and choreographing the fighting sequences in this, his first and only big Hollywood flick.

In it, of course, he's hired by the British government to infiltrate an underground fighting ring run inside an island fortress (of course!) It never gets much more complicated than that, but for anyone who loves kung fu, this flick simply contains some of the best fight scenes ever filmed. And without Mr. Lee, they will obviously be impossible to re-create, so why even bother?

Especially when it's obvious you can do a whole lot more. The "noir-style" remake to be called "Awaken the Dragon" (wow, even the name is creative) is to be written and directed by Kurt Sutter, who has made his name so far as the executive producer of "The Shield." Now, I don't watch "The Shield," and after watching the simply flawless "The Wire" I fear cop shows are spoiled for me from here on out, but surely with that on his record he can do a whole lot better than this for his breakthrough to the big screen.

And, worst of all if I have this right, the plot so far sounds like they've take just the shred of "Dragon" (and, of course, the name) and just perverted it completely. The lead will be an anglo (I assume, though maybe not) FBI agent who "pursues a rogue Shaolin monk in the bloody world of underground martial arts fight clubs." Excuse me while I take a short break to vomit.

If you want to watch a new movie about underground fight clubs (and, given the right one, I certainly would), I'd put my money instead behind what David Mamet's currently cooking up with Chiwetel Ejiofor as a mixed martial arts instructor who's lured into the world of competition. "Redbelt" is in post-production now, and even if it does also star Tim Allen, it's simply got to be tons better than whatever comes of this craptastic project.

So, you wanna be a rap movie star?

One of my former co-workers, entertainment writer Greg Fields, came up with a rather memorable lead when asked to write about a local "American Idol"-style competition that took place when Ruben Studdard and Clay Aiken were in the real "Idol" finals.

I'm paraphrasing here a bit, but what he actually wrote, and what appeared in The Telegraph, was something very close to "Are you fat, black, sweaty or ambiguously gay? If so, Southern Idol is for you." Needless to say, the organizers of the event weren't amused, but I sure was, and it's the first thing that came to mind when I read this crazy story today.

It seems that Voletta Wallace, mother of the late and very great Notorious B.I.G., is taking part in the search for an unknown person to play her son in an upcoming Fox Searchlight movie to be directed by George Tillman of "Soul Food" fame.

So, if you're a black man of a certain build who thinks he can rap, this is indeed your shot at the (somewhat) big time. Beginning at 3 a.m. Sunday, anyone can submit an audition video to BiggieCasting.com.

On the serious side, Biggie was indeed a great M.C., and if I can make a suggestion of one black man who not only fits the build, but can also rap and actually act, how about David Banner? The best Southern rapper around was just about the only good thing in Craig Brewer's "Black Snake Moan" playing well, essentially himself. I'd probably just hand the role to him now, but it should be fun to watch all the silliness that unfolds until they come to any such decision.

Two faces of Haynes' Dylan

Iwatchstuff.com had these two new stills from Todd Haynes' upcoming Bob Dylan flick, "I'm Not There," which I'm holding out hope will have enough star power to make it even to my rather remote corner of the world when it finally opens in September.

In the flick, Dylan will be played by at least six people: Christian Bale, Cate Blanchett, Marcus Carl Franklin, Richard Gere, Heath Ledger and Ben Wishaw. As these photos show, some will have more luck in pulling it off than others. I'll buy Heath Ledger as a young Dylan, but Richard Gere just looks like he's been huffing in an alley for six days straight. Feel free to pile anymore hate on Mr. Gere, or add anything else that comes to mind.



And finally, just in case anyone's still thinking it really is possibly to re-create any Bruce Lee movie without, well, Bruce Lee, please enjoy this clip of him putting an enormous ass-whupping on Ohara (Robert Wall) from the one and only "Enter the Dragon." After all, what day, even a Friday, isn't just a little bit better with a little Bruce Lee? Peace out.