"Office 2"? Why can't I get excited?

TV Guide's Michael Ausiello, who just knows more about TV than any healthy person should, had some rather disturbing news on his blog yesterday which, be warned, will make lovers of "The Office" (of which I am certainly one) cringe.

It seems that, rather than come up with any original idea to fill the slot soon to be vacated by "Scrubs" (another show I just adore, even if it is just thoroughly silly), NBC is commissioning a spinoff of "The Office." I would hope they might come up with a name better than "Office 2," but you know what they say about assuming.

First, the good news, if there really is any. They won't be stealing any characters from the current "Office" for any new show (so, at least for now, there's no reason to fear a "Pam Loves Jim.") And, as far as I can tell, that's where the good news ends.

Where to start with the bad? It's hard to pick. When I first heard this idea, I had a painful flashback to the pilot episode of the American "Office." For anyone who has blocked this painful memory from your brain, please forgive me.

I can still remember tuning in with great anticipation, being a big fan of the UK original, and finding that what they essentially did was a shot-for-shot remake of the first UK episode, just in Pennsylvania (yes, just like Van Sant's "Psycho," but possibly even worse.) For that reason, I boycotted the entire first season of the U.S. version.

Maybe they could just do that again, assuming people have such short attention spans that they could get away with it. Actually, scratch that, because it sounds too close to what might actually happen.

What can't you re-create from the U.S. "Office" I've grown to love so much? Well, first, I can't imagine you could possibly assemble an ensemble cast to rival what we have now. The beauty in "The Office" each week is in waiting to see which bit player will come up with the bitingly funniest moment each week (my all-time favorite remains Angela's rebuke to Dwight in the season three finale with "I don't care how they consolidated power in the Roman empire.") Priceless.

Secondly, and directly related, there's just no way you could approach anything near the chemistry, so why bother? The last danger sign, or at least the last one I can come up with at this early hour is that, according to Ausiello, they're already searching for a "name" actor (or actress maybe, hello!?!?) to fill the lead role.

Now, I'm not a Steve Carell hater by any stretch, but I have to say he is the least funny member of "The Office" cast, and the show just drags a bit when he hogs the screen for too long. Starting with the head honcho on any new show would seem to be the wrong approach, but I might just have to take all that back if they manage to hire "Office II" boss Michael Bluth.

As for this week's episode, things are much better. Joss Whedon returns as director (after Jason Reitman's turn last week.) In an episode titled "Branch Wars," Karen makes a welcome return and tries to woo Stanley away from Scranton. Michael fights back, dragging her ex, Jim, into his war. Meanwhile, the existence of a “Finer Things Club” further disturbs Dunder Mifflin’s calm.

Sounds all good to me. But this "Office 2" idea? It smells to me kinda like one of Kevin's more unfortunate trips to the men's room, with no cookie-scented candle to make it go down any sweeter. Am I just off-base here? If you see any reason why this show would be a good idea, please feel free to let me know, and if you just wanna pile the hate on this lame NBC move, please do that too. Peace out.