Free Michael Moore, Notorious B.I.G. and Madea? What a day

There's just a lot of odd stuff out there today, so let's start with the creme de la weird (with all apologies to Chuck Shepherd.)

The movie version of Bret Easton Ellis' "American Psycho," starring Christian Bale, was a surprisingly good adaptation and a rather severely underrated little flick. Not once, however, did I ever think while watching it, "gee, this would make a great Broadway musical." Someone else apparently did, though, and so we get this (and I can't read any of it without laughing):

Per Variety: "An '80s-tinged tuner adaptation of "American Psycho" has begun the development process and is aiming for Broadway. The graphically bloody novel, which juxtaposes Reagan-era decadence and gruesome killings, includes prominent references to bands of the era, a fact that contributed to the idea of musicalizing the story. Sounds of the time will influence the new show's score. 'Now in particular it seems relevant, especially given what's happening on Wall Street,' said David Johnson of Johnson-Roessler."

Now, as an employee of a company that's currently in the process of downsizing 10 percent of its workforce (which could quite possibly include me), I can certainly understand the impulse to tell the story of a Wall Street banker who just happens to be a serial killer in his spare time, but sheesh.

Free Michael Moore?

Almost as odd, and from the short snippet I've watched so far, possibly much more annoying is the fact that Michael Moore's new "movie" is available for free starting today on the Internets.

Now, don't get me wrong, I used to have a lot of love for Michael Moore, and still have a fairly sizable reservoir of goodwill for the man. I thoroughly enjoyed all of his movies up until "Sicko," and even that one - in which I thought he squandered the opportunity to diagnose what's severely wrong with our health care system to spend too much time gallivanting around Europe to show what's right with theirs - was at worst a noble failure.

Now, however, with "Slacker Uprising," it seems he's made an entire movie about, well, Michael Moore (and it's surely got to grate his cheese that David Zucker's movie mocking him, "An American Carol," will actually get to play wide in movie theaters starting next week.)

What you get in "Slacker Uprising" is Michael Moore touring college campuses to urge young people to register to vote in 2004 and oust George W. Bush. Both noble goals in my book, but Michael Moore being Michael Moore, in the trailer alone he already takes credit for truly starting some kind of real "uprising."

Excuse me? No offense to the youth of America, of which I am no longer a card-holding member, but what exactly have you accomplished at the ballot box, with or without Michael Moore? I'm fairly confident that things will be different this time, but if so, that will have a heck of a lot more to do with BARACK OBAMA and his forces than Michael Moore.

But I hadn't even planned to launch into all that just to tell you this: You can watch Mr. Moore's flick (which I do intend to do, in small snippets) for free by clicking here.

First look: "Notorious"

I have rather strong doubts that any flick about the Notorious B.I.G., a k a Christopher Wallace, that's being funded by his own mother is going to be terribly objective, but the cast at least is first-rate.

Jamal Woolard, who landed the role by being a rather large black man who knows how to rap, will play Biggie himself, but the supporting players are much more exciting. Angela Bassett will play his mother, Voletta Wallace (I guess when you put up your own money you get the best to play you!) Even better, Derek Luke - easily one of my favorite actors - will play Sean Diddy Combs, and the equally promising Anthony Mackie will play the late Tupac Shakur. (And, if I may digress just a bit, I wasn't really expecting to get the rather salacious "Choke" in Macon this week, but at least we get to see Mr. Luke in Spike Lee's "Miracle at St. Anna." I can't wait.)

You won't learn too much more from this teaser clip for the flick set to open in January, but enjoy anyway.



Warning: Black man in drag and fat suit alert!

I really was hoping beyond hope that Tyler Perry was finally ready to retire the character of Madea for good.

After all, his latest flick - "Tyler Perry's The Family that Preys" - isn't perfect by any means, but when it sticks to the story of the friendship between the characters played by Alfre Woodard and Kathy Bates, it's tremendously entertaining. But I guess the urge to clown around in Madea's wig and fat suit was just too strong, so his next Lionsgate flick will indeed be "Madea Goes to Jail," based on his stage play of the same name. (And, oddly enough, Derek Luke's in this one too, playing an attorney.)

Remember, I warned you, but if you still want to see more, here's the teaser trailer. Peace out.

How far is too far to be funny?

I was gonna save that photo, and who's actually in it, for the end, but since it made me laugh so hard I almost did an actual spit-take with my coffee, why not lead with it?

Believe it or not, the middle soldier in the above photo, with enlarged face at the bottom, is none other than Robert Downey Jr. in a scene from the upcoming flick "Tropic Thunder." Does that go too far? I don't think so, but I've been known to laugh at a lot of things (almost anything from Kevin Smith, for example) that the rest of the world finds incredibly offensive.

So, what's the story behind all this? Well, in the Ben Stiller-directed flick set to come out in August, Downey plays a method actor who takes his work so seriously that, when cast to play a black soldier, he actually has surgery to become, well, a black soldier.

In his defense (though I'm hoping he won't really need one), Downey clearly understands the stakes here:

"If it's done right, it could be the type of role you called Peter Sellers to do 35 years ago. If you don't do it right, we're going to hell."

I'd say he's right, if more than a little immodest, on both counts. And hey, at least he didn't audition to play a rather large and very dead black rapper (more on that later, so bear with me.) Any thoughts on this?

Jason Reitman's new muse ... Jim Carrey?

When I saw this report this morning, my first thought was when in the world have I last seen Jim Carrey in any kind of movie at all? The answer was the mostly enjoyable "Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events" (I didn't bother with either "Fun With Dick and Jane" or "The Number 23," and I've decided my life will still be just fine if I never see any big-budget Dr. Seuss flicks.)

Now, however, he's signed on for something I'll definitely tune in for: Jason Reitman's next flick. "Pierre Pierre," which Fox Atomic picked up for a cool million bucks from a spec script from first-time auteurs Edwin Cannistraci and Frederick Seton, tells the "politically incorrect" story of a self-indulgent French nihilist (Carrey, I presume) who transports a stolen painting from Paris to London.

Sounds dark like "Thank You for Smoking" rather than light as "Juno," which would be just fine by me. And though I'd much rather look at Ellen Page (hence the photo) than Jim Carrey, he can still be an extremely funny guy under the influence of a sedative or two, so I definitely say bring it on.

Biggie to be played by ... "Gravy"?

After a year-long search to play the late and very large Brooklyn rapper Notorious B.I.G., Fox Searchlight has settled on the equally large but very much alive Brooklyn rapper Jamal "Gravy" Woolard for its upcoming biopic, "Notorious."

Never heard of him? Me either, but as you can see from this photo he certainly fits the part. And besides, he has a real-life resume that sounds like it could have come straight out of "Fear of a Black Hat." He's released a number of albums, but was also apparently shot before a radio appearance outside the rather "Notorious" New York hip-hop station Hot 97 two years ago, after which he proceeded with the interview before seeking any kind of treatment.

And, apart from that seemingly perfect bit of casting, the flick has attracted a first-rate supporting cast as well. Angela Bassett (huzzah!) will play Biggie's mother, Violetta Wallace, Derek Luke (huzzah again!) will play P. Diddy (or whatever his name is now), and Anthony Mackie (who I had never heard of) will play the equally late Tupac Shakur.

I realize this all may not matter much to most of the world, but in another case of a white guy pretending to be black I listen to much more hip-hop than any gringo of my age rightfully should, and Biggie's "Life After Death" is easily one of my favorite records, so I say this flick - which starts shooting this month - should be all kinds of cool.


Seth Rogen teams up with another very funny guy

Though the rest of this report is about an entirely different flick, I definitely wanted to share the above pic from Kevin Smith's upcoming (and surely juvenile) "Zack and Miri Make a Porno." The expressions on the faces of Elizabeth Banks and Seth Rogen were enough to make me laugh out loud.

And now comes word that Rogen will team up with writer/director Jody Hill for a new project called "Observe and Report," in which he'll play just about the lowliest specimen of human being around, the mall cop. In something that sounds like it could come straight from the Broken Lizard crew, he'll play Ronnie Barnhardt, a head of mall security who somehow gets in a turf war with the real cops.

Sounds funny enough to me, but who in the world is Jody Hill? Well, the world is about to find out when his 2006 flick "Foot Fist Way" finally gets a hopefully very wide release June 6. Few things make me laugh harder than children getting kicked in the cojones, so this martial arts comedy starring Danny McBride should be right up my alley (and I think it will be one of the real sleeper hits of this summer.)

I've included the trailer below, but be warned: if you watch it at work do it with headphones on, because the language in this is definitely R-rated (and if it gets cut off before the end, you can see the whole thing at Funnyordie.com.) Peace out.

Where's Bruce Lee when you need him?

If he were here, I'm sure he'd put an end to this madness quicker than you could say "this remake reeks."

There are surely better movies than "Enter the Dragon," but I'll challenge anyone to come up with one that's cooler.

This was supposed to be Bruce Lee's ticket to the big time, and it certainly would have been if he hadn't died during post-production. Rumor has it he had a big but uncredited role in writing and choreographing the fighting sequences in this, his first and only big Hollywood flick.

In it, of course, he's hired by the British government to infiltrate an underground fighting ring run inside an island fortress (of course!) It never gets much more complicated than that, but for anyone who loves kung fu, this flick simply contains some of the best fight scenes ever filmed. And without Mr. Lee, they will obviously be impossible to re-create, so why even bother?

Especially when it's obvious you can do a whole lot more. The "noir-style" remake to be called "Awaken the Dragon" (wow, even the name is creative) is to be written and directed by Kurt Sutter, who has made his name so far as the executive producer of "The Shield." Now, I don't watch "The Shield," and after watching the simply flawless "The Wire" I fear cop shows are spoiled for me from here on out, but surely with that on his record he can do a whole lot better than this for his breakthrough to the big screen.

And, worst of all if I have this right, the plot so far sounds like they've take just the shred of "Dragon" (and, of course, the name) and just perverted it completely. The lead will be an anglo (I assume, though maybe not) FBI agent who "pursues a rogue Shaolin monk in the bloody world of underground martial arts fight clubs." Excuse me while I take a short break to vomit.

If you want to watch a new movie about underground fight clubs (and, given the right one, I certainly would), I'd put my money instead behind what David Mamet's currently cooking up with Chiwetel Ejiofor as a mixed martial arts instructor who's lured into the world of competition. "Redbelt" is in post-production now, and even if it does also star Tim Allen, it's simply got to be tons better than whatever comes of this craptastic project.

So, you wanna be a rap movie star?

One of my former co-workers, entertainment writer Greg Fields, came up with a rather memorable lead when asked to write about a local "American Idol"-style competition that took place when Ruben Studdard and Clay Aiken were in the real "Idol" finals.

I'm paraphrasing here a bit, but what he actually wrote, and what appeared in The Telegraph, was something very close to "Are you fat, black, sweaty or ambiguously gay? If so, Southern Idol is for you." Needless to say, the organizers of the event weren't amused, but I sure was, and it's the first thing that came to mind when I read this crazy story today.

It seems that Voletta Wallace, mother of the late and very great Notorious B.I.G., is taking part in the search for an unknown person to play her son in an upcoming Fox Searchlight movie to be directed by George Tillman of "Soul Food" fame.

So, if you're a black man of a certain build who thinks he can rap, this is indeed your shot at the (somewhat) big time. Beginning at 3 a.m. Sunday, anyone can submit an audition video to BiggieCasting.com.

On the serious side, Biggie was indeed a great M.C., and if I can make a suggestion of one black man who not only fits the build, but can also rap and actually act, how about David Banner? The best Southern rapper around was just about the only good thing in Craig Brewer's "Black Snake Moan" playing well, essentially himself. I'd probably just hand the role to him now, but it should be fun to watch all the silliness that unfolds until they come to any such decision.

Two faces of Haynes' Dylan

Iwatchstuff.com had these two new stills from Todd Haynes' upcoming Bob Dylan flick, "I'm Not There," which I'm holding out hope will have enough star power to make it even to my rather remote corner of the world when it finally opens in September.

In the flick, Dylan will be played by at least six people: Christian Bale, Cate Blanchett, Marcus Carl Franklin, Richard Gere, Heath Ledger and Ben Wishaw. As these photos show, some will have more luck in pulling it off than others. I'll buy Heath Ledger as a young Dylan, but Richard Gere just looks like he's been huffing in an alley for six days straight. Feel free to pile anymore hate on Mr. Gere, or add anything else that comes to mind.



And finally, just in case anyone's still thinking it really is possibly to re-create any Bruce Lee movie without, well, Bruce Lee, please enjoy this clip of him putting an enormous ass-whupping on Ohara (Robert Wall) from the one and only "Enter the Dragon." After all, what day, even a Friday, isn't just a little bit better with a little Bruce Lee? Peace out.