Remember Alexander Payne? He's "Downsizing"

Actually, the most predictable news out there today is that the Catholic League is pissed off about Ron Howard's upcoming flick "Angels & Demons," and is once again determined to tell the world all about it even though all they did last time was add to the hype machine for "The Da Vinci Code." I mean, I can certainly understand (and share) your anger about a story about the Illuminati developing something akin to a nuclear weapon to destroy Vatican City (at least I think that's what it's about, because I'll never take the time to find out), but a much wiser strategy (which will be employed by me with my tiny pull from here on out) would be to simply ignore it.

But, as the headline clearly states, it's all about the return of Alexander Payne here today, and a welcome one at that. Has it really been more than five years since "Sideways"? Hard to believe, but it has indeed been that long since Mr. Payne has written/directed a feature film.

Which sucks because, along with that sly charmer, he's also delivered just about my favorite black comedy in "Election" and to this date the only very funny abortion comedy I can think of, "Citizen Ruth." He also created one that just left me scratching my head with "About Schmidt," but that one has a lot of admirers too, so perhaps I'm just all wet about it.

And now he's about to get back in the game in a big way, with some old friends in tow. He is putting the finishing touches on a script with Jim Taylor called "Downsizing," about a group of people who decide that shrinking themselves is the only way to get ahead in our current world. Not sure how that would work, but when those people are "Sideways" star Paul Giamatti, "Election" star Reese Witherspoon and Sacha Baron Cohen (as, of course, a "pint-sized foreigner"), I'm definitely along for the ride.

He has a first-look deal with Fox Searchlight, but who knows how all that will turn out ... stay tuned.

Carl Franklin gets in bed with ... Wal-Mart?

Carl Franklin, another director whose work I just love, has been out of feature-film work even longer than Alexander Payne, but he's about to get busy again with the help of a very unlikely benefactor.

Well, not that unlikely I guess, since Wal-Mart already owns the rest of the world. Intent on taking over the business of movies as well, Wal-Mart heiress Christy Walton will finance and executive produce her first feature film, an adaptation of the Rudolfo Anaya novel "Bless Me, Ultima." The novel is, according to Variety, "the turbulent coming-of-age story of Antonio, a youth growing up in New Mexico during WWII. He develops a relationship with Ultima, an elderly medicine woman who helps the young man navigate the battle between good and evil that rages in his village."

That actually sounds surprisingly good, and it's much better news that she's already hired Mr. Franklin to write and direct it. Before he pretty much disappeared, he managed to direct two of my favorite movies in the fantastic film noir "One False Move," which introduced Billy Bob Thornton to the world a full four years before he became Karl Childers, and "Devil in a Blue Dress," a satisfying take on the Walter Mosley novel that did the same thing for Don Cheadle.

Welcome back, Mr. Franklin.

Two links, a must-read and an aural abomination

Though David Simon tried earnestly - and unfortunately, desperately - to indict the newspaper industry in the fifth and final season of "The Wire," he unfortunately missed the mark in my book. Dont get me wrong: It was still just about the best thing on television at that time, just not up to the very high standard he had set with the first four seasons.

For a much more cogent statement about what's wrong with the press and the Baltimore police, check out what he had to say here in Sunday's Washington Post. The issue that set him off this time is a new policy from the Baltimore Police Department saying it doesn't have to identify cops who shoot or even kill suspects or anyone else. Ludicrous, no? Mr. Simon, of course, thinks so, and makes an unsurprisingly strong case in the rather distressing diatribe.

The second link I found this morning, and please don't try to say I didn't warn you, is just what A.R. Rahman is up to now that he's a certified Hollywood big shot. I mean, I certainly don't begrudge the man the right to hobnob with celebrities, but did it really have to lead to this? Without any more stalling from me, here's a preview of the English language version of "Jai Ho" he has cooked up with (no, I can't make this stuff up) the Pussycat Dolls. Listen if you dare ...

Who watches the "Watchmen"? The L.A. Galaxy, of course

This very funny clip comes courtesy of mi hermano, who sent it to me, and the great soccer blog The Offside Rules, where he found it in the first place.

In it you'll find L.A. Galaxy players Cobi Jones, Julian Valentin and Leo Griffin trying their hands at movie reviewing with a look at "Watchmen." I don't think the guys will be giving up the pitch anytime soon to become full-time critics, but it's still very entertaining, particularly Jones' declaration that he would like to be "ageless." Enjoy, and have a perfectly pleasant Tuesday. Peace out.

Why does Oscar hate music so much?

Actually, the big news about music this morning is that HBO has hired John Sayles to write and I would assume at least partly direct "Scar," an upcoming series about the childhood of Red Hot Chili Pepper Anthony Kiedis. Even though Sayles' last foray into music, the blues-tinged "Honeydripper," was just a mangled mess, Kiedis' colorful upbringing (with a father who sold drugs on the Sunset Strip) should make for entertaining fare.

But as is often the case on a Monday morning, I really start today with a beef. Though last night's Oscars broadcast was an enjoyable enough affair with some pleasantly surprising winners (but how in the world did Mickey Rourke not win?), the treatment of the best songs was simply atrocious.

And, even though they had already snubbed two worthy contenders in Bruce Springsteen's "The Wrestler" and Clint Eastwood's "Gran Torino" by failing to even nominate them, they still had two worthy contenders from A.R. Rahman's sensational "Slumdog Millionaire" soundtrack (a big winner) and a pretty solid tune from Peter Gabriel in "Down to Earth" from "Wall-E."

So why in the world couldn't they have at least offered those three separate performances, well spaced out and bookended by the Indian pop extravaganzas? I mean, really, if you can't mount a Bollywood-style musical number or two, what good is the awards show in the first place?

Instead, though Hugh Jackman got plenty of chances to ham it up (and do one grand musical number with Beyonce Knowles, who should have been a nominee and probably a winner for Best Supporting Actress for her portrayal of Etta James in "Cadillac Records"), the Best Original Song nominees were crammed into one melody, with fairly disastrous results.

It started off well enough, with little A.R. Rahman (and, being a man of fairly short stature, I say little with the highest respect possible) surrounded by beautiful dancers and big drums for "O Saya," which only could have been better with an appearance from M.I.A. (now that she's had the kid and all.) Fair enough.

But then, John Legend - a k a the man who murdered what's left of R&B (sorry for that, but I really hate John Legend, and that shot of him in a coffin from "Soul Men" was just one of my favorite images from all of 2008) - came out to croon "Down to Earth," perhaps because Peter Gabriel knew how his work was going to be treated and refused to show up.

This was pleasant enough, John Legend notwithstanding, but then things really fell apart. Rather than anything even approaching the grand finale of "Slumdog Millionaire" for "Jai Ho" (I mean, really, didn't they already choreograph it for you perfectly, and weren't Dev Patel and Freida Pinto - as well as all those adorable kids - in the audience and ready to dance?), they just limped back into it with none of the grand delivery it deserved. Worst of all, poor Mr. Rahman was left to fight for air time with Legend, who producers thought would be a good idea to have show up for the end of "Jai Ho" (after less than a minute of it!) to sing some of Gabriel's tune at the same time. Simply dreadful.

Oh well. At least Rahman won for both score and for "Jai Ho," though "O Saya" is the better song. And I guess that's enough of a rant about a show that, like I said at the start, had at least a couple of pleasant surprise winners.

Penelope Cruz as Best Supporting Actress might only have been a surprise to me, but it was certainly a welcome one. She was perfectly charming in her acceptance speech, and it was worthy recognition for one of the best comedic performances of the year in "Vicky Cristina Barcelona" (and the first Oscar win for a Spanish actress.)

And though I thoroughly enjoyed the disturbing Katrina documentary "Trouble the Water" when I got to see it at the Rehoboth Beach Independent Film Festival, I was happy to see "Man on Wire" (another flick I saw in Rehoboth) take home the big documentary prize. If you're a fan of heist flicks, than I highly recommend this flick (which must be out on DVD by now) about what might just be the ultimate caper, Philippe Petit's walk between the Twin Towers.

It was also, of course, cathartic to see Heath Ledger's family accept his Best Supporting Actor prize for "The Dark Knight," probably the most deserved award of the entire evening, and being a big backer of "Slumdog Millionaire" I was very happy to see it take home eight awards, including Best Director for Danny Boyle and Best Picture (I suppose I could have started with that, but it is a Monday morning, after all.)

And I'll leave you with the montage clip of 2009's coming attractions from last night's show. The best things to me were the glimpses of "Public Enemies," "Julie & Julia" and Larry David in "Whatever Works," and the most groan-inducing shot would have to be the one of Robin Williams and John Travolta in "Old Dogs." I have no idea how in the world they managed to leave out Disney's "The Princess and the Frog" with Anika Noni Rose, but even with that rather glaring omission, it's still a cool little preview. Enjoy, and have a perfectly passable Monday. Peace out.