With apologies to Smokey, only you can stop the 3-D plague

Actually, if I can start with a movie you all should go see ('cause I do try to keep a positive outlook on things from time to time), if you live in one of our major cities, go see Jacques Audiard's "Un Prophete" while you still have the chance.

One thing people should learn early in life is to believe at least almost everything their parents say, and this is one case that proves that solidly. When my parents compared Audiard's movie to "The Godfather" in terms of both story and quality, I was sure they had to be exaggerating, but thankfully not.

Indeed, the journey that's undergone by the titular character (Tahar Rahim) does in a way mirror the development of Michael Corleone, and it's simply mesmerising to watch (and I promise you won't even notice until the very end that it's nearly three hours long.) The movie is about what he has to do to survive a six-year term in prison, but there's a whole lot going on in that deceptively simple story arc, and the flick is packed with little moments that are magical as stand-alone nuggets but just devastating when you pile them all together (my favorite would have to be when he sticks out his tongue while going through airport security because that's the only way he knows to get searched. Priceless.)

I had never heard of Audiard until last weekend, but now at the top of my Netflix queue to be watched this weekend are his last two movies, "The Beat My Heart Skipped" and "Read My Lips." And I really can't recommend a movie much higher at all than I can "Un Prophete," so please go see it while you still have the chance.

OK, after that today, it's not quite so sunny (until the grand finale, which will thankfully feature the blissfully silly trailer for Jean Pierre Jeunet's "Micmacs," shortened, I believe, from "Micmacs Tire a Larigot.")

Now, I'm usually not one to tell people not to see movies in any form, being a firm believer in the right of people to make up their own damn minds, even if that means you go see Miley Cyrus' new movie this week. When it comes to the 3-D virus, however, a stand has to be taken, and this is indeed the week to do it (though, in case you're wondering, yes, I am well aware that I don't have to power to lead it ... nonetheless ...).

And yes, I do concede that (very rarely) the 3-D gimmick does have merit. I saw "Avatar" two times and loved it more the second one, and I thought the 3-D was used to even better effect in Henry Selick's thoroughly charming "Coraline." But, as far as I know (and I only have doubts about the latter), those were two movies conceived and shot in 3-D, rather than simply "converted" to it afterward (which is when it's outed as the complete gimmick it is.)

I would be willing to just dismiss the 3-D phenomenon as a passing fad and continue to see all my movies in glorious 2-D ("Alice in Wonderland," by the way, was fantastic when viewed the old-fashioned way, and cheaper too!), but it's of course gone well beyond that stage already. When you have studios like Warner Bros. (and possibly others already too) announcing all their "tentpole" movies from now on will be released in 3-D (exaggerate much?), it's time to learn to just say no, because clearly they can't.

So, what prompted this screed? Well, two things. First up comes the rather welcome news that in the wake of the disappointing opening of "How to Train Your Dragon" (is $44 million really disappointing? Apparently so), stock in Dreamworks dropped 8 percent on Monday. Now, I haven't seen the movie (as already established, this arthouse snob spent Saturday afternoon watching "Un Prophete" instead), but every war has to start somewhere, and if this 3-D flick has to be the first fatality, so be it.

The second thing that set me off is that Louis Leterrier's remake of "Clash of the Titans" opens this week, and as tempting as it is pop for those goofy glasses to see the Kraken in 3-D, this man at least is gonna see it in good, old-fashioned 2-D, and I'm enlisting you to do so too (if you see it all.) After all, Regal and AMC, at least, have already raised 3-D ticket prices across the board, with other companies sure to follow suit and, if no one squawks (as I'm trying to do now), more increases sure to come.

And it obviously doesn't stop with "Clash of the Titans." Other upcoming movies for which you can make the rational choice of 2-D over 3-D include Ridley Scott's "Robin Hood," "Shrek Forever After," "Toy Story 3," and since seemingly every other movie is at least now "converted" to 3-D, a whole lot more I'm surely overlooking here.

But you get my point. As soon as they started raising prices arbitrarily, the 3-D bug morphed from a trick into a cancer, and there's no way to stop it than just saying no, starting right now.

Whew. That's a whole lot of bile for a Tuesday morning, and I can't think of anything better to sweeten it up than this fantastic trailer for Jean Pierre Jeunet's "Micmacs." I thought the American release window for Jeunet's latest had already come and gone, but this is one case in which I'd be thrilled to be wrong. It indeed just played the SXSW festival, and gets another U.S. release on May 28, when I'll surely be there to see it. As you'll see from the trailer, "Micmacs" is about a band of misfits who join together to take on an arms manufacturer, and it definitely looks like its filled with plenty of Jeunet spirit. Enjoy, and have a perfectly passable Tuesday. Peace out.

For Friday, a bunch of fun movie news

Due to people and their relations being sick, it's just been a tough week for me and my co-workers, but when I saw this yesterday I immediately told everyone within talking distance, because whose day isn't at least a little bit better with news about Harold & Kumar?

It seems that Collider.com, for which I occasionally contribute, had an interview with John Cho, and along with a lot of news I skipped over about his TV show "Flash Forward" (which I do watch), he revealed the blissfully silly news that filming on "A Very Harold & Kumar Christmas" will indeed begin in June, with the movie set for release in time for Jesus' next big day.

Neil Patrick Harris will apparently be back, and even though he as far as I know might still work for Barack Obama, I'd have to assume Kal Penn will too (otherwise, why watch?) That's easily the news that just made my rather mundane Thursday.

And in easily the craziest news out there this morning, it seems that we can get used to seeing "Avatar" in some form in our movie theaters for a very, very long time to come. It seems the box office king of the world is now adding new scenes (to what was already a pretty freakin' long movie) for a theatrical re-release this fall. You know, I call it crazy, but then again, I just might spring for this, 'cause it was an awful lot of fun.

In other James Cameron news that doesn't interest me in the least but will surely intrigue other folks, he also let it spill that "Titanic" is getting its inevitable 3-D upgrade, and will probably be out in its shiny new form in 2012. I'll admit it: Not only did I just not think the movie was all that great, but the thought of all that water raging toward me in 3-D just gives this wimp the heebie-jeebies.

Noyce books more spy games

If I had to pick a single favorite director, it would probably be Alfonso Cuaron, but if I ever made a list of 10 (and may just do that soon), these next two guys would certainly make the cut.

Phillip Noyce nets this distinction largely on the strength of two fairly recent movies, his sublime remake of the Graham Greene novel "The Quiet American" and the even better South African movie "Catch a Fire."

His next movie will be the spy flick "Salt," starring Angelina Jolie as a CIA spook accused of working for the Russians. I predict that will be the at least slightly surprisingly monster hit of the summer when it comes out July 23, and it seems that Noyce himself is already booked for more spy games.

He's been tapped to helm the spy thriller "Wenceslas Square," based on the short story by Arthur Phillips. It's set in Prague in the late Cold War era and revolves around a young CIA officer and a beautiful Czech spy.

What I'd really like to see him direct is that adaptation of Philip Roth's "American Pastoral," but that seems to be on hold, perhaps forever. In the meantime, I love me some spy games, so bring all this on.

McCarthy rounds out cast for "Win Win"

Another definite directing favorite around here is Thomas McCarthy, who along with starring in the final season of "The Wire" has helmed the great little flicks "The Station Agent" and the even better "The Visitor." He's booked his next project as "Win Win," and it's taking shape very quickly.

With shooting set to start Monday in New York (not, apparently, in Atlanta, as I somehow was led to believe), Fox Searchlight has announced that Melanie Lynskey, Bobby Canavale and, yes, even "Arrested Development" vet and extremelyfunnyguy Jeffrey Tambor will join the already unveiled Paul Giamatti and Amy Ryan in the flick.

So, what's it about? Well, written by McCarthy in an at least semi-autobiographical tale, it's about a struggling attorney (Giamatti) who moonlights as a high school coach. He becomes the legal guardian of an elderly client, and when the old man's teenage son runs away, Giamatti's character's family ends up taking him in. The lad goes on to join the wrestling team and, well, you can imagine it will get pretty uplifting from there.

But, in the hands of McCarthy, I'd imagine pretty darn entertaining and insightful too, so definitely keep your eyes on this one.

Franco brothers set their sights on Bukowski tale

Anyone who'd been here before knows that I have a more than slight hetero man-crush on James Franco, and admit it, who in the world doesn't? The dude's just cool, and even though I think he's still an NYU student of some kind, he doesn't seem to ever stop working.

Among his latest projects will be adapting the Charles Bukowski semi-autobiographical novel "Ham on Rye" as a feature film with the help of his brother, Dave. Word so far is only that they're writing this, but I wouldn't be at all surprised to hear that James Franco will also play Bukowski's alter ego, Henry Chinaski, and maybe even direct the movie too.

He's most recently directed a documentary about "Saturday Night Live" that will debut at this year's SXSW festival.

OK, hopefully that lived up its billing, because it was indeed about as much news as I have time to cram in this morning. I'll leave you with the first trailer I know of for "Shrek Forever After," which will be the fourth installment in the franchise when it comes out, oddly enough, on my birthday, May 21. I didn't care much at all for the second and third movies, but the first was a hoot, so I'll take a chance on this. Enjoy, fear the turtle, and of course have a wonderful weekend. Peace out.