Keep your dirty mitts off of "Rosemary's Baby"!

Be warned at the outset: All the news today has something, good or really, really bad, to do with Michael Bay. As my only other warning, I'll just say I promised myself a few months ago I would stop writing about thoroughly unnecessary remakes both because there's just so damn many of them and because it can't do anything good for my blood pressure.

But thanks to the aforementioned Mr. Bay and his company, Platinum Dunes (even that name sucks!), I now have to break that promise. I didn't realize until this morning that it isn't just a company, but instead some kind of vast conspiracy out to ruin many of the things cinematic that I hold dear.

So, before I get consumed with rage, let me just lay it out there: Thanks to the enterprising folks at Shock Till You Drop, I woke up this morning to this new possible spawn of Satan: A remake of "Rosemary's Baby."

I'll give you a second to mull that over. Swear if you want to. Virtually nothing offends me at this point.

Platinum Dunes has staked its still-declining reputation (if you can even call it that) on such horror remakes ("Friday the 13th," "Nightmare of Elm Street" and, yes, even "The Birds" are all in the pipeline, and they've already taken down "Amityville Horror," "The Hitcher" and "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" - remember I'm just the messenger.) I could dismiss just about all of those except "The Birds" with a shrug, but when it comes to "Rosemary's Baby," well, now it's personal.

I realize I'm probably far from alone here, but Roman Polanski's fun flick really represents for me two things: Both my single favorite horror movie of all time and a crash course in what used to be great about horror flicks (atmosphere, suspense and an actually riveting storyline, imagine that.)

What has replaced those ingredients of late? Well, first there was the slew of torture chic flicks, which apparently (and thankfully) seems to have bottomed out with "Captivity." If the next trend is simply to steal every idea you can find, I can only call that a lateral move at best.

There has been one nearly sensational horror movie I've seen of late, J.A. Bayona's "The Orphanage." I obviously fear, however, that this one pure drop can do little to stop the rapidly filling bucket of bad blood.

And now in better news ...

Whew! Let me make sure all the bile's out of my system before continuing.

Another thing that makes the above story so sad is that, when they actually bother, Bay and company can still come up with projects that don't make me vomit in my own mouth. (And for the record, I really thought "Transformers" was a heck of a lot of fun.)

I found the first mention this morning of a horror flick of a different sort (meaning at least from an original concept) that Platinum Dunes is producing for writer/director David S. Goyer. In what could be described as an odd twist on "The Exorcist," Goyer's "Unborn" tells the tale of a Jewish girl tormented by the soul of a boy who died in the Holocaust.

Should the Holocaust be off limits for such fare? Perhaps, but I'm relatively confident that Goyer, who co-wrote both "Batman Begins" and the upcoming "Dark Knight," can come up with something at least slightly tasteful and thoroughly entertaining. And besides, it's rapidly attracting a four-star cast.

Odette Yustman (Beth McIntyre for anyone who saw "Cloverfield") will play the tormented youth, and it just gets better from there. Carla Gugino. who I'd probably enjoy watch eating crackers, will play her mother, and, believe it not, Gary Oldman as a rabbi and "The Wire" alum Idris Elba as a priest will be performing the exorcism.

So, is there still hope out there for horror? Not much, but projects like "Unborn" make me think there just might be a glimmer. Peace out.