Paramount's 2008 lineup: The winners and stinkers

Even though I'm cautiously optimistic that "The Golden Compass" will live up to my lofty expectations, I'd rather not talk much about that until I get to see it in a couple hours.

Instead I'd love to dish on what's coming next year, which, judging from Paramount's slate, looks like mostly a lot of fun. Here's a look at what the studio has coming up next year:

January 18: Cloverfield
Even in the capable hands of scribe Drew Goddard, this one just has "Snakes on a Plane"-like box office potential as far as I can tell. At the very least, I was happy to hear this won't be a "Blair Witch" affair: We do indeed get to see the giant monster that attacks NYC.

February 1: Strange Wilderness
Steve Zahn and Jonah Hill are very funny guys, so I'm hoping this is a lot less "Daddy Day Camp"-esque than it looks on the surface. In the crude comedy, Zahn and sidekick Allen Covert host a wildlife TV show that's in ratings decline. What can save it? Bigfoot, of course.

February 15: The Spiderwick Chronicles
I went from mildly interested in this fantasy offering to truly psyched when I found out the screenplay was written by John Sayles, who created one of my favorite "children's" movies in "The Secret of Roan Inish." In the story, two brothers and a sister investigate the strange happenings that unfold after the family moves into a secluded old house owned by their great, great uncle Arthur Spiderwick. Seth Rogen somehow figures into this, though I would have to assume not as one of the young siblings.

March 21: Drillbit Taylor
Getting revenge on bullies has to be one of the oldest (and, frankly, most tired) gambits in the movies, but I still can't help hoping this one is going to be genuinely funny. When you've got Owen Wilson as a former soldier of fortune hired to be the schoolyard enforcer, something funny just has to happen, right?

March 28: Stop-Loss
I'm still waiting for a movie about the Iraq War that delivers as much entertainment value as it does politicking, and just maybe this one will be it. You're heading in the right direction when you cast three of my favorite actors in Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Ciaran Hinds and Timothy Oliphant ("Deadwood"'s sheriff Seth Bullock.) In director Kimberly Pierce's flick, a decorated Iraq war hero (Ryan Philippe, I believe) returns home to Texas and tries to rebuild his civilian life, only to find he's called back to active duty much sooner than expected.

April 4: Shine a Light
Though Martin Scorsese has made some truly remarkable music documentaries, I just can't get too excited about this one focusing on two concerts by the Rolling Stones. Why? Well, they were already very old when I was in college, and since that was a good while ago, they're obviously just geriatric now, and very hard for me to watch without cringing.

April 11: The Ruins
What is it about flicks where Americans get into trouble just by leaving the country? Is it really all that dangerous to travel these days? In this latest one, a group of friends on holiday in Mexico accompany a fellow tourist on a remote archaeological dig in the jungle, where something evil (of course) lives among the ruins.

May 2: Iron Man
With these next two flicks, I think Paramount might just have the strongest summer slate, Dark Knight be damned. Robert Downey Jr. should make a great Tony Stark, and the supporting cast with Terrence Howard (man, does this guy like to work), Gwyneth Paltrow and Jeff Bridges ain't too shabby either.

May 22: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Count this as the single summer flick I'm most excited about. Though a visitor to this site (and forgive me please that I can't remember just who) warned me that George Lucas had commandeered the screenwriting reins for this one, which would be simply craptastic, two dudes named David Koepp and Jeff Nathanson are still listed as the scribes, so maybe there's hope. All plot details for this are under tight wraps.

June 6: Kung Fu Panda
I have to admit that, as silly as this animated flick sounds, those little critters doing kung fu were pretty infectious in the trailer. Jack Black is the voice of Po, a rather lazy and rotund panda who's called on to save the day after he is, of course, christened as the chosen one. Black should at least be very funny in this.

June 20: The Love Guru
Mike Myers usually seems to pick his comedies carefully, but I just don't see how this can turn out to be anything but awful. Myers is the titular guru who's called in to repair the estranged marriage of professional hockey player (Romany Malco) so he can get back into top form on the ice. Verne Troyer is apparently in this one, so at the very least we can expect more than a few more midget jokes, if that's your thing.

July 11: Tropic Thunder
If you believe the tabloids (and they do occasionally get things right), it was on the set of this Ben Stiller comedy that things started to go wrong for Owen Wilson, as he started partying too much with funnyman and co-star Steve Coogan. Whether that's true or not, Wilson had to drop out, but still leaves a pretty impressive cast in his wake, including director Stiller, Jack Black, Robert Downey Jr., Coogan, Bill Hader and Jay Baruchel of "Knocked Up" fame. In the flick, a group of actors find themselves somehow thrown into a "real, warlike situation." It's possible that this scenario was funny when it starred Larry the Cable Guy, but I have to say I didn't bother to find out.

August 8: Eagle Eye
I just immediately have to be skeptical about any flick in which Shia LaBoeuf somehow gets framed as a terrorist (along with either Michelle Monaghan or, even better, Rosario Dawson, so maybe there's hope.) D.J. Caruso directs this one.

August 22: Case 39
Well, we made it this far (I think) without a Renee Zellweger sighting, but I guess it had to happen eventually. In this flick she plays a social worker who saves an abused 10-year-old girl (Jodelle Ferland) from her parents only to discover that the girl is not as innocent as she thinks. At least the great Ian McShane factors into this one somehow.

September 26: Nowhereland
An Eddie Murphy comedy that's actually funny? Not likely, but we can still dream, right? In this one he plays a financial executive who's invited into his daughter's imaginary world, where he just might find solutions to halt the downward spiral of his career (the executive's or Murphy's? You decide.)

Fall 2008: Ghost Town
Judging from the title of this one I would have assumed it was just one of those bad "horror" flicks that studios dump out at the end of summer, but it's actually a comedy starring Ricky Gervais. In the directorial debut of "Indy 4" screenwriter David Koepp, Gervais plays a dentist who has a near-death experience during routine surgery and gains the ability to see dead people who ask him for help in contacting the living.

Nov. 7: Madagascar: The Crate Escape
Even it did spawn way too many domestic-animals-in-the-wild flicks (and rip the idea off from a few predecessors too), I thought the first Madagascar movie was a hoot, especially those silly penguins, so this should be fun.

Nov. 26: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Even more than "Indy 4," you can count this as the Paramount movie I'm most psyched for next year. David Fincher (resounding huzzah!) takes on the F. Scott Fitzgerald tale about a man (Brad Pitt) who is born in his eighties in 1918 and ages in reverse through the 20th century. Taraji P. Henson of "Hustle & Flow," one of my favorite young actresses, figures into this one somehow too.

Dec. 19: Revolutionary Road
For as long as I've been hearing about this one I just assumed it was coming out at the end of this year rather than next. Sam Mendes directs this tale of a young couple (Leo DiCaprio and Mendes' clearly better half, Kate Winslet) living in a Connecticut suburb during the mid-1950s who struggle to come to terms with their personal problems while trying to raise their two children.

Dec. 25: Star Trek
I have to confess that the whole Star Trek thing is just a tremendous chink in whatever geek armor I still possess. I just never got into it, in any variation, but I'd never knock anyone who does (and there are clearly more than a few of you out there.) All I really know about this is that it's apparently the rather amazing 11th Star Trek flick, it's being directed by J.J. Abrams, and that Zachary Quinto (Sylar on "Heroes") does make a very convincing Spock.

TBA: A Tale of Two Sisters
OK, last one (finally!) and it sounds really odd. In a remake of a Korean horror flick, the rather alluring Elizabeth Banks (who will be making a "porno" with Seth Rogen for director Kevin Smith too) is the cruel stepmother of two sisters who return home from a mental institution. Sounds pretty darn far from my cup of tea.

And there you have it. Feel free to tell me which Paramount (and non-Paramount) flicks you're most excited about for 2008. I'll leave you with this fairly freakin cool pic from "Speed Racer." I'm still more than a little skeptical that this Wachowski brothers flick will be anything but crap, but judging from this pic it should at least look pretty astounding. Peace out.