The Jason McElwain story?

This one may just prove that I've permanently succumbed to cynicism.

I literally spit up my coffee laughing as I read this on The Hollywood Reporter site this morning, certainly not the correct reaction by most standards.

It seems Columbia Pictures has acquired the "life rights" (what a tacky term) to Jason McElwain, aka the young man who ruined almost a month's worth of Sportscenter with this accomplishment: He made six three-pointers in the last four minutes of a high school basketball game.

Now, this is not something I could ever do, and I, unlike Mr. McElwain, am not autistic. But the only thing seeing him do this every time I turned on what is supposed a sports highlight show inspired in me was exasperation.

Given Hollywood's Oscar love affair with afflicted characters, the idea of a movie about this drove me to even darker thoughts. Could this fairly remarkable young man's true story be just the right break to finally snare that Oscar for Heath Ledger or maybe even a master thespian like Freddie Prinze Jr.?

The evil genius behind this impending disaster is, apparently, Magic Johnson, who will serve as an executive producer.

"When I first saw the highlights on ESPN and then heard Jason's backstory, I said, 'Man, I've got to be a part of this.' This story touched me, my kids, my wife," Magic Johnson said, according to THR. "When we go to the movies, this is the type of story we want to see."

Well, your talk show was probably something you wanted to see too, but luckily noone else did.

But enough ranting from me. I really am, usually, a nice person. Really.